jump rope vs. hula hoop_square
Emily C. Bernstein for APM Studios
Today’s debate is a high-energy showdown between two classic playground pastimes – Jump Rope vs. Hula Hoop! Will journalist Jed Kim bounce his way to victory for Team Jump Rope? Or will writer and comedian Andrew Barbato spin circles around the competition for Team Hula Hoop? Who will be crowned the Smash Boom Best? Vote below for the team YOU think won!
Also… do you have your Smarty Pass yet? Get yours today for just $5/month (or $45/year) and get bonus episodes every month, and ad-free versions of every episode of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Moment of Um and Forever Ago. Visit www.smartypass.org to get your Smarty Pass today. As an added bonus, your Smarty Pass will grant you access to a super special debate starring Sanden and Molly!
Educators - Lesson plan for Smash Boom Best - Jump Rope vs. Hula Hoop [Right click to download].pdf
Audio Transcript
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ANNOUNCER: From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.
ELOISE: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a high-energy showdown between two classic playground pastimes, jump rope versus hula hoop. We've got journalist Jed Kim ready to bounce his way to victory for team jump rope.
JED KIM: Jump rope! You're going to hop with excitement at facts.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] And writer and comedian Andrew Barbato is here to spin circles around the competition for team hula hoop.
ANDREW BARBATO: My arguments are about to spin out of control in the best way possible. Go hula hoops!
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Eloise from Hartman, Wisconsin. Eloise loves eating beer cheese soup with croutons, feeding baby birds at her local wildlife rehabilitation center, and she once saved a chipmunk's life! Hi, Eloise.
ELOISE: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Eloise, what is it like to feed baby birds?
ELOISE: It's fun. I mean, they're really tiny and cute.
MOLLY BLOOM: How do you feed them?
ELOISE: Some you need syringes and liquid. Others you feed like insects and stuff like that.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my gosh. Are they cute?
ELOISE: Oh, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh.
ELOISE: They're very cute.
ANDREW BARBATO: Do you give them the beer cheese soup?
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
ELOISE: No.
MOLLY BLOOM: Not suitable for baby birds.
ELOISE: No.
MOLLY BLOOM: Eloise, I feel like you should know that this is a rematch between Jed and Andrew. They have faced off once before.
ANDREW BARBATO: Yes, Yes. And then the votes-- look, there's a lot of statements out there on the internet that you can't always trust. Smash Boom Best is a reputable source, and we should believe them, but there is a pending lawsuit. And we're going to see how that goes.
JED KIM: I won, and it feels real good. But my own family preferred you.
ANDREW BARBATO: Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
JED KIM: I must destroy you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Can Jed win his own family? Only time will tell. But first, here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds-- the declaration of greatness, the micro-round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Eloise, will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. OK. Jed, Andrew, and Eloise, are you ready?
ELOISE: Yeah.
JED KIM: I'm jumping at the bit.
ANDREW BARBATO: I am revolving moving and spinning and shaking, and I am so excited for you, Jed. I would say that jump ropes are cool, but I don't like lying in front of kids.
JED KIM: Hula hoops.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it is time for the--
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin. And Jed, you're up first. Tell us what makes jump ropes so joyful.
SPEAKER 1: Physical education film number seven, Hopped up on Jump Roping.
MAN 1: Hello there, American youths. What are you up to?
CHILD 1: We're building a fallout shelter, sir.
MAN: Sounds fun, but don't forget the importance of bodily rigor. Say, here's a jumping rope.
CHILD 1: Golly!
JED KIM: That's enough of that. Look, I don't need retro propaganda to convince you that jump ropes are infinitely skiptipidibly superior. Reason number one, amazing physical prowess from a piece of cord. Imagine there was a tool that would give you an incredible workout. I'm talking muscle-quivering, lung-screaming, sweat-soaking fitness. And you can store it in a drawer or hang it from a hook. How much would you be willing to pay for this amazing device? 100, 200, 1,000?
Oh, it's like $10, give or take. And I am serious about the health benefits. Scientific studies have shown, jumping rope improves your heart health, endurance, lower and upper body maximal strength-- whatever that means. It's no wonder top athletes like LeBron James incorporate it into their training regimens. Plus, there are so many ways to jump-- just for funsies, speed rope, double unders. That's spinning it twice in one jump.
[JUMP ROPE SWINGING]
Even that crisscross arms thingy.
MAN 2: Ah, nuts.
JED KIM: And then there's the ultimate achievement, the pinnacle of athleticism. I am, of course, referring to that physics-defying magic we know as double dutch! Two people spinning two jump ropes, a maelstrom of whipping fury in which someone jumps-- the danger, the beauty, the incredible rhymes.
CHILDREN: (SINGING) 1, 2, 3, and 59. She's jumping rope and doing pretty fine. Clap, clap. Put it in the trap. How many presents is she going to wrap?
JED KIM: Should I try? Eh. I'm going to do it. No, no, I'm too scared. How do they do that?
CHILDREN: 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
JED KIM: [CLEARS THROAT] Reason number two, jump ropes are super cool, versatility. In a pinch, so many things can be a jump rope-- a clothesline, an extension cord, all of your aunt's necklaces linked together.
And if you do have a jump rope, well, you've got about a thousand tools at your disposal. You could use it to swing across a canyon. It'd have to be a pretty narrow one, but still. You could use it to lasso an evil villain, or stretch it out to trip an evil villain, or tie up the evil villain. It could even be a lead you use to drag said evil villain to justice.
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
REPORTER: How did you save the day?
CHILD 2: I had a jump rope.
[REPORTERS OOHING]
[SHUTTERS CLICKING]
JED KIM: How many different ways can you use a jump rope? Why, that's only as limited as your imagination. My imagination is pretty limited, so let's move on to reason number three-- jump ropes bring people together.
The hula hoop is a novelty that, by its very nature, forces people to keep their distance. When you do it, you're like, oh, oh, don't get too close. You'll ruin my hooping. It's an isolating experience, even more so because, you know, you look silly.
FATHER: Look at me gyrate!
DAUGHTER: Ew, Dad, stop.
JED KIM: That's not the case with a jump rope. A pair of people can jump with a single rope. If you've got three people, easy. Two people twirl, their friend jumps in the middle. Heck, if you do that, you'll soon have a line of friends and neighbors all waiting for their turn to jump in. Plus, oh, man. What if one of them has a second rope? Then we could-- that's right-- double dutch!
CHILDREN: (SINGING) Andy's on the hula hoop, wiggling like he's full of poop.
