Today’s debate is full of frights and delights. Grab your popcorn and watch your backs because it’s Ghostbusters vs. Jurassic Park! We’ve got podcast producer Tracy Mumford, ready to take the call for team Ghostbusters, and journalist and author Tom Weber is eager to roar for team Jurassic Park! Vote below for the team YOU think won!
Also… do you have your Smarty Pass yet? Get yours today for just $5/month (or $45/year) and get bonus episodes every month, and ad-free versions of every episode of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Moment of Um and Forever Ago. Visit www.smartypass.org to get your Smarty Pass today. As an added bonus, your Smarty Pass will grant you access to a super special debate starring Sanden and Molly!
Audio Transcript
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ANNOUNCER: From the Brains behind Brains On, it's Smash, Boom, Best.
The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is full of frights and delights. Grab your popcorn and watch your backs because it's Ghostbusters versus Jurassic Park. We've got podcast producer Tracy Mumford ready to take the call for team Ghostbusters.
TRACY MUMFORD: Molly, my hostess with the ghostess. It's so good to be here. I hope everyone's ready to take a roller ghoster ride. Am I right?
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] And we have journalist and author Tom Weber ready to roar for team Jurassic Park.
TOM WEBER: If you're ready for a dinomite debate, then, as they say in the movie, hold on to your butts.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Eleanor from St. Paul, Minnesota. Eleanor is a softball player and a writer. And not only is she an avid debater in her high school debate league, she also judges younger debaters in a middle school debate league. Hi, Eleanor.
ELEANOR: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Eleanor, how did you become a judge for middle school debate?
ELEANOR: I did my first year of high school debate in freshman year. And then I got an email in March from my debate league being like, we please need judges, please come judge.
MOLLY BLOOM: And what about debates like this one? This is probably a little different than the middle school debates, but maybe it's not so different after all.
ELEANOR: Yeah. You're not directly asking each other questions, which is the big difference. But that's usually kind of a mess in middle school debate, so maybe we've dodged a bullet.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. You're also a writer. So tell us, what kind of fiction do you write?
ELEANOR: I like writing fantasy. I'm not very good at it, but we're working on it. That is what matters.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. What kind of stuff do you like to write about?
ELEANOR: I like dragons. I think dragons are super cool. And I kind of just like creating worlds. I think that's super fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: Have you created any dragon characters?
ELEANOR: No.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. So it's time.
ELEANOR: It's time.
MOLLY BLOOM: Maybe today's debate will inspire a dragon character.
ELEANOR: Little step up.
MOLLY BLOOM: So you're a pro debater and judge. What advice do you have for our debaters today?
ELEANOR: Mostly, I have to yell at kids because they're never loud enough, so feel free to yell into the mic.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Any other advice you want to give?
ELEANOR: Be fun. Have fun. Debate is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be boring.
MOLLY BLOOM: We like fun here at Smash Boom Best. Will Eleanor side with Tracy or Tom? Only time will tell. But first, let's review the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds-- the declaration of greatness, the micro-round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Eleanor, will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Tracy, Tom, and Eleanor, are you ready?
TOM WEBER: Oh yeah.
ELEANOR: Yeah.
TRACY MUMFORD: Oh yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the--
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin. And Tracy, you're up first. Tell us why Ghostbusters is the series to call for a haunting good time.
TRACY MUMFORD: OK. So you are on the hunt for an after-school part-time job, and you are looking through all the flyers that they've posted up at the coffee shop. And it's like, dog walker? OK, maybe. Hmm, wait. For 11 dogs?
[DOGS BARKING]
Oh, too much. OK, a car wash assistant. Hmm, too many bubbles. Dress up as a pickle and hand out samples at the grocery store? Ha, not again, Pickle People. Then you see it, the flyer. They are looking for a new Ghostbuster. Are you brave? Check. Do you like to explore the unknown? Uh-huh. Do you want to use the fireman's pole instead of stairs? Always. This is the job for you.
There's one more ad up for an assistant at a dinosaur DNA lab, but it has a big warning sign that all of the previous employees are missing, so not that job. What I'm saying is, you're looking at these options, and which phone number are you going to dial? I guess what I'm saying is, who are you going to call?
SINGERS: Ghostbusters!
["GHOSTBUSTERS" PLAYING]
TRACY MUMFORD: The Ghostbusters are iconic. Their story stretches back to the 1980s when a team of scientists in New York City noticed something strange in their neighborhood. And they banded together to investigate the paranormal and bust some ghosts. And from the very start, they did everything in style. They've got sweet, matching jumpsuits made for comfort and style, complete with the ghosty logo. They carry proton packs on their backs. They're these special machines that fire powerful rays of energy that catch ghosts like a neon lasso.
