Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Molly’s super casual emergency

Brains On HQ is riddled with emergencies! A bowl of pudding is chasing Sanden. Marc’s piano has challenged him to a rap battle. And Rosie is out of mustard. Anna and Ruby need Molly’s help to solve these problems, but Molly is in her favorite chair so she can’t be bothered. Hopefully, a sneak attack can get her on her feet.


Listen to our debaters face off. Who will be crowned the Smash Boom Best?

MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, Molly Bloom here. We love playing games at Brains On! We like tricky trivia, grueling guessing games, and challenging challenges. If you want to play along with us, sign up for the Smarty Pass. For just $5 a month, you'll get access to ad free versions of Brains On, Smash, Boom, Best, Forever Ago, and more. Plus, you'll get a bonus feat of all new episodes where we play games like this one. 

SUBJECT 1: On the first floor, a witch has cursed Sanden Totten's pudding because he refused to answer one of her riddles. And now, the pudding is chasing him around and won't stop until he learns a thematically appropriate life lesson. 

SUBJECT 2: Hmm, I always prefer Jell-o anyway. 

SUBJECT 1: Well, on the second floor, Mark's self-playing piano and longtime music rival Do-re-mi-mi has challenged him to a rap battle. And the loser will be banished from Brains On HQ. But Mark can't rap because he's lost his backwards rap cap. 

SUBJECT 2: That's so whack. 

SUBJECT 1: And on the fifth floor, Rosie's run out of mustard. OK, I know that one doesn't sound that bad, but altogether, it's not great. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Listen, you two, I would love to help, but I'm already sitting in this glorious love seat and I am too relaxed to get up. So maybe you can find someone else to handle the pudding, the rapping, and the mustard. 

[THEME MUSIC] 

To hear more, head to smartypass.org and subscribe. A monthly pass costs about the same as an ice cream cone and gets you fun bonus content like this plus ad free versions of all of our shows. Again, that's smartpass.org. Thanks for supporting the Brains On! Universe, Smarty pals. 

Mars vs. Saturn

Today’s debate features two powerful planets in a cosmic clash – it’s Mars vs. Saturn! Brains On Editor Sanden Totten will rep the red planet while astronomer Mark Popinchalk will glimmer for the gassy giant. Who will be crowned the most precious planet?


Jack and the Beanstalk vs. The Ugly Duckling

Today’s debate throws two timeless tales into the ring for a clash of the classics. It’s Jack and the Beanstalk vs. The Ugly Duckling! In this epic showdown, author and “Grimm, Grimmer, Grimmest” podcast host Adam Gidwitz climbs to the top for Jack and the Beanstalk, while author Soman Chainani helps The Ugly Duckling soar to new heights!


Ghostbusters vs. Jurassic Park

Today’s debate is full of frights and delights. Grab your popcorn and watch your backs because it’s Ghostbusters vs. Jurassic Park! We’ve got podcast producer Tracy Mumford, ready to take the call for team Ghostbusters and journalist and author Tom Weber is eager to roar for team Jurassic Park!


Halloween Candy Grab Bag

Sneak attack? Try snack attack! We’re going absolutely decadent with this special, king-sized episode that will pit a whopping SIX sweet treats head to head in a candy clash for glory. Forever Ago host Joy Dolo will battle Brains On Universe producer Aron Woldeslassie in the ultimate Halloween candy showdown! Get ready for some sweet, sticky, and seriously silly mini debates and find out which treat deserves the top spot in every trick-or-treat bag. 


Smarty Pass Presents: Sanden vs a Velociraptor

Can’t get enough Smash Boom Best? Here’s a bonus episode! Sign up for Smarty Pass and you’ll get a bonus episode like this every month. Usually, these episodes are just for Smarty Pass subscribers but today we’re sharing one with all of our listeners. To get more, sign up for Smarty Pass at smartypass.org 





ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Psst. Hey, it's Aron Woldeslassie from Smash, Boom, Best. I've got exciting news. This October, the Brains On Universe team is sharing some of our super special bonus episodes. If you're a Smarty Pass subscriber, you already know about these episodes. But if you aren't, we wanted to give you a taste of what you'd get if you joined. All October, we're asking you to support our shows by subscribing to Smarty Pass. And to celebrate, we'll hosted virtual smarty party in November just for Smarty Pass subscribers. 

Join today at smartypass.org and you'll have bonus episodes like these, ad-free episodes, and other awesome perks. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thanks so much for supporting the shows. 

AUTOMATED VOICE: Now entering Brains On headquarters. 