JED KIM: In conclusion. Boo hula hoops! Hooray jump ropes! I got to go. It's my turn. I'm going for it. Oh! Oh, sorry. Sorry. Let's do it again!
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Jed's going to get that double dutch real soon. I just know it.
JED KIM: Someday!
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, Eloise, what stood out to you about this wonderful declaration of greatness?
ELOISE: I really liked that the end when he tried to jump rope because I tried to jump rope. I feel like him a lot. I can't get over it. But that's OK. I liked the rhymes and all those things with the evil villains.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm.
ELOISE: The music in the beginning, I liked that.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent.
ELOISE: And LeBron James, why not?
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. All right. Andrew, it's time for your rebuttal. Tell us why jump rope should be called dump ropes. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now!
ANDREW BARBATO: Wow. Well, first of all, I'm boiling. I mean, I am boiling. How dare you call the hula hoop a novelty? You know, luckily, you did the work for me, Jed, because every time that you tried to use a jump rope in that declaration of greatness, you were unable to do it. You had to remove yourself. And guess what, maybe you don't have a trauma from gym class, but I certainly do because I'm meant to get tripped up in this rope time and time again. No, absolutely not.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
ANDREW BARBATO: Thank you.
JED KIM: You say that the hula hoop is not a novelty and that I was not able to jump rope? I didn't record myself trying to hula hoop because there would have been so much cussing, and this is a kids podcast.
[LAUGHTER]
ANDREW BARBATO: Oh my gosh.
JED KIM: Hula hoops are impossible and pointless.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right.
ANDREW BARBATO: Wow.
MOLLY BLOOM: Andrew, let's hear your declaration of greatness. Tell us why hula hoops make people go, woop woop.
MAN 3: Hey! The amazing new '63--
[WHIPS]
--Wham-O Hula Hoops are here. Get one, get two, get more! It's the new amazing--
[WHIPS]
--Wham-O Hula Hoop.
HOOPIE: Oh, hi! I didn't see you there. The name's Hula McHoop Face, the hula hoop. But you can call me Hoopie. I'm just sifting through old recordings, enjoying a trip down memory lane, starting with the 1950s-- rock and roll, poodle skirts, and me! When I joined the scene at the time, everyone went wild for me-- kids, adults, dogs? Yes, even dogs.
Fast forward to today, and I'm still king. Why don't you roll with me and see how I've stayed on top for the last 70 years? First stop, playground!
[HULA HOOP ROLLING]
Look at this, young people spinning me around their waist, arms, and legs, an explosion of joy they'll never forget. You think a jump rope could do that? It'd probably just trip them.
WOMAN: [SCREAMS]
[THUDS]
I'm OK.
HOOPIE: Oof, the jump rope strikes again. All right, kids. Got to roll! Where? The gym!
[HULA HOOP ROLLING]
All right. Gym enthusiasts, if you're ready for Hoopie's weighted hula hoop workout, can I get a hoop?
GYM ENTHUSIASTS: Hoop!
HOOPIE: There it is. Shake those hips! Wiggle those buns! No offense, jump rope, but I make workouts fun!
GYM ENTHUSIASTS: Hoopla!
HOOPIE: What's that? Time for my circus rehearsal? Ha! Got to roll!
[HULA HOOP ROLLING]
Check it out! An entire circus performing with hoops like me. Just attach them to the ceiling and spin. Wee! Ha ha! Now time for the grand finale. Let's make some magic! [WHIRRING] See, I'm not just a piece of plastic. I'm an icon, spinning joy and creativity into the lives of millions. I'm amazing!
[APPLAUSE]
ANDREW BARBATO: Yes, you are, Hoopie. Wow, that guy's schedule is packed! All I have to do today is destroy the jump rope and prove why the hula hoop deserves to win this debate. Let's start with the joy factor.
Hula hoops make people happy. There's just something magical about spinning a hoop. Whether it's around your waist, your arm, or even your neck, it's pure fun. You look ridiculous doing it, and that's the best part! This joy isn't new. The ancient Greeks used hoops made of dried vines to exercise and play thousands of years ago.
These hoops were often shown in paintings as tools of strength and agility. But hula hoops aren't just toys. They're tools for creativity! We've all had a blast spinning them, but why stop there? Use them as a giant bubble wand. Trace them with chalk to draw the biggest smiley face emoji ever.
You can even use them to win a talent show at the Boys & Girls Club like I did when I was nine years old. True story. I spun hula hoops on my arms and neck while bouncing on a pogo stick while wearing a handmade silky blue outfit. Sound incredible? It was. Just ask my mom.
ANDREW'S MOM: Andrew loved his hula hoop. He was very good at it. He was all dressed, ready to go with his hula hoop and pogo stick. He did a wonderful job. And he was a winner.
ANDREW BARBATO: Oh! Thanks, Mom. 25 years later, I'm still proud of myself for winning. Look, jump ropes are great for jumping! But the hula hoop invites experimentation, imagination, and play. Spin it, twirl it, toss it, step through it and imagine it's a portal into a new dimension.
[SPACE MUSIC]
So I ask you, will you drop that one-trick string you call a jump rope and join the hula hoop revolution? There's still time, because honey, hula hoops aren't going anywhere. They're iconic because they're simple-- no ropes to trip you up, no tongue twister double Dutch chants to remember, no frustration, just a circle that stood the test of time.
Most toys come and go, but the hula hoop is forever. Yes, dear listener, the hula hoop is the cockroach of toys, but in a fun way. And so as the hula hoop spins, it doesn't just create circles. It creates worlds, worlds of joy, creativity, and timeless simplicity. While other toys fray, break, and tangle, the hula hoop keeps spinning through generations, uniting us in laughter and wonder. And it will always keep spinning. Thank you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness! Featured Hoopie and Andrew's mom. Holy cow! Eloise, what stood out to you about this fantastic Declaration of Greatness?
ELOISE: I liked the music at the end because it felt like you watch a movie and then the good part finally happens, and you're like, yes! And the talent show, too, because I did that. I did hula hooping for a talent show.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh!
ELOISE: Oh, the mom part was really sweet that.
JED KIM: We had to cut time of my mom saying that I'm the best.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, I'm so sorry, Jed.