And don't forget their sweet digs. The Ghostbusters live and work in an old converted firehouse, complete with an actual fireman's pole that they slide down during ghost emergencies. Plus, they cruise around town in the Ectomobile, which is a tricked-out vintage 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteor Sentinel. Mwah, beauty. So they've got wheels, accessories, uniforms, cool headquarters. Check, check, check, check.
Another key thing about being a Ghostbuster, you're never alone. Ghost hunting is a team sport. Someone always has your back.
[SPOOKY MUSIC]
GHOSTBUSTER 1: There's something behind me, isn't there?
GHOSTBUSTER 2: Mm-hmm.
GHOSTBUSTER 1: Is it a very slimy ghost that is kind of dripping on me?
GHOSTBUSTER 2: Yep.
GHOSTBUSTER 1: Could you just--
GHOSTBUSTER 2: Say no more. I got you. You're toasty, ghosty.
TRACY MUMFORD: I got to say, when you look at Jurassic Park, it's a lot harder to form meaningful friendships with people when you're running for your lives from a T-Rex.
[T-REX ROARS]
[QUICK FOOTSTEPS]
CHARACTER 1: Hey, you. You want to see a movie or something?
CHARACTER 2: A movie? All I see are that thing's giant claws. [WHEEZES]
CHARACTER 1: I mean, not now, but I just mean maybe later if we don't get chomped.
[T-REX ROARS]
TRACY MUMFORD: Also, Ghostbusters are using science and research to solve problems, unlike a little franchise I know where they used science to make problems, like some very big problems. Ghostbusters like to nerd out on formulas and experiments and go to the library. And they use everything they learn to solve problems. Giant rivers of slime? Solved it. Haunted portraits? Not a problem. 100-foot tall marshmallow walking around and crushing skyscrapers? The Ghostbusters have it handled. Is there anything better than a group of people who you can call to solve your problems?
And of course, because I think everything should end with a dance party, you have to acknowledge the Ghostbusters theme song. Can you dance to this? You can't not dance to this, but can you dance to this?
["JURASSIC PARK" PLAYING]
Just slowly and not with a lot of feeling. So to fully proton-pack my argument here, they're styling, you're dialing. They fight ghosts. They're good hosts. They're useful. They're crucial. They've never been beaten. They're not being eaten. They've got a good song. I'm not wrong. They're Ghostbusters.
[CHEERING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. A rhyming declaration of greatness that got us all busting a move for Ghostbusters. Eleanor, what stood out to you about Tracy's declaration of greatness?
ELEANOR: I really liked how you talked about how cool they were and how stylish they were and how fun it was to live in their little firehouse. And I liked that you played the theme song so much. I love the theme song.
TRACY MUMFORD: That's right. You're invited over for a dance party. That's what I'm saying.
ELEANOR: Woo.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Tom, it is time for your rebuttal.
TOM WEBER: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: You've got 30 seconds to tell us why Ghostbusters is a feeble franchise. And your time starts now.
TOM WEBER: Well, my music rebuttal is coming, so stay tuned on that. I want to point out that the science of why the proton stuff actually catches ghosts was never actually fully explained, unlike the science in Jurassic Park-- also, stay tuned. I also just want to point out something Tracy didn't bring up. The first Ghostbusters movie, 1984, and it wasn't until 2016, 22 years later, that they finally decided to have women Ghostbusters. So I'm seeing some ghostbusting equality problems in the franchise that I think really need to come to light.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. Tracy, anything you'd like to say?
TRACY MUMFORD: I'll just say, I hear a lot of jealousy in that voice, I don't know, and someone who doesn't understand ghosts theorems. But go on, go on.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Tom, it is your turn. Please tell us why Jurassic Park is a dino delight.
[GUITAR STRUMMING]
TOM WEBER: Usually, I type my arguments myself. But after three hours of button mashing the wildly popular Jurassic Park arcade game, my thumbs are sore, so I'm dictating to my new AI assistant.
[T-REX ROARS]
I should clarify, I don't mean I like artificial intelligence. I mean ancient intelligence. My assistant is a T-Rex!
[TYPING]
[T-REX GROANING]
And in retrospect, asking an animal with notoriously short arms to use a keyboard might not have been the best idea. But you know what? I don't need fancy typing to make my case. I have living proof right here, a T-Rex in the flesh.
[T-REX ROARS]
Down, girl. Down, girl. You'll get your meaty num nums in a minute. My point is, Jurassic Park wows us because we get to see the most epic creatures ever come to life. I remember being a kid seeing the original movie with my grandma. Seeing Jurassic Park makes you think, wow, these amazing dinos really walked the Earth! Nature is full of wonder. Meanwhile, the rubbery-looking ghouls in Ghostbusters make you think, wow, was this ticket really worth $15?
And there's a reason why the dinos in Jurassic Park look so realistic. Most of the jaw-dropping special effects were computer generated images or CGI. In fact, the first Jurassic Park helped develop this technology and introduced us to a whole new era of movie magic. Every CGI movie from the Avengers to Avatar owes a debt to Jurassic Park.