[MACHINE BEEPING] 

MARC SANCHEZ: Hey Smarty pal, Marc Sanchez here. And I'm with my friend, Anna Goldfield. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Yeah. Marc and I were headed to the Brains On racetrack to see who's faster, my snail, Lola or his sloth, Alfred. 

MARC SANCHEZ: Alfred is incredible behind the wheel. Anna, how is Lola even going to drive her car? 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: With gusto, that's how. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Hey, guys. 

MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if it isn't Molly Bloom. Are you coming to watch the race? 

MOLLY BLOOM: No, I'm actually looking for something. You haven't seen Sanden Totten anywhere, have you? 

MARC SANCHEZ: No. Why? 

MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, it doesn't matter. Follow up question. Have you seen anyone from the Cretaceous Period running around? 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Not since Christmas, no. Why do you ask? 

MOLLY BLOOM: Well, you know how we have that super duper 3D bio printer in the basement? 

MARC SANCHEZ: I sure do. I use it whenever I need someone to carpool with. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Well, I used it to make a velociraptor so I could finally teach a lizard how to salsa. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Of course. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Anyway, I 3D-printed a velociraptor. But just to be safe, I made sure it was vegan so it wouldn't eat any of us. But the minute we started to dance, it smelled Sanden's vegan pumpkin bread and ran off. 

MARC SANCHEZ: If it eats Sanden's pumpkin bread, Sanden will be heartbroken. 

MOLLY BLOOM: I know. He loves that bread. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Wait, what's the big deal? I mean, If Sanden's allowed to eat the pumpkin bread, then so should a velociraptor. 

MARC SANCHEZ: Sanden gets to eat that because he's funny, and kind, and has great hair. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, velociraptors run at a speed of 24 miles per hour and have 60 serrated teeth. Does Sanden and have that many teeth? Are his teeth even serrated? 

MARC SANCHEZ: He has the perfect amount of teeth because he's perfect. Do you really think a dinky-Dino is as good as our Sanden? 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: No, I think Sanden is great. But he doesn't have claws or feathers. And when you think about it, shouldn't a velociraptor get as much vegan pumpkin bread as anyone else? 

MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, I didn't think you two were so polarized when it came to velociraptors and Sanden Totten. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: I just really like dinosaurs. 

MARC SANCHEZ: And Sanden is my friend. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Well, there's only one way to find out which is better with a-- sneak attack. We'll play, By Any Other Name. For this sneak attack, you must pretend Sanden and velociraptors don't have names. Come up with three alternative names for your side. Marc, you'll be representing Sanden, and Anna, you'll be representing velociraptors. Does that make sense to you two? 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Totally. Got it. 

MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, absolutely. It's my honor. 

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Marc, you'll go first. Please give us a nickname for Mr. Totten. 

MARC SANCHEZ: All right, let's see. Sanden is a world-class dresser. So I'm going to call-- another name for Sanden Totten would be fun-loving fashionista. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, very nice. OK. Anna, what would you call a velociraptor if you couldn't say velociraptor? 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Want to start simple. I'm going to go with legs because they're really fast. 

MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Marc, it is time for Sanden's second alternate name. 

MARC SANCHEZ: OK. I'm sticking with Sanden's traits here. Fan of punk rock. Also a fan of giving very specific gifts to people. He's a great gift giver. People don't know this. So I'm going to say another word for Sanden is punk rock presenter of perfect presents. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, alliteration. I love it. All right, Anna, time for your second alternative name for velociraptors. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: OK. So as we all know, birds are descended directly from dinosaurs. So I'm going to go ahead and call the toothy velociraptor a Chompy Chicken. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Another alliterative name. I'm into it. All right, Marc, please give us the final alternate name for Sanden. 

MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if we really want to know Sanden's alternate name, of course, it's Peppy McPeppermint because he's so peppy, he's got so much energy, and he's cool like a mint. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Wow. 

MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Anna, please give us your final alternative name for velociraptors. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, this is the one I was saving for last, and Marc totally pulled the rug out from under me. Because I'm-- a velociraptor in Latin translates to speedy snatcher or grabber. So my final submission for name for velociraptor is Speedy McGrabs. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, I love this. Peppy McPeppermint versus Speedy McGrabs. Ooh, OK. Those are really great names, you two. 

MARC SANCHEZ: Well, whatever you call them, Sanden is the best, I think. 

[PHONE RINGS] 

Hello. 

SANDEN TOTTEN (ON THE PHONE): You guys, a dinosaur in my office is eating all of my pumpkin bread. 

ANNA GOLDFIELD: Does it have 60 teeth? 

MOLLY BLOOM: Does it know how to salsa? 

SANDEN TOTTEN (ON THE PHONE): [SCREAM] Send help, please. 