ANDREW BARBATO: Jed, after our last debate, I'm pretty sure your entire family, including your mother, actually sort of just said, I am now her child. So maybe that's what you were getting confused about. [LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, man. Jed, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why the hula hoop is a pile of poopy poop. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
JED KIM: Actually, I'm going to talk more about jump ropes. And I know this is controversial, but I just learned something today. Back in December, an Indiana teenager fell through a frozen pond trying to save his dog. Hypothermia is about to set in. He can't get out. Who comes to the rescue? A professional jump roper.
He inches out to the ice, throws out his 16-foot long double Dutch rope. The kid grabs it. He pulls him to safety, saves his life! If that man had been a professional hula hooper, this would be a much darker story.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
ANDREW BARBATO: Wow. You know what? I'm going to assume that's true.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Eloise, it is time to award some points. Please give 1 point to the Declaration of Greatness you liked best and 1 point to the rebuttal that won you over.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
ELOISE: I think so.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Andrew and Jed, how are you two feeling so far?
ANDREW BARBATO: Wow, I'm feeling really excited right now. I'm feeling a little silly. I'm feeling fun. I'm feeling loosey-goosey, everything that one might feel while hula hooping.
JED KIM: And I'm feeling what Andrew said, but three times that.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
It is time for a quick break. Scoop up your hoop and get a handle on your rope.
ELOISE: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
ANNOUNCER: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Hey Yo, and welcome to the show. I'm Taylor "The Tinkering" Lincoln.
TODD DOUGLAS: And I'm Todd "The Rug" Douglas.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Rug?
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah, I'm plush, comforting, and I like lying on the floor. Plus, I love feet.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You love feet?
TODD DOUGLAS: I do. Think how much they do for you every single day, the burden they carry!
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Are you calling my body a burden?
TODD DOUGLAS: No. But sometimes your feet need a break. Taylor, stop the tinkering. I'm serious. Put down that broken toaster and take a load off.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Todd, are you feeling OK?
TODD DOUGLAS: Maybe, maybe not. But I just heard a doozy of a fallacy-- the enemy of a good argument. And this one is a foot fallacy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Let's hear it.
TODD DOUGLAS: The two voices you're about to hear are my own two feet talking to each other. Hit it. [ROLL STARTS]
LEFT FOOT: Ugh, I have a bunion.
RIGHT FOOT: What's that? Like a toe ring or something? I've always wanted a toe ring with inlaid turquoise. Ah!
LEFT FOOT: No. It's a medical condition.
RIGHT FOOT: What? I've never heard of a bunion before. I've heard Todd talk about onions. He likes to eat them raw, apparently.
LEFT FOOT: A bunion is a painful bump, and it's on the side of my big toe!
RIGHT FOOT: You are toe-tally silly, lefty. Bunions are not a thing.
LEFT FOOT: Just because you haven't heard the word "bunion" doesn't make my pain any less real.
TODD DOUGLAS: Lefty, a.k.a. My left foot is right. My right foot is wrong.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yep. Your right foot used the personal incredulity fallacy. Just because they don't know what a bunion is doesn't mean bunions don't exist.
TODD DOUGLAS: I know my feet have been fighting a lot recently. I need to take them to couples therapy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You do that, Todd. But maybe in the interim, take a nap.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah then my tootsies will get some rest as well. Maybe I'll indulge in my rug-like nature and nap on the floor.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: All right. Well. This has been--
BOTH: State of Debate.
ANNOUNCER: Brains On universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore.
[SPACE SHIP WHOOSHES BY]
ALIEN: Its alien laundry day. While I wash my nose mufflers and tummy togas, I'll listen to a new podcast. Hee, hee, hee! How about [TYPING] Brains On!, my favorite science podcast?
GIRL: So this is Mark's nose?
WOMAN: It's not actually as hairy as I would have thought.
GIRL: Whoa! Check out that big crowd of boogers.
WOMAN: And they're cheering for something.
MAN: Loogies and gentle phlegm, boogs and germs, gather round. Today, we--
ALIEN: Zorp, signal down. Stay right there, tummy togas. Must find Brains On! now.
ANNOUNCER: Listen to Brains On! wherever you get your podcasts.
MAN: Best
MOLLY BLOOM: Boom Smash. Smash Boom
MAN: Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
ELOISE: And I'm your judge, Eloise.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this zesty debate idea from Nyla.
NYLA: Hi, my name is Nyla, and I'm from Tampa, Florida. And my debate idea is lemons versus limes.
ELOISE: Refreshing, bright, aromatic, everything needed for a perfect debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which Nyla thinks should win.
ELOISE: And now it's back to our debate, jump rope versus hula hoop.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right, and it's time for round 2, the--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Micro Round.
MOLLY BLOOM: For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Jed and Andrew the prompt was, "And that's how a blank saved my family." Each debater was asked to write a fictionalized fond memory about the time their side saved their family's lives. Jed went first last time. So, Andrew, you're up. Tell us why hula hoops are so handy.
ANDREW BARBATO: Well, I did the impossible. I focused the chaos that is my family group chat and coordinated a family beach day. The sun was shining. The waves were crashing. And my adorable niece, Samantha, who insists I call her pony, was so excited about the extra large cheese pizza we'd ordered from the Pi Tide Pizzeria.
We'd just spread out the beach blanket when disaster struck. No, not a beach jogger trampling my recreation bust of Nefertiti sand sculpture. Much worse! A rogue seagull swooped down and snatched our entire pizza.
[SEAGULL SQUEAKS]
All eight deliciously cheesy slices and the box. I know it was a surprisingly strong seagull.
SAMANTHA: No!
ANDREW BARBATO: Pony wailed, watching the bird flap away with her pizza. The entire family froze in disbelief. But I didn't walk barefoot on hot sand while carrying two enormous beach chairs, a beach umbrella, and a cooler, all belonging to one of my aunts, just to let this unbelievably beefy seagull ruin our day. No.
I grabbed our trusty hula hoop. Fear not, Sammy-- I mean, Pony, I shouted, spinning the hoop like a Frisbee and launching it into the air. The hoop soared with the precision of a trained Olympian, bonking that incredibly hunky seagull just enough to make it drop the pizza.
[THUD]
[SEAGULL SQUEAKS]
The pizza box tumbled to the sand, slices intact, even better, as they had perfectly cooled in the air on the way down. Pony grabbed her piece of the pie, ran into my arms and said--
SAMANTHA: Uncle Andrew, you're my hero!
ANDREW BARBATO: No, Pony, I'm not the hero. That's Hoopie, the hula hoop.
HOOPIE: Just doing my job. I'm amazing!
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh my gosh. Thank goodness for Hoopie.