Ironically, it's the special effects in Ghostbusters that are prehistoric in comparison. After all, the first Ghostbusters movie came out almost 10 years before Jurassic Park. That's the cinematic dinosaur.
[T-REX LAUGHS]
Thanks. It was a sick burn. And unlike Ghostbusters, Jurassic Park is based on real science. In the movies, scientists use DNA from ancient dino blood to recreate these magnificent creatures. Well, scientists are actually doing this kind of thing but not to bring back dinosaurs. Instead, they're using it to help build up populations of endangered species. And some researchers are hoping to bring back the woolly mammoths.
[MAMMOTH TRUMPETS]
The only thing Ghostbusters is bringing back are the careers of washed-up '80s actors. Now, those are dinosaurs I don't want to bring back.
[DEFEAT SOUND]
And if you need even more reasons to love this movie, the first Jurassic Park was so inspiring that it led to a boom in people studying dinosaurs. Some researchers say that's why in recent years, we've been discovering tons of new dinosaurs, about one every week. And on a side note, how fun would it to be friends with real dinosaurs like Chris Pratt is with those Velociraptors in Jurassic World? Way cooler than being friends with some booger ghost like Slimer.
[T-REX ROARS]
Oh, right. I should mention the soundtrack. You know the one.
["JURASSIC PARK" PLAYING]
Chills. That is the handiwork of composer John Williams, the genius behind the music of Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, Jaws, and ET. Sure, Ghostbusters had a silly novelty song that's fun around Halloween, but try listening to it more than once without wanting to shove Stay Puft Marshmallows in your ears. Meanwhile, I could play the Jurassic Park soundtrack all day.
GHOST: But Tom, you're forgetting the best part of Ghostbusters-- the ghosts, like me. Boo.
TOM WEBER: I'm sorry. What?
GHOST: Yes. People love scares. And nothing scares like a ghost.
[T-REX RUMBLING]
Is that a Tyrannos-- s-- s-- saurus? [GULPS]
[T-REX ROARS]
Ah! Get me out of here. [MOANS]
TOM WEBER: See? You don't need glorified exterminators to bust ghosts. Jurassic Park gave us CGI, some awesome real science, amazing music, and the fright of our lives. What more could you ask for?
[T-REX GROANS]
Oh, right, meaty num nums. Here you go, T-Rex. Yes, who's a good T-Rex? Yes, you are. Oh, ho ho, watch the fingers. Those aren't snacks. Here's some more steak. Yes, yes, you deserve it. Very good.
[T-REX GRUMBLES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Tom sounding sharp with his T-Rex hype person, hype creature. Eleanor, what's stood out to you about Tom's declaration of greatness?
ELEANOR: I didn't know that Jurassic Park was the reason we have CGI the way we do now. And I think I need a dino AI for myself.
MOLLY BLOOM: Absolutely.
TOM WEBER: I agree.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Tracy. It is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why Jurassic Park puts the stink in extinct. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
TRACY MUMFORD: Look, Tomasaurus Rex. Can I call you that? Yeah? OK. I am very glad that they let you off your island. That's a big step. And you know what? Dinosaurs are cool. I'm not going to argue with that. Bring them back to life so I can see them even cooler. But you know, what Jurassic Park did was a huge accident. They keep doing it in every sequel. I'm just for responsible dinosaur science. Don't let them out.
Jurassic Park is supposed to be a cool island to visit. And instead, people are running for their lives. It's like if you went to Disneyland, and the teacup ride tried to eat you.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
TRACY MUMFORD: That's not the vacation I'm looking for!
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
TOM WEBER: Look, I know people sometimes can see ghosts, sometimes can't. But you can see a dinosaur every day of your life. They're called birds. And so they are here, they are with us, and we love them. And I seem to recall some people running for their lives with a Stay Puft Marshmallow.
TRACY MUMFORD: What happens when you're the meaty num nums, Tom? That's just what I want to know.
TOM WEBER: It's all about charming them. They have great personalities.
TRACY MUMFORD: They almost took your fingers. That was on tape. That was on tape.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Eleanor, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness you liked best and then one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you laugh? Was another team's argument unbeatable? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?
ELEANOR: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Tom and Tracy, how are you two feeling so far?
TOM WEBER: Dinorific.
TRACY MUMFORD: Amped up.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. It's time for a quick break. Grab some popcorn and take a quick rest.
ELEANOR: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
ANNOUNCER: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Meow. That's cat for, hello. I'm Taylor Lincoln, debate maven and cat person.
TODD DOUGLAS: Woof woof. That's dog for, feed me. And I'm Todd Douglas, the dog dude and debate powerhouse.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: And we're here at our local animal shelter to cuddle some canines and kitty cuties.