[MUSIC PLAYING] 

MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humbert. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge, are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends. Bye. 

MARC SANCHEZ: See ya. 

[MUSIC PLAYING] Ooh, you're the Smash, Boom, Best. Ooh, put you to the test. ooh, you're the Smash, Boom, Best. Ooh, better than the rest. It's the Smash, Boom Best. It's the Smash, Boom, Best. 

Smarty Pass Presents: Sanden vs a Velociraptor 

Rollerblades vs. Scooters

Grab your helmet and knee pads because it’s Rollerblades vs. Scooters! Listen as journalist and podcaster Jed Kim rolls out for team Scooters while singer, writer, and comedian Andrew Barbato slices through the competition for team Rollerblades!


Vampires vs Werewolves

Today, the ultimate immortal rivals go fang to claw in a blood-thirsty debate. It's vampires vs werewolves! Who will win? Pale, blood-sucking vampires? Or supernaturally speedy, howling werewolves? 


Vampires vs. Werewolves

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Cheetahs vs. Sloths

Beloved host and sloth lover, Molly Bloom, takes on Brains On producer and cheetah enthusiast, Sanden Totten. Which team will triumph? Grab your Smarty Pass to hear and find out!


MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. Molly Bloom here. We love playing games at Brains On. We like tricky trivia, grueling guessing games, and challenging challenges. If you want to play along with us, sign up for the Smarty Pass. For just $5 a month, you'll get access to ad-free versions of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Forever Ago, and more. Plus you'll get a bonus feed of all new episodes where we play games like this one. 

JOY DOLO: Let's introduce our magnificent debaters. Here to represent those sweet, dopey-eyed darlings we call sloths, it's Smash Boom Best and Brains On host, Molly Bloom! 

MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, Joy. 

JOY DOLO: Hi, Molly. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, Joy. Hi, Mason. I'm so nervous. Hi. 

JOY DOLO: No, you're going to do so good. 

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. 

JOY DOLO: Just breathe deep. Molly, in one sentence, why are sloths superior to cheetahs? 

MOLLY BLOOM: There are so many reasons, but I'm just going to say, sloths are role models for all of us. 

JOY DOLO: Sloths are role models for all of us. I'm going to write that down. 

MASON: That was profound, yeah. 

JOY DOLO: Profound, absolutely nice. Fabulous. Now, in the other corner, speaking in defense of those fast and furious felines we call cheetahs, it's science journalist, Brains On producer, and editor extraordinaire, Sanden Totten. Hi, Sanden. 

SANDEN TOTTEN: Hey, team cheetah! 

JOY DOLO: Now, Sanden, you've got one sentence to introduce us to the glory of cheetahs. Let's hear it. 

SANDEN TOTTEN: OK. Cheetahs are amazing and marvelous, not just because they're fast but because of all the other amazing things they do that I will tell you about. 

MOLLY BLOOM: To hear more, head to smartypass.org and subscribe. A monthly pass costs about the same as an ice cream cone and gets you fun bonus content like this plus ad-free versions of all of our shows. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thanks for supporting the Brains On Universe, Smarty Pals. 

Surfing vs. Ice Skating

Today’s debate is a sporty showdown between two playful pastimes. It’s Surfing vs. Ice Skating!


Broccoli vs. Carrots: a veggie debate

Today’s debate pairs perfectly with dip and is better than any chip. It’s Broccoli vs. Carrots!


Broccoli vs. Carrots

Dungeons & Dragons vs. Monopoly

Today’s debate has lots of dice and is very nice. Get ready for a game night delight, because it’s Dungeons & Dragons vs. Monopoly!


Parrots vs. Gorillas

Today’s debate is a smackdown of the smartest. It’s Parrots vs. Gorillas!


Weekends vs. Vacations

Today’s debate is a break from all of life’s troubles. It's Weekends vs. Vacations!


Eyebrows vs. Thumbs

They come in pairs, they both wiggle and they’re going up against each other in today’s debate! It’s Eyebrows vs. Thumbs!


Seashells vs. Ferns

Today’s debate is a showdown of natural wonder - a beachy beauty vs. a fabulous frond. It’s Seashells vs. Ferns!


Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Analog vs. Digital

Screens are amazing tools. We use them to watch shows, send messages, get directions, and more! But they’re also good at distracting us and can get in the way of having fun IRL! So this August, we’re launching an initiative called ANALOG AUGUST. It’s a challenge to step away from your screens and spend more time device-free! 


In honor of the cause, we’ve whipped up an iconic Smash Boom Smarty Pass special: ANALOG vs. DIGITAL starring Smash Boom Best producers, Anna Weggel and Aron Woldesslassie! Handwriting vs. Typing. Zoom vs. Classroom. Book vs. E-reader. Which ones are best? Tune in to find out and decide for yourself!