ANDREW BARBATO: Yes. And actually me and that seagull are now engaged.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Beautiful.
ANDREW BARBATO: Thank you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Jed, it is your turn. Take us on a journey for jump ropes.
[APPLAUSE]
HOST: Welcome back to another edition of Family Flip Out. Today, we have the Sanchez family and the Kims. As always, both families are sitting in giant catapults that will launch them into space unless they can identify a mystery item from a series of clues. Sanchez family, are you ready?
DAD: You know it.
MOM: Yeah!
GIRL: Oh, yeah.
DAD: Get ready.
MOM: Yes, we are.
HOST: OK. First clue, it's round and fun and makes you wiggle your buns. It's not just a toy. It's the original rump shaker.
DAD: Is it a car?
[BUZZER]
HOST: Oh, that is incorrect. Next clue, you don't have to go to Hawaii to learn this luau dance. This item lets you practice at home.
DAD: I don't know, it could be anything. Pass, pass!
[BUZZER]
HOST: No passing. And also, incorrect. Final clue, it rhymes with "moolah floop."
DAD: This is literally impossible.
HOST: Time's almost up.
DAD: Tandem bicycle?
[BUZZER]
HOST: Oh ho ho! I am so sorry. The answer was hula hoop. Kim family, you're up, and you'd better hop to it because your lives are on the line. First clue--
KIM: Jump rope. It's jump ropes.
HOST: Yes! We have a winner.
[BELL DINGS]
KIM: Yep, boy, we're going to live.
HOST: Amazing! No one's ever won before. Well, that's it for Family Flip Out. See you next time. And remember, family can't drag you down when--
ALL: You're flying through the air.
[APPLAUSE]
MOLLY BLOOM: I love game shows very, very much. That was very exciting. Eloise, what did you like about Jed and Andrew's Micro Rounds?
ELOISE: I liked Andrew's the Pony thing because I feel like little kids always want to feel special like that.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
ELOISE: And in Jed's, I liked the Family Flip Out and then the mystery items.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it is a tough decision, Eloise. But you must award only a single point for this Micro Round. Please award your point, but don't tell us who it's going to.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ELOISE: Alrighty, I think I got it.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Then it's time for our third round, the Super Stealthy Sneak Attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's Sneak Attack is called acrostic. An acrostic is a poem where the first letter of each line spells out a word or a sentence.
Here, we want you to write an acrostic poem for your side, using the eight letters that spell it out. For example, if your side was dog, this might be your acrostic "D," devoted; "O," obedient; "G," good boy. Debaters, does this make sense?
ANDREW BARBATO: Yes.
JED KIM: Yes. Debaters are you ready for your Sneak Attack?
ANDREW BARBATO: Oh, yeah. Let's do this.
JED KIM: Oh, yes. I am hoops and bounds ahead of the game. I'm ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: We're going to start with Jed. Let's hear your acrostic for Team Jump Rope.
JED KIM: Just use more physicality.
[LAUGHTER]
Rebound over puny Earth.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, very nice! Wasn't sure if you were going to get it there, but you did! It was very exciting. Andrew, it's your turn. Let's hear your acrostic for Team Hula Hoop.
ANDREW BARBATO: Hoops ultimately love almost happiness. Only origami, p-- p-- please! If you get it, you get it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. It's poetry.
ELOISE: Yeah.
ANDREW BARBATO: It's poetry after all.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm. Wow. Those were both incredible. Eloise, I do not envy you having to make this decision. But you must award a point for these wonderful acrostics. Think about which side impressed you the most and award your fourth point.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision? [LAUGHS]
ELOISE: It's so hard. You guys are both so good. I think I have. Yes. Yes I have.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. Then it's time for our final round, The Final Six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Andrew, let's hear your six words for the heavenly hula hoop.
ANDREW BARBATO: Hoops twirl. Ropes betray. Choose wisely.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh! Very nice. Jed, it is your turn. Give us your six words for the jaw-dropping jump rope.
JED KIM: Double Dutch literally saved a life.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm, literally. Excellent work, both of you. Eloise, it is time to award a final point for our Final Six.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
ELOISE: Yeah.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Tally up those points, Eloise. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best.
ELOISE: Yes. But I just want to say it's nothing personal. So I don't want you guys to be mad at me for picking one.
MOLLY BLOOM: They're not going to be mad. You are an impartial, fair judge. here to judge them. Drum roll, please. And the winner is--
[DRUM ROLL]
ELOISE: Hula hoop! This is why--
JED KIM: I'm so mad right now!
ANDREW BARBATO: It's hula hoop! And I won this debate. Jed, I will gladly return your family back to you because this is redemption.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh.
JED KIM: Andrew, I will make it my mission in life to show up at your mother's house, spangled out in an elaborate costume, twirling my jump ropes to win her love.
ANDREW BARBATO: She would love it. She would open her door to you any time, Jed. Know that.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, that is it for today's debate. Eloise crowned hula hoop the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?
ELOISE: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On! and APM Studios. It's produced by me, Molly Bloom--
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Derrick Ramirez and Lisa [? Nalbandian ?] with sound design by--
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Shahla Farzan.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: --with fact-checking by--
REBECCA RAND: Rebecca Rand.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
NICO GONZALEZ-WISLER: Nico Gonzalez-Wisler.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On Universe team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie DuPont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Anna Goldfield.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMBERT: Lauren Humbert.
JOSHUA RAY: Joshua Ray.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
- --and--
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: Charlotte Traver.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Jed, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
JED KIM: Yeah, voice acting talents of my entire traitorous family.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Andrew, how about you? Any special shout outs?
ANDREW BARBATO: Absolutely. I am going to give a big shout out to my mom. Her name is Rhonda. And I wanted to just say thank you for-- I'm so happy that she was part of this, that she exists in the Smash Boom Best universe. And it was so sweet to hear her voice. So, Mom, I love you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you, Rhonda. Do you want to give any special thanks or shout outs, Eloise.
ELOISE: Sure. To my mom and my dad for driving me here. To my brother Joey and my sister Maggie and my friends from a class, hi, and my school and my forensics team who helped me with speeches.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very nice. Before we go, let's check in and see who Nyla thinks should win the lemons versus limes debate.
NYLA: I think lemons would win because they're used in more things to help you get over your cold or sickness, such as tea.
ELOISE: Smash Boom Best is a nonprofit public radio program.
MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line. And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube, where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes.
We'll be back next week with a new Smash Boom Best debate battle, clowns versus magicians. Goodbye.