TODD DOUGLAS: And catch some logical fallacies with our claws and paws.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Logical fallacies are uncool debate techniques that help you lose your debates. And I just snagged a nasty one. Want to hear it?
TODD DOUGLAS: [HOWLS] That's dog for, of course. Let's listen in and see what the cat dragged in.
[KITTENS MEOWING]
WOMAN: Aw. Look at these little kittens in need of a home. What do you think, Amos? Should I adopt one?
AMOS: Meh.
WOMAN: Aren't they adorable? Listen to their little meows.
AMOS: I don't really like cats.
WOMAN: Wait. What? Why? And why didn't you put that on your dating profile?
AMOS: I don't know. I just think that they're mean.
WOMAN: How so? Because they can scratch and bite? Dogs can also scratch and bite.
[KITTEN MEOWS, PURRS]
Aw. This little furball seems to love the way I'm petting him.
AMOS: They're mean because-- they're just not nice to people.
[BUZZER]
TODD DOUGLAS: Cats are mean because they're not nice to people?
TAYLOR LINCOLN: And they're not nice to people because they're mean?
TODD DOUGLAS: Our friend just said the same thing twice. That argument didn't take us anywhere.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: And that's because it was a circular argument fallacy. That's when a debater ends their point with the argument they started with. It's an argument that goes around in circles.
TODD DOUGLAS: Like a dog chasing its tail. Our friend Amos needs to come up with some fresh ideas about why cats are mean.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Which is a losing argument anyway.
TODD DOUGLAS: I don't, Taylor. I've had a few gnarly run-ins with my neighbor's cat, Sausalito.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Watch it, Todd. My claws are coming out.
TODD DOUGLAS: To quote the great Scooby-Doo, [BARKS].
TAYLOR LINCOLN: [HISSES]
TODD DOUGLAS: [SCREAMS] We'll see you next time on--
TAYLOR AND TODD: State of Debate.
SPEAKER 1: Brains On universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, we know you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on. Let's explore.
COMPUTER: Here we are in Brains On universe, home to my favorite podcasts-- Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Forever Ago. [GASPS] I found one.
SINGERS: Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, Brains On.
COMPUTER: Brains On, a science podcast for kids and family.
[BEEPS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Let's start with our pal, the sun.
SUN: Did somebody call their favorite star? It's me, the sun.
MOLLY BLOOM: The sun is made up of very, very hot electrons.
[BUZZER]
COMPUTER: [GASPS] Ah, what a great show.
[BEEPS]
Need more Brains On now!
[EXPLODES]
SPEAKER 1: Listen to Brains On wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 2: Smash.
SPEAKER 3: Boom.
SPEAKER 4: Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
ELEANOR: And I'm your judge, Eleanor.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this ancient debate idea from Gayel.
GAYEL: Hi, I'm Gayel, and I'm from Australia. My debate idea is Romans versus Vikings.
ELEANOR: Now, that's a debate for the history books.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Gayel thinks should win.
ELEANOR: And now it's back to a debate, Ghostbusters versus Jurassic Park.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the--
ANNOUNCER: Micro-round.
MOLLY BLOOM: For the micro-round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Tracy and Tom, the prompt was baddy reputation. In this challenge, a villain from a debater's movie needs to clear their reputation. They want to set the record straight about how they're really not that bad. Will they redeem themselves? It's up to our debaters to decide. Tracy went first last time, so, Tom, you're up. Tell us why we shouldn't judge the baddies of Jurassic Park.
VELOCIRAPTOR: Hello. It's me, the velociraptor from Jurassic Park. You're surprised I can talk? Well, let's be honest. There's a lot about me that isn't exactly accurate, like how I'm a big, scaly movie monster, when in reality, real Velociraptors were the size of mini poodles and covered in feathers. I've got a bone to pick with you humans. And yes, I mean a femur. Mm, delicious.
You made me out to be the villain, but was I really? It was who brought me back from my nice, peaceful extinction. It was you who stuck me on an island of slow, dimwitted meals-- people. You knew I was a hunter. You even called me clever girl. This is on you.
In the first movie, you made me out to be a baddie for hunting people in a kitchen. But if I wasn't supposed to eat them, what were they doing in the kitchen? It's the place for snacks. Plus, I have a very high metabolism, and I need to eat all the time. People think I'm terrifying, but I'm really just hangry.
In conclusion, I was doing what I do best, hunting and snacking. You humans are the one who should be apologizing to me. Now, are you going to finish that? Oh, oh, it's your arm. Oh. Oh, and it's still attached to you. OK. Well, fine. I guess sharing is another thing you humans are bad at.
ELEANOR: Sharing is caring.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly. All right, Tracy, now it's your turn. Show us why we shouldn't judge a ghoul by its cover.
STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW: Hi. I'm a Stay Puft Marshmallow. And I'm so tall. But who doesn't love marshmallow? Just because I'm big and sometimes step on cars and buildings?
[CRASHES]
Oops. Marshmallow's so big. But inside, I am soft, squishy, not villain. I come to New York and want to say hi. But when I see people, I--
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
[GLASS BREAKING]
Oops. I am not big hungry reptile built to snack on you. I am snack, just big snack. And I want to hug. But sometimes I crush.
[MAN SCREAMING]
[CRASHES]
Oops. Wait. Do not run away. We could make s'mores.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
All right. Eleanor, what did you like about Tracy and Tom's micro-rounds?
ELEANOR: I thought the accents were awesome. And I think you both do a good job explaining why they're so misunderstood.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's tough. It's tough to be a villain.
TRACY MUMFORD: But it's soft to be a marshmallow.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] All right. Eleanor, it is time to award a point to one of these misunderstood villains. The criteria is completely subjective and completely up to you. Did someone make you laugh? Did someone make you think? Did someone make you rethink? Have you made your decision?
ELEANOR: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third round, the super stealthy--
[CHANTING]
ANNOUNCER: Sneak attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called Greeting Card. Tom and Tracy, you have to write the message in a pretend greeting card based on your side. You have to write messages for three different holidays, but they can be any occasion you choose-- a birthday, anniversary, grandparents day, whatever you want as long as the message relates to your side.
We'll volley back and forth for three rounds. Tom went first last time, so, Tracy, you're up. Read me a Ghostbuster greeting card for an auspicious occasion.
TRACY MUMFORD: This one's a no-brainer. "Happy Halloween. Booyah! Why be normal when you can be paranormal?"
MOLLY BLOOM: Ugh. I'm going to give that to all my friends this October. I can't wait. OK, Tom, it is your turn. Give me a Jurassic Park greeting card perfect for the holidays.
TOM WEBER: Front cover, "Get well soon!" Inside cover, "Sorry I ate your leg."
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
TOM WEBER: Tommy T-Rex.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very specific.
TRACY MUMFORD: Admitting to the dangers yet again.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] All right, Tracy, let's hear your second greeting card.
TRACY MUMFORD: This is for Merry Bustin' Day. It's a new holiday devoted to bustin' people's problems.
TOM WEBER: Hmm. OK.
TRACY MUMFORD: And you give someone that card when you feel like maybe they have a problem they could use your help with. Merry Bustin' Day. September 9.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] OK, Tom, what is your next greeting card?
TOM WEBER: Outside cover, "Happy Mother's Day to a great Stegosaurus." Inside, "Mom, your back scales and tail spikes always protected me. Thanks for being awesome."
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw, so beautiful. All right, Tracy, let's hear your final Ghostbusters greeting card.
TRACY MUMFORD: "Happy birthday. You get even more birthdays when you're a ghost."
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Infinite birthdays! OK, Tom, let's hear your last Jurassic Park greeting card.
TOM WEBER: "Happy Valentine's Day. May our love be as strong as the pressure of a Triceratops's impaling."
[LAUGHTER]
TRACY MUMFORD: That is not romance, Tom.
TOM WEBER: It's romantic.
MOLLY BLOOM: Romance. [LAUGHS]
ELEANOR: Romance in the air.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Amazing. Incredible cards all around. I can't wait to buy them and hand them out to all my friends. But Eleanor, only one of these teams can get a point for this round. Criteria are totally subjective, totally up to you. Have you made your decision?
ELEANOR: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Then it's time for our final round.
ANNOUNCER: The final six.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Tom, let's hear your six words for Jurassic Park.
TOM WEBER: J-Par inspired science movies and music.
MOLLY BLOOM: J-Par.
[LAUGHTER]
TOM WEBER: I have six words. I had to do. J-Par.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wait is J-Par one word?
TOM WEBER: That's one word.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. I love that. It's like J.Lo--
TOM WEBER: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: --but Jurassic Park.
TOM WEBER: It's the next big thing.
TRACY MUMFORD: It's what the cool kids call it.
ELEANOR: The next it girl.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, exactly. All right. Tracy, it's your turn. Give us your six words for Ghostbusters.
TRACY MUMFORD: These are my six words. [HUMMING]
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
TRACY MUMFORD: That's it. Six words.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh, incredible. All right, two final sixes here to really make you think, but only one of them can get your final point. Eleanor, have you made your decision?
ELEANOR: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
ELEANOR: Uh, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Drum roll, please.
[DRUM ROLL]
And the winner is--
ELEANOR: Jurassic Park.
TOM WEBER: Yay!
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness. Eleanor, what was your favorite part of the debate?
ELEANOR: I really liked the sneak attack. I thought the cards were super funny. And I always liked a new holiday.