[EXCITING MUSIC] MOLLY BLOOM: Hi there. Molly Bloom here. We love playing games in the Brains On Universe. We like tricky trivia, grueling guessing games, and challenging challenges. If you want to play along with us, sign up for the Smarty Pass. For just $4 a month, you'll get access to ad-free versions of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Forever Ago, and more. Plus you'll get bonus games in your ad-free feeds every month, like this one. (SINGING) Do I want to use Auto-tune or just my regular voice? 

ANNA WEGGEL: Uh, Molly. 

MOLLY BLOOM: (SINGING) Smash Boom Best producer Anna Weggel. 

ANNA WEGGEL: I'm here for the analog versus digital debate. 

MOLLY BLOOM: You're representing Team Digital, right? 

ANNA WEGGEL: Right. 

ARON WOLDESLASSIE: And I'm here to represent Team Analog. Bababooey. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best producer Aron Woldeslassie. 

ARON WOLDESLASSIE: That's my game and my name. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Well, I'm super excited for today's Smash Boom mini debate. We're arguing which is cooler, analog or digital? Analog is a word we use to describe using physical objects like maps you fold, old records you play on a turntable, board games instead of video games. By digital, we mean computers and screens like fun apps, text messages, and videos. You guys get it? 

ANNA WEGGEL: Sending you a thumbs up emoji right now. 

ARON WOLDESLASSIE: And I'm just literally using my thumb for a thumbs up. 

[EXCITING MUSIC] 

MOLLY BLOOM: To hear more, head to smartypass.org to subscribe. It's $4 a month or $36 for the whole year. This game will be waiting for you once you subscribe to the feed. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thank you so much for supporting our shows. 

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Analog vs. Digital 

Donuts vs. Bagels

Today’s debate features two delicious and delectable delicacies. It’s Donuts vs. Bagels!


Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Smash TUNE Best

Everybody loves a good theme song! And thanks to Molly’s new game, producers Anna Goldfield and Anna Weggel will be challenged to come up with theme songs for some of our proposed new shows! So grab your smarty passes to hear the brand new game, Smash TUNE Best!


[MUSIC PLAYING] MOLLY BLOOM: Hi there, Molly Bloom here. We love playing games in the Brains on Universe. We like tricky trivia, grueling guessing games, and challenges. If you want to play along with us, sign up for the Smarty Pass. For just $4 a month, you'll get access to ad-free versions of Brains On, Smash TUNE Best, Forever Ago, and more. Plus, you'll get bonus games in your ad-free feeds every month, like this one. 

INTERVIEWER: Hey, Molly. Hey, are you doing more office construction, or do you just like how you look in a hard hat? 

MOLLY BLOOM: Both. I'm actually finishing a few super duper pooper secret projects. 

INTERVIEWER: Super duper pooper projects. Do tell. 

INTERVIEWER: Yeah. Are you building another ice cream barn for Mark? 

MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, no. He already has two of those. 

INTERVIEWER: Are you constructing a fish tank for Rose's aquatic werewolf cleaning lady? 

MOLLY BLOOM: No, the where mermaids won't be free until the next full moon. 

INTERVIEWER: Are you finally constructing an automatic supersonic sym-bionic systematic roller rink? 

MOLLY BLOOM: No, I couldn't get the permits. No. What I'm building are the studios for three new podcasts. 

INTERVIEWER: New podcasts? 

MOLLY BLOOM: You bet. People are going to love all the zany additions I've made to the Brains On Universe. 

INTERVIEWER: Wait, Molly, are you even allowed to make things because-- 

MOLLY BLOOM: But the one thing I can't make for the new show is our theme songs. 

To hear more, head to smartypass.org to subscribe. It's $4 a month or $36 for the whole year. This game will be waiting for you once you subscribe to the feed. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thank you so much for supporting our shows. 

[MUSIC PLAYING] 



Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Elevator Hostage

Uh oh, Molly is late to a Smash Boom Best taping of Elevators vs. Escalators! But things get worse when she runs into the all-knowing elevator at Brains On HQ, who demands she play a special sneak attack! Will Molly make it to the taping on time?


MOLLY: Hi, Molly here. And I have one question for you. Have you gotten your Smarty Pass yet? No? Well, what are you waiting for? For just $4 a month or $36 a year, you can get a Smarty Pass and get ad-free feeds of all of our shows. 