ELOISE: [NON-ENGLISH]
JED KIM: See ya!
ANDREW BARBATO: I'm a winner!
JED KIM: Bye bye.
[THEME SONG]
(SINGING) Ooh, put you through the test
Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, better than the rest
It's Smash Boom Best
It's Smash Boom Best
ELOISE: Can I come to your wedding with a seagull? I'm just kidding.
ANDREW BARBATO: Absolutely. You are completely invited to the wedding, Eloise.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, man.
ELOISE: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a high-energy showdown between two classic playground pastimes, jump rope versus hula hoop. We've got journalist Jed Kim ready to bounce his way to victory for team jump rope.
JED KIM: Jump rope! You're going to hop with excitement at facts.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] And writer and comedian Andrew Barbato is here to spin circles around the competition for team hula hoop.
ANDREW BARBATO: My arguments are about to spin out of control in the best way possible. Go hula hoops!
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Eloise from Hartman, Wisconsin. Eloise loves eating beer cheese soup with croutons, feeding baby birds at her local wildlife rehabilitation center, and she once saved a chipmunk's life! Hi, Eloise.
ELOISE: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Eloise, what is it like to feed baby birds?
ELOISE: It's fun. I mean, they're really tiny and cute.
MOLLY BLOOM: How do you feed them?
ELOISE: Some you need syringes and liquid. Others you feed like insects and stuff like that.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my gosh. Are they cute?
ELOISE: Oh, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh.
ELOISE: They're very cute.
ANDREW BARBATO: Do you give them the beer cheese soup?
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
ELOISE: No.
MOLLY BLOOM: Not suitable for baby birds.
ELOISE: No.
MOLLY BLOOM: Eloise, I feel like you should know that this is a rematch between Jed and Andrew. They have faced off once before.
ANDREW BARBATO: Yes, Yes. And then the votes-- look, there's a lot of statements out there on the internet that you can't always trust. Smash Boom Best is a reputable source, and we should believe them, but there is a pending lawsuit. And we're going to see how that goes.
JED KIM: I won, and it feels real good. But my own family preferred you.
ANDREW BARBATO: Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
JED KIM: I must destroy you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Can Jed win his own family? Only time will tell. But first, here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds-- the declaration of greatness, the micro-round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Eloise, will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. OK. Jed, Andrew, and Eloise, are you ready?
ELOISE: Yeah.
JED KIM: I'm jumping at the bit.
ANDREW BARBATO: I am revolving moving and spinning and shaking, and I am so excited for you, Jed. I would say that jump ropes are cool, but I don't like lying in front of kids.
JED KIM: Hula hoops.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it is time for the--
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin. And Jed, you're up first. Tell us what makes jump ropes so joyful.
SPEAKER 1: Physical education film number seven, Hopped up on Jump Roping.
MAN 1: Hello there, American youths. What are you up to?
CHILD 1: We're building a fallout shelter, sir.
MAN: Sounds fun, but don't forget the importance of bodily rigor. Say, here's a jumping rope.
CHILD 1: Golly!
JED KIM: That's enough of that. Look, I don't need retro propaganda to convince you that jump ropes are infinitely skiptipidibly superior. Reason number one, amazing physical prowess from a piece of cord. Imagine there was a tool that would give you an incredible workout. I'm talking muscle-quivering, lung-screaming, sweat-soaking fitness. And you can store it in a drawer or hang it from a hook. How much would you be willing to pay for this amazing device? 100, 200, 1,000?
Oh, it's like $10, give or take. And I am serious about the health benefits. Scientific studies have shown, jumping rope improves your heart health, endurance, lower and upper body maximal strength-- whatever that means. It's no wonder top athletes like LeBron James incorporate it into their training regimens. Plus, there are so many ways to jump-- just for funsies, speed rope, double unders. That's spinning it twice in one jump.
[JUMP ROPE SWINGING]
Even that crisscross arms thingy.
MAN 2: Ah, nuts.
JED KIM: And then there's the ultimate achievement, the pinnacle of athleticism. I am, of course, referring to that physics-defying magic we know as double dutch! Two people spinning two jump ropes, a maelstrom of whipping fury in which someone jumps-- the danger, the beauty, the incredible rhymes.
CHILDREN: (SINGING) 1, 2, 3, and 59. She's jumping rope and doing pretty fine. Clap, clap. Put it in the trap. How many presents is she going to wrap?
JED KIM: Should I try? Eh. I'm going to do it. No, no, I'm too scared. How do they do that?
CHILDREN: 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
JED KIM: [CLEARS THROAT] Reason number two, jump ropes are super cool, versatility. In a pinch, so many things can be a jump rope-- a clothesline, an extension cord, all of your aunt's necklaces linked together.
And if you do have a jump rope, well, you've got about a thousand tools at your disposal. You could use it to swing across a canyon. It'd have to be a pretty narrow one, but still. You could use it to lasso an evil villain, or stretch it out to trip an evil villain, or tie up the evil villain. It could even be a lead you use to drag said evil villain to justice.
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
REPORTER: How did you save the day?
CHILD 2: I had a jump rope.
[REPORTERS OOHING]
[SHUTTERS CLICKING]
JED KIM: How many different ways can you use a jump rope? Why, that's only as limited as your imagination. My imagination is pretty limited, so let's move on to reason number three-- jump ropes bring people together.
The hula hoop is a novelty that, by its very nature, forces people to keep their distance. When you do it, you're like, oh, oh, don't get too close. You'll ruin my hooping. It's an isolating experience, even more so because, you know, you look silly.
FATHER: Look at me gyrate!
DAUGHTER: Ew, Dad, stop.
JED KIM: That's not the case with a jump rope. A pair of people can jump with a single rope. If you've got three people, easy. Two people twirl, their friend jumps in the middle. Heck, if you do that, you'll soon have a line of friends and neighbors all waiting for their turn to jump in. Plus, oh, man. What if one of them has a second rope? Then we could-- that's right-- double dutch!
CHILDREN: (SINGING) Andy's on the hula hoop, wiggling like he's full of poop.
JED KIM: In conclusion. Boo hula hoops! Hooray jump ropes! I got to go. It's my turn. I'm going for it. Oh! Oh, sorry. Sorry. Let's do it again!
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Jed's going to get that double dutch real soon. I just know it.
JED KIM: Someday!
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, Eloise, what stood out to you about this wonderful declaration of greatness?