TOM WEBER: So I, having watched the original Ghostbusters movie-- and it has been a minute, but it's seared-- I never really realized that I didn't know the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man until I heard Tracy's rendition, I guess we would say. And so I really feel a deeper connection to the movie and the franchise. And for that, Tracy, I'm grateful.
TRACY MUMFORD: Thank you, Tom. I just want to say, dinosaurs are cool. I would go to Jurassic Park on vacation when they got their safety record back where I need it to be. I'm not opposed to it. So happy to have you win. And maybe they can just work on their brochure, and we can all go there.
ELEANOR: Once they get OSHA-approved.
TRACY MUMFORD: Exactly. Once the lawsuits are settled, it's going to be great.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's going to be so fun. Well, that's it for today's debate battle. Eleanor crowned team Jurassic Park the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
ELEANOR: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios. It's produced by--
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Alex Simpson, with sound design by Aron Woldeslassie. Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Shahla Farzan.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On universe team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie Dupont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Anna Goldfield.
NICO GONZALEZ WISLER: Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMPERT: Lauren Humpert.
JESS MILLER: Jess Miller.
JOSHUA RAY: Joshua Ray.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: Charlotte Traver.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios executives-in-charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Tracy, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout-out to today?
TRACY MUMFORD: I just want to thank my cat, Gogo. She's always down to watch Ghostbusters, never complains. So Gogo, this one was for you.
ELEANOR: We love you, Gogo.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Tom? Any special shout-outs?
TOM WEBER: To my parents and anyone who bought me dinosaur books when I was a kid.
MOLLY BLOOM: Beautiful. And how about you, Eleanor? Any special thanks or shout-outs?
ELEANOR: The kids on my block who are going to listen to this. Hi, Willow, Lenny, and Elliot.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yay! Before we go, let's check in and see who Gayel thinks should win the Vikings versus Romans debate.
GAYEL: Vikings should win because the Vikings defeated the Romans.
MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down, drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line. And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with an extra special Smash Boom Best debate battle next week. It's Jack and the Beanstalk versus The Ugly Duckling. Bye-bye!
ELEANOR: See you.
TOM WEBER: Dinosaur roar goodbye.
TRACY MUMFORD: Going to ghost you now.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, put it through the test
Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, better than the rest
It's a Smash Boom Best
It's a Smash Boom Best
TOM WEBER: Aww.
[LAUGHTER]
The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is full of frights and delights. Grab your popcorn and watch your backs because it's Ghostbusters versus Jurassic Park. We've got podcast producer Tracy Mumford ready to take the call for team Ghostbusters.
TRACY MUMFORD: Molly, my hostess with the ghostess. It's so good to be here. I hope everyone's ready to take a roller ghoster ride. Am I right?
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] And we have journalist and author Tom Weber ready to roar for team Jurassic Park.
TOM WEBER: If you're ready for a dinomite debate, then, as they say in the movie, hold on to your butts.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Eleanor from St. Paul, Minnesota. Eleanor is a softball player and a writer. And not only is she an avid debater in her high school debate league, she also judges younger debaters in a middle school debate league. Hi, Eleanor.
ELEANOR: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Eleanor, how did you become a judge for middle school debate?
ELEANOR: I did my first year of high school debate in freshman year. And then I got an email in March from my debate league being like, we please need judges, please come judge.
MOLLY BLOOM: And what about debates like this one? This is probably a little different than the middle school debates, but maybe it's not so different after all.
ELEANOR: Yeah. You're not directly asking each other questions, which is the big difference. But that's usually kind of a mess in middle school debate, so maybe we've dodged a bullet.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. You're also a writer. So tell us, what kind of fiction do you write?
ELEANOR: I like writing fantasy. I'm not very good at it, but we're working on it. That is what matters.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. What kind of stuff do you like to write about?
ELEANOR: I like dragons. I think dragons are super cool. And I kind of just like creating worlds. I think that's super fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: Have you created any dragon characters?
ELEANOR: No.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. So it's time.
ELEANOR: It's time.
MOLLY BLOOM: Maybe today's debate will inspire a dragon character.
ELEANOR: Little step up.
MOLLY BLOOM: So you're a pro debater and judge. What advice do you have for our debaters today?
ELEANOR: Mostly, I have to yell at kids because they're never loud enough, so feel free to yell into the mic.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Any other advice you want to give?
ELEANOR: Be fun. Have fun. Debate is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be boring.
MOLLY BLOOM: We like fun here at Smash Boom Best. Will Eleanor side with Tracy or Tom? Only time will tell. But first, let's review the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds-- the declaration of greatness, the micro-round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Eleanor, will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Tracy, Tom, and Eleanor, are you ready?
TOM WEBER: Oh yeah.
ELEANOR: Yeah.
TRACY MUMFORD: Oh yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the--
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin. And Tracy, you're up first. Tell us why Ghostbusters is the series to call for a haunting good time.