That's Brains On!, Forever Ago, Moment of Um, and Smash Boom Best. And you get new special bonus games every month. If you don't subscribe, you'll still get your free feeds like always. But subscribing gets you ad-free feeds and super fun bonus games every month. 

In this month's bonus game, I get trapped in the elevator and the only way out is with a sneak attack. 

ELEVATOR: Elevators versus escalators? 

MOLLY: Yeah. 

ELEVATOR: Is it really a debate? 

MOLLY: Yes, it is. 

ELEVATOR: Isn't it obvious who will win? 

MOLLY: I don't know. They're both pretty cool. 

ELEVATOR: Wrong answer, Molly. 

MOLLY: But elevator-- 

ELEVATOR: Elevators go faster, higher, and carry more weight than escalators. If you were taking an escalator to the 49th floor, it'd take you forever. Elevators can travel 2,000 feet per minute. 

MOLLY: OK. 

ELEVATOR: Seriously, I am very fast. 

MOLLY: Well, maybe you could show me and take me to the 49th floor. 

ELEVATOR: Fine. Hold on, Molly. 

[BEEPING] 

49th floor. 

MOLLY: That was fast, but the ride could have been a little smoother. 

To hear more, head to smartypass.org to subscribe. It's $4 a month or $36 for the whole year. This game will be waiting for you once you subscribe to the feed. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thank you so much for supporting our shows. 

Pegasus vs. Centaur

Today’s legendary debate features two mighty, mythological horses. It’s Pegasus vs. Centaur!


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. My Little Pony

Today’s debate is a friendly debate between two groups of special besties. It’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. My Little Pony!

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Sanden vs. a Velociraptor

How many times have you asked yourself: which is better, Sanden or a Velociraptor? On the one hand, Velociraptors hunt in packs, but on the other hand, Sanden Totten is funny. Sanden has great hair, but Velociraptors have been featured in several movies. It’s impossible to decide. Well, grab your Smarty Pass because with the help of a fun game we’ll decide which is best Sanden or a Velociraptor!


MOLLY BLOOM: Hello, hello. Molly Bloom from Brains On here. I have just one question for you. Are you a Smarty Pal? Well, for just $4 a month, you can get a Smarty Pass and become one. Smarty Pass gets you ad-free feeds of all of our shows. That's Brains On, Forever Ago, Moment of Um, and Smash Boom Best. And you get new special bonus episodes every month. If you don't subscribe, you'll still get your free feeds like always, but subscribing gets you ad-free feeds and super fun bonus content every month. 

In this month's bonus game, what could possibly be better, a Velociraptor or Sanden Totten? 

SUBJECT 1: If it eats Sanden's pumpkin bread, Sanden will be heartbroken. 

MOLLY BLOOM: I know, he loves that bread. Wait, what's the big deal? I mean, if Sanden's allowed to eat the pumpkin bread, then so should a Velociraptor. 

SUBJECT 1: Sanden gets to eat that because he's funny, and kind, and has great hair. 

MOLLY BLOOM: Well, velociraptors run at a speed of 24 miles per hour and have 60 serrated teeth. Does Sanden have that many teeth? Are his teeth even serrated? 

SUBJECT 1: He has the perfect amount of teeth because he's perfect. Do you really think a dinky dino is as good as our Sanden? 

MOLLY BLOOM: No, I think Sanden's great. He doesn't have claws or feathers. And when you think about it, shouldn't a Velociraptor get as much vegan pumpkin bread as anyone else? 

To hear more, head to smartypass.org to subscribe. It's $4 a month or $36 for the whole year, a great deal. This game will be waiting for you once you subscribe to the feed. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thanks so much for supporting our show. 



Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Sanden vs. a Velociraptor 

Stripes vs. Polka Dots

Today’s debate is a charming challenge between two patterned phenoms. It’s Stripes vs. Polka Dots!


All Episodes

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Molly’s super casual emergency

Mars vs. Saturn

Jack and the Beanstalk vs. The Ugly Duckling

Ghostbusters vs. Jurassic Park

Halloween Candy Grab Bag

Smarty Pass Presents: Sanden vs a Velociraptor

Rollerblades vs. Scooters

Vampires vs. Werewolves

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Cheetahs vs. Sloths

Surfing vs. Ice Skating

Broccoli vs. Carrots

Dungeons & Dragons vs. Monopoly

Parrots vs. Gorillas

Weekends vs. Vacations

Eyebrows vs. Thumbs

Seashells vs. Ferns

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Analog vs. Digital

Donuts vs. Bagels

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Smash TUNE Best

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Elevator Hostage

Pegasus vs. Centaur

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. My Little Pony

Smarty Pass Sneak Peek: Sanden vs. a Velociraptor

Stripes vs. Polka Dots