ELOISE: I really liked that the end when he tried to jump rope because I tried to jump rope. I feel like him a lot. I can't get over it. But that's OK. I liked the rhymes and all those things with the evil villains.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm.
ELOISE: The music in the beginning, I liked that.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent.
ELOISE: And LeBron James, why not?
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. All right. Andrew, it's time for your rebuttal. Tell us why jump rope should be called dump ropes. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now!
ANDREW BARBATO: Wow. Well, first of all, I'm boiling. I mean, I am boiling. How dare you call the hula hoop a novelty? You know, luckily, you did the work for me, Jed, because every time that you tried to use a jump rope in that declaration of greatness, you were unable to do it. You had to remove yourself. And guess what, maybe you don't have a trauma from gym class, but I certainly do because I'm meant to get tripped up in this rope time and time again. No, absolutely not.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
ANDREW BARBATO: Thank you.
JED KIM: You say that the hula hoop is not a novelty and that I was not able to jump rope? I didn't record myself trying to hula hoop because there would have been so much cussing, and this is a kids podcast.
[LAUGHTER]
ANDREW BARBATO: Oh my gosh.
JED KIM: Hula hoops are impossible and pointless.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right.
ANDREW BARBATO: Wow.
MOLLY BLOOM: Andrew, let's hear your declaration of greatness. Tell us why hula hoops make people go, woop woop.
MAN 3: Hey! The amazing new '63--
[WHIPS]
--Wham-O Hula Hoops are here. Get one, get two, get more! It's the new amazing--
[WHIPS]
--Wham-O Hula Hoop.
HOOPIE: Oh, hi! I didn't see you there. The name's Hula McHoop Face, the hula hoop. But you can call me Hoopie. I'm just sifting through old recordings, enjoying a trip down memory lane, starting with the 1950s-- rock and roll, poodle skirts, and me! When I joined the scene at the time, everyone went wild for me-- kids, adults, dogs? Yes, even dogs.
Fast forward to today, and I'm still king. Why don't you roll with me and see how I've stayed on top for the last 70 years? First stop, playground!
[HULA HOOP ROLLING]
Look at this, young people spinning me around their waist, arms, and legs, an explosion of joy they'll never forget. You think a jump rope could do that? It'd probably just trip them.
WOMAN: [SCREAMS]
[THUDS]
I'm OK.
HOOPIE: Oof, the jump rope strikes again. All right, kids. Got to roll! Where? The gym!
[HULA HOOP ROLLING]
All right. Gym enthusiasts, if you're ready for Hoopie's weighted hula hoop workout, can I get a hoop?
GYM ENTHUSIASTS: Hoop!
HOOPIE: There it is. Shake those hips! Wiggle those buns! No offense, jump rope, but I make workouts fun!
GYM ENTHUSIASTS: Hoopla!
HOOPIE: What's that? Time for my circus rehearsal? Ha! Got to roll!
[HULA HOOP ROLLING]
Check it out! An entire circus performing with hoops like me. Just attach them to the ceiling and spin. Wee! Ha ha! Now time for the grand finale. Let's make some magic! [WHIRRING] See, I'm not just a piece of plastic. I'm an icon, spinning joy and creativity into the lives of millions. I'm amazing!
[APPLAUSE]
ANDREW BARBATO: Yes, you are, Hoopie. Wow, that guy's schedule is packed! All I have to do today is destroy the jump rope and prove why the hula hoop deserves to win this debate. Let's start with the joy factor.
Hula hoops make people happy. There's just something magical about spinning a hoop. Whether it's around your waist, your arm, or even your neck, it's pure fun. You look ridiculous doing it, and that's the best part! This joy isn't new. The ancient Greeks used hoops made of dried vines to exercise and play thousands of years ago.
These hoops were often shown in paintings as tools of strength and agility. But hula hoops aren't just toys. They're tools for creativity! We've all had a blast spinning them, but why stop there? Use them as a giant bubble wand. Trace them with chalk to draw the biggest smiley face emoji ever.
You can even use them to win a talent show at the Boys & Girls Club like I did when I was nine years old. True story. I spun hula hoops on my arms and neck while bouncing on a pogo stick while wearing a handmade silky blue outfit. Sound incredible? It was. Just ask my mom.
ANDREW'S MOM: Andrew loved his hula hoop. He was very good at it. He was all dressed, ready to go with his hula hoop and pogo stick. He did a wonderful job. And he was a winner.
ANDREW BARBATO: Oh! Thanks, Mom. 25 years later, I'm still proud of myself for winning. Look, jump ropes are great for jumping! But the hula hoop invites experimentation, imagination, and play. Spin it, twirl it, toss it, step through it and imagine it's a portal into a new dimension.
[SPACE MUSIC]
So I ask you, will you drop that one-trick string you call a jump rope and join the hula hoop revolution? There's still time, because honey, hula hoops aren't going anywhere. They're iconic because they're simple-- no ropes to trip you up, no tongue twister double Dutch chants to remember, no frustration, just a circle that stood the test of time.
Most toys come and go, but the hula hoop is forever. Yes, dear listener, the hula hoop is the cockroach of toys, but in a fun way. And so as the hula hoop spins, it doesn't just create circles. It creates worlds, worlds of joy, creativity, and timeless simplicity. While other toys fray, break, and tangle, the hula hoop keeps spinning through generations, uniting us in laughter and wonder. And it will always keep spinning. Thank you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness! Featured Hoopie and Andrew's mom. Holy cow! Eloise, what stood out to you about this fantastic Declaration of Greatness?
ELOISE: I liked the music at the end because it felt like you watch a movie and then the good part finally happens, and you're like, yes! And the talent show, too, because I did that. I did hula hooping for a talent show.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh!
ELOISE: Oh, the mom part was really sweet that.
JED KIM: We had to cut time of my mom saying that I'm the best.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, I'm so sorry, Jed.
ANDREW BARBATO: Jed, after our last debate, I'm pretty sure your entire family, including your mother, actually sort of just said, I am now her child. So maybe that's what you were getting confused about. [LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, man. Jed, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why the hula hoop is a pile of poopy poop. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
JED KIM: Actually, I'm going to talk more about jump ropes. And I know this is controversial, but I just learned something today. Back in December, an Indiana teenager fell through a frozen pond trying to save his dog. Hypothermia is about to set in. He can't get out. Who comes to the rescue? A professional jump roper.