TRACY MUMFORD: OK. So you are on the hunt for an after-school part-time job, and you are looking through all the flyers that they've posted up at the coffee shop. And it's like, dog walker? OK, maybe. Hmm, wait. For 11 dogs?
[DOGS BARKING]
Oh, too much. OK, a car wash assistant. Hmm, too many bubbles. Dress up as a pickle and hand out samples at the grocery store? Ha, not again, Pickle People. Then you see it, the flyer. They are looking for a new Ghostbuster. Are you brave? Check. Do you like to explore the unknown? Uh-huh. Do you want to use the fireman's pole instead of stairs? Always. This is the job for you.
There's one more ad up for an assistant at a dinosaur DNA lab, but it has a big warning sign that all of the previous employees are missing, so not that job. What I'm saying is, you're looking at these options, and which phone number are you going to dial? I guess what I'm saying is, who are you going to call?
SINGERS: Ghostbusters!
["GHOSTBUSTERS" PLAYING]
TRACY MUMFORD: The Ghostbusters are iconic. Their story stretches back to the 1980s when a team of scientists in New York City noticed something strange in their neighborhood. And they banded together to investigate the paranormal and bust some ghosts. And from the very start, they did everything in style. They've got sweet, matching jumpsuits made for comfort and style, complete with the ghosty logo. They carry proton packs on their backs. They're these special machines that fire powerful rays of energy that catch ghosts like a neon lasso.
And don't forget their sweet digs. The Ghostbusters live and work in an old converted firehouse, complete with an actual fireman's pole that they slide down during ghost emergencies. Plus, they cruise around town in the Ectomobile, which is a tricked-out vintage 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteor Sentinel. Mwah, beauty. So they've got wheels, accessories, uniforms, cool headquarters. Check, check, check, check.
Another key thing about being a Ghostbuster, you're never alone. Ghost hunting is a team sport. Someone always has your back.
[SPOOKY MUSIC]
GHOSTBUSTER 1: There's something behind me, isn't there?
GHOSTBUSTER 2: Mm-hmm.
GHOSTBUSTER 1: Is it a very slimy ghost that is kind of dripping on me?
GHOSTBUSTER 2: Yep.
GHOSTBUSTER 1: Could you just--
GHOSTBUSTER 2: Say no more. I got you. You're toasty, ghosty.
TRACY MUMFORD: I got to say, when you look at Jurassic Park, it's a lot harder to form meaningful friendships with people when you're running for your lives from a T-Rex.
[T-REX ROARS]
[QUICK FOOTSTEPS]
CHARACTER 1: Hey, you. You want to see a movie or something?
CHARACTER 2: A movie? All I see are that thing's giant claws. [WHEEZES]
CHARACTER 1: I mean, not now, but I just mean maybe later if we don't get chomped.
[T-REX ROARS]
TRACY MUMFORD: Also, Ghostbusters are using science and research to solve problems, unlike a little franchise I know where they used science to make problems, like some very big problems. Ghostbusters like to nerd out on formulas and experiments and go to the library. And they use everything they learn to solve problems. Giant rivers of slime? Solved it. Haunted portraits? Not a problem. 100-foot tall marshmallow walking around and crushing skyscrapers? The Ghostbusters have it handled. Is there anything better than a group of people who you can call to solve your problems?
And of course, because I think everything should end with a dance party, you have to acknowledge the Ghostbusters theme song. Can you dance to this? You can't not dance to this, but can you dance to this?
["JURASSIC PARK" PLAYING]
Just slowly and not with a lot of feeling. So to fully proton-pack my argument here, they're styling, you're dialing. They fight ghosts. They're good hosts. They're useful. They're crucial. They've never been beaten. They're not being eaten. They've got a good song. I'm not wrong. They're Ghostbusters.
[CHEERING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. A rhyming declaration of greatness that got us all busting a move for Ghostbusters. Eleanor, what stood out to you about Tracy's declaration of greatness?
ELEANOR: I really liked how you talked about how cool they were and how stylish they were and how fun it was to live in their little firehouse. And I liked that you played the theme song so much. I love the theme song.
TRACY MUMFORD: That's right. You're invited over for a dance party. That's what I'm saying.
ELEANOR: Woo.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Tom, it is time for your rebuttal.
TOM WEBER: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: You've got 30 seconds to tell us why Ghostbusters is a feeble franchise. And your time starts now.
TOM WEBER: Well, my music rebuttal is coming, so stay tuned on that. I want to point out that the science of why the proton stuff actually catches ghosts was never actually fully explained, unlike the science in Jurassic Park-- also, stay tuned. I also just want to point out something Tracy didn't bring up. The first Ghostbusters movie, 1984, and it wasn't until 2016, 22 years later, that they finally decided to have women Ghostbusters. So I'm seeing some ghostbusting equality problems in the franchise that I think really need to come to light.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. Tracy, anything you'd like to say?