He inches out to the ice, throws out his 16-foot long double Dutch rope. The kid grabs it. He pulls him to safety, saves his life! If that man had been a professional hula hooper, this would be a much darker story.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
ANDREW BARBATO: Wow. You know what? I'm going to assume that's true.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Eloise, it is time to award some points. Please give 1 point to the Declaration of Greatness you liked best and 1 point to the rebuttal that won you over.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
ELOISE: I think so.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Andrew and Jed, how are you two feeling so far?
ANDREW BARBATO: Wow, I'm feeling really excited right now. I'm feeling a little silly. I'm feeling fun. I'm feeling loosey-goosey, everything that one might feel while hula hooping.
JED KIM: And I'm feeling what Andrew said, but three times that.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
It is time for a quick break. Scoop up your hoop and get a handle on your rope.
ELOISE: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
ANNOUNCER: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Hey Yo, and welcome to the show. I'm Taylor "The Tinkering" Lincoln.
TODD DOUGLAS: And I'm Todd "The Rug" Douglas.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Rug?
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah, I'm plush, comforting, and I like lying on the floor. Plus, I love feet.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You love feet?
TODD DOUGLAS: I do. Think how much they do for you every single day, the burden they carry!
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Are you calling my body a burden?
TODD DOUGLAS: No. But sometimes your feet need a break. Taylor, stop the tinkering. I'm serious. Put down that broken toaster and take a load off.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Todd, are you feeling OK?
TODD DOUGLAS: Maybe, maybe not. But I just heard a doozy of a fallacy-- the enemy of a good argument. And this one is a foot fallacy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Let's hear it.
TODD DOUGLAS: The two voices you're about to hear are my own two feet talking to each other. Hit it. [ROLL STARTS]
LEFT FOOT: Ugh, I have a bunion.
RIGHT FOOT: What's that? Like a toe ring or something? I've always wanted a toe ring with inlaid turquoise. Ah!
LEFT FOOT: No. It's a medical condition.
RIGHT FOOT: What? I've never heard of a bunion before. I've heard Todd talk about onions. He likes to eat them raw, apparently.
LEFT FOOT: A bunion is a painful bump, and it's on the side of my big toe!
RIGHT FOOT: You are toe-tally silly, lefty. Bunions are not a thing.
LEFT FOOT: Just because you haven't heard the word "bunion" doesn't make my pain any less real.
TODD DOUGLAS: Lefty, a.k.a. My left foot is right. My right foot is wrong.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yep. Your right foot used the personal incredulity fallacy. Just because they don't know what a bunion is doesn't mean bunions don't exist.
TODD DOUGLAS: I know my feet have been fighting a lot recently. I need to take them to couples therapy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You do that, Todd. But maybe in the interim, take a nap.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah then my tootsies will get some rest as well. Maybe I'll indulge in my rug-like nature and nap on the floor.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: All right. Well. This has been--
BOTH: State of Debate.
ANNOUNCER: Brains On universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore.
[SPACE SHIP WHOOSHES BY]
ALIEN: Its alien laundry day. While I wash my nose mufflers and tummy togas, I'll listen to a new podcast. Hee, hee, hee! How about [TYPING] Brains On!, my favorite science podcast?
GIRL: So this is Mark's nose?
WOMAN: It's not actually as hairy as I would have thought.
GIRL: Whoa! Check out that big crowd of boogers.
WOMAN: And they're cheering for something.
MAN: Loogies and gentle phlegm, boogs and germs, gather round. Today, we--
ALIEN: Zorp, signal down. Stay right there, tummy togas. Must find Brains On! now.
ANNOUNCER: Listen to Brains On! wherever you get your podcasts.
MAN: Best
MOLLY BLOOM: Boom Smash. Smash Boom
MAN: Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
ELOISE: And I'm your judge, Eloise.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this zesty debate idea from Nyla.
NYLA: Hi, my name is Nyla, and I'm from Tampa, Florida. And my debate idea is lemons versus limes.
ELOISE: Refreshing, bright, aromatic, everything needed for a perfect debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which Nyla thinks should win.
ELOISE: And now it's back to our debate, jump rope versus hula hoop.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right, and it's time for round 2, the--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Micro Round.
MOLLY BLOOM: For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Jed and Andrew the prompt was, "And that's how a blank saved my family." Each debater was asked to write a fictionalized fond memory about the time their side saved their family's lives. Jed went first last time. So, Andrew, you're up. Tell us why hula hoops are so handy.
ANDREW BARBATO: Well, I did the impossible. I focused the chaos that is my family group chat and coordinated a family beach day. The sun was shining. The waves were crashing. And my adorable niece, Samantha, who insists I call her pony, was so excited about the extra large cheese pizza we'd ordered from the Pi Tide Pizzeria.
We'd just spread out the beach blanket when disaster struck. No, not a beach jogger trampling my recreation bust of Nefertiti sand sculpture. Much worse! A rogue seagull swooped down and snatched our entire pizza.
[SEAGULL SQUEAKS]
All eight deliciously cheesy slices and the box. I know it was a surprisingly strong seagull.
SAMANTHA: No!
ANDREW BARBATO: Pony wailed, watching the bird flap away with her pizza. The entire family froze in disbelief. But I didn't walk barefoot on hot sand while carrying two enormous beach chairs, a beach umbrella, and a cooler, all belonging to one of my aunts, just to let this unbelievably beefy seagull ruin our day. No.
I grabbed our trusty hula hoop. Fear not, Sammy-- I mean, Pony, I shouted, spinning the hoop like a Frisbee and launching it into the air. The hoop soared with the precision of a trained Olympian, bonking that incredibly hunky seagull just enough to make it drop the pizza.
[THUD]
[SEAGULL SQUEAKS]
The pizza box tumbled to the sand, slices intact, even better, as they had perfectly cooled in the air on the way down. Pony grabbed her piece of the pie, ran into my arms and said--
SAMANTHA: Uncle Andrew, you're my hero!
ANDREW BARBATO: No, Pony, I'm not the hero. That's Hoopie, the hula hoop.
HOOPIE: Just doing my job. I'm amazing!
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh my gosh. Thank goodness for Hoopie.
ANDREW BARBATO: Yes. And actually me and that seagull are now engaged.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Beautiful.
ANDREW BARBATO: Thank you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Jed, it is your turn. Take us on a journey for jump ropes.
[APPLAUSE]
HOST: Welcome back to another edition of Family Flip Out. Today, we have the Sanchez family and the Kims. As always, both families are sitting in giant catapults that will launch them into space unless they can identify a mystery item from a series of clues. Sanchez family, are you ready?
DAD: You know it.
MOM: Yeah!
GIRL: Oh, yeah.
DAD: Get ready.
MOM: Yes, we are.
HOST: OK. First clue, it's round and fun and makes you wiggle your buns. It's not just a toy. It's the original rump shaker.
DAD: Is it a car?
[BUZZER]
HOST: Oh, that is incorrect. Next clue, you don't have to go to Hawaii to learn this luau dance. This item lets you practice at home.
DAD: I don't know, it could be anything. Pass, pass!
[BUZZER]
HOST: No passing. And also, incorrect. Final clue, it rhymes with "moolah floop."
DAD: This is literally impossible.
HOST: Time's almost up.
DAD: Tandem bicycle?
[BUZZER]
HOST: Oh ho ho! I am so sorry. The answer was hula hoop. Kim family, you're up, and you'd better hop to it because your lives are on the line. First clue--
KIM: Jump rope. It's jump ropes.
HOST: Yes! We have a winner.
[BELL DINGS]
KIM: Yep, boy, we're going to live.
HOST: Amazing! No one's ever won before. Well, that's it for Family Flip Out. See you next time. And remember, family can't drag you down when--
ALL: You're flying through the air.
[APPLAUSE]
MOLLY BLOOM: I love game shows very, very much. That was very exciting. Eloise, what did you like about Jed and Andrew's Micro Rounds?
ELOISE: I liked Andrew's the Pony thing because I feel like little kids always want to feel special like that.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
ELOISE: And in Jed's, I liked the Family Flip Out and then the mystery items.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it is a tough decision, Eloise. But you must award only a single point for this Micro Round. Please award your point, but don't tell us who it's going to.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ELOISE: Alrighty, I think I got it.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Then it's time for our third round, the Super Stealthy Sneak Attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's Sneak Attack is called acrostic. An acrostic is a poem where the first letter of each line spells out a word or a sentence.
Here, we want you to write an acrostic poem for your side, using the eight letters that spell it out. For example, if your side was dog, this might be your acrostic "D," devoted; "O," obedient; "G," good boy. Debaters, does this make sense?
ANDREW BARBATO: Yes.
JED KIM: Yes. Debaters are you ready for your Sneak Attack?
ANDREW BARBATO: Oh, yeah. Let's do this.
JED KIM: Oh, yes. I am hoops and bounds ahead of the game. I'm ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: We're going to start with Jed. Let's hear your acrostic for Team Jump Rope.
JED KIM: Just use more physicality.
[LAUGHTER]
Rebound over puny Earth.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, very nice! Wasn't sure if you were going to get it there, but you did! It was very exciting. Andrew, it's your turn. Let's hear your acrostic for Team Hula Hoop.
ANDREW BARBATO: Hoops ultimately love almost happiness. Only origami, p-- p-- please! If you get it, you get it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. It's poetry.
ELOISE: Yeah.
ANDREW BARBATO: It's poetry after all.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm. Wow. Those were both incredible. Eloise, I do not envy you having to make this decision. But you must award a point for these wonderful acrostics. Think about which side impressed you the most and award your fourth point.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision? [LAUGHS]
ELOISE: It's so hard. You guys are both so good. I think I have. Yes. Yes I have.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. Then it's time for our final round, The Final Six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Andrew, let's hear your six words for the heavenly hula hoop.
ANDREW BARBATO: Hoops twirl. Ropes betray. Choose wisely.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh! Very nice. Jed, it is your turn. Give us your six words for the jaw-dropping jump rope.
JED KIM: Double Dutch literally saved a life.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm, literally. Excellent work, both of you. Eloise, it is time to award a final point for our Final Six.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
ELOISE: Yeah.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Tally up those points, Eloise. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best.
ELOISE: Yes. But I just want to say it's nothing personal. So I don't want you guys to be mad at me for picking one.
MOLLY BLOOM: They're not going to be mad. You are an impartial, fair judge. here to judge them. Drum roll, please. And the winner is--
[DRUM ROLL]
ELOISE: Hula hoop! This is why--
JED KIM: I'm so mad right now!
ANDREW BARBATO: It's hula hoop! And I won this debate. Jed, I will gladly return your family back to you because this is redemption.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh.
JED KIM: Andrew, I will make it my mission in life to show up at your mother's house, spangled out in an elaborate costume, twirling my jump ropes to win her love.
ANDREW BARBATO: She would love it. She would open her door to you any time, Jed. Know that.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, that is it for today's debate. Eloise crowned hula hoop the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?
ELOISE: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On! and APM Studios. It's produced by me, Molly Bloom--
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Derrick Ramirez and Lisa [? Nalbandian ?] with sound design by--
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Shahla Farzan.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: --with fact-checking by--
REBECCA RAND: Rebecca Rand.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
NICO GONZALEZ-WISLER: Nico Gonzalez-Wisler.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On Universe team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie DuPont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Anna Goldfield.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMBERT: Lauren Humbert.
JOSHUA RAY: Joshua Ray.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
- --and--
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: Charlotte Traver.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Jed, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
JED KIM: Yeah, voice acting talents of my entire traitorous family.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Andrew, how about you? Any special shout outs?
ANDREW BARBATO: Absolutely. I am going to give a big shout out to my mom. Her name is Rhonda. And I wanted to just say thank you for-- I'm so happy that she was part of this, that she exists in the Smash Boom Best universe. And it was so sweet to hear her voice. So, Mom, I love you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you, Rhonda. Do you want to give any special thanks or shout outs, Eloise.
ELOISE: Sure. To my mom and my dad for driving me here. To my brother Joey and my sister Maggie and my friends from a class, hi, and my school and my forensics team who helped me with speeches.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very nice. Before we go, let's check in and see who Nyla thinks should win the lemons versus limes debate.
NYLA: I think lemons would win because they're used in more things to help you get over your cold or sickness, such as tea.
ELOISE: Smash Boom Best is a nonprofit public radio program.
MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line. And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube, where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes.
We'll be back next week with a new Smash Boom Best debate battle, clowns versus magicians. Goodbye.
ELOISE: [NON-ENGLISH]
JED KIM: See ya!
ANDREW BARBATO: I'm a winner!
JED KIM: Bye bye.
[THEME SONG]
(SINGING) Ooh, put you through the test
Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, better than the rest
It's Smash Boom Best
It's Smash Boom Best
ELOISE: Can I come to your wedding with a seagull? I'm just kidding.
ANDREW BARBATO: Absolutely. You are completely invited to the wedding, Eloise.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, man.
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