TRACY MUMFORD: I'll just say, I hear a lot of jealousy in that voice, I don't know, and someone who doesn't understand ghosts theorems. But go on, go on.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Tom, it is your turn. Please tell us why Jurassic Park is a dino delight.
[GUITAR STRUMMING]
TOM WEBER: Usually, I type my arguments myself. But after three hours of button mashing the wildly popular Jurassic Park arcade game, my thumbs are sore, so I'm dictating to my new AI assistant.
[T-REX ROARS]
I should clarify, I don't mean I like artificial intelligence. I mean ancient intelligence. My assistant is a T-Rex!
[TYPING]
[T-REX GROANING]
And in retrospect, asking an animal with notoriously short arms to use a keyboard might not have been the best idea. But you know what? I don't need fancy typing to make my case. I have living proof right here, a T-Rex in the flesh.
[T-REX ROARS]
Down, girl. Down, girl. You'll get your meaty num nums in a minute. My point is, Jurassic Park wows us because we get to see the most epic creatures ever come to life. I remember being a kid seeing the original movie with my grandma. Seeing Jurassic Park makes you think, wow, these amazing dinos really walked the Earth! Nature is full of wonder. Meanwhile, the rubbery-looking ghouls in Ghostbusters make you think, wow, was this ticket really worth $15?
And there's a reason why the dinos in Jurassic Park look so realistic. Most of the jaw-dropping special effects were computer generated images or CGI. In fact, the first Jurassic Park helped develop this technology and introduced us to a whole new era of movie magic. Every CGI movie from the Avengers to Avatar owes a debt to Jurassic Park.
Ironically, it's the special effects in Ghostbusters that are prehistoric in comparison. After all, the first Ghostbusters movie came out almost 10 years before Jurassic Park. That's the cinematic dinosaur.
[T-REX LAUGHS]
Thanks. It was a sick burn. And unlike Ghostbusters, Jurassic Park is based on real science. In the movies, scientists use DNA from ancient dino blood to recreate these magnificent creatures. Well, scientists are actually doing this kind of thing but not to bring back dinosaurs. Instead, they're using it to help build up populations of endangered species. And some researchers are hoping to bring back the woolly mammoths.
[MAMMOTH TRUMPETS]
The only thing Ghostbusters is bringing back are the careers of washed-up '80s actors. Now, those are dinosaurs I don't want to bring back.
[DEFEAT SOUND]
And if you need even more reasons to love this movie, the first Jurassic Park was so inspiring that it led to a boom in people studying dinosaurs. Some researchers say that's why in recent years, we've been discovering tons of new dinosaurs, about one every week. And on a side note, how fun would it to be friends with real dinosaurs like Chris Pratt is with those Velociraptors in Jurassic World? Way cooler than being friends with some booger ghost like Slimer.
[T-REX ROARS]
Oh, right. I should mention the soundtrack. You know the one.
["JURASSIC PARK" PLAYING]
Chills. That is the handiwork of composer John Williams, the genius behind the music of Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, Jaws, and ET. Sure, Ghostbusters had a silly novelty song that's fun around Halloween, but try listening to it more than once without wanting to shove Stay Puft Marshmallows in your ears. Meanwhile, I could play the Jurassic Park soundtrack all day.
GHOST: But Tom, you're forgetting the best part of Ghostbusters-- the ghosts, like me. Boo.
TOM WEBER: I'm sorry. What?
GHOST: Yes. People love scares. And nothing scares like a ghost.
[T-REX RUMBLING]
Is that a Tyrannos-- s-- s-- saurus? [GULPS]
[T-REX ROARS]
Ah! Get me out of here. [MOANS]
TOM WEBER: See? You don't need glorified exterminators to bust ghosts. Jurassic Park gave us CGI, some awesome real science, amazing music, and the fright of our lives. What more could you ask for?
[T-REX GROANS]
Oh, right, meaty num nums. Here you go, T-Rex. Yes, who's a good T-Rex? Yes, you are. Oh, ho ho, watch the fingers. Those aren't snacks. Here's some more steak. Yes, yes, you deserve it. Very good.
[T-REX GRUMBLES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Tom sounding sharp with his T-Rex hype person, hype creature. Eleanor, what's stood out to you about Tom's declaration of greatness?
ELEANOR: I didn't know that Jurassic Park was the reason we have CGI the way we do now. And I think I need a dino AI for myself.
MOLLY BLOOM: Absolutely.
TOM WEBER: I agree.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Tracy. It is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why Jurassic Park puts the stink in extinct. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
TRACY MUMFORD: Look, Tomasaurus Rex. Can I call you that? Yeah? OK. I am very glad that they let you off your island. That's a big step. And you know what? Dinosaurs are cool. I'm not going to argue with that. Bring them back to life so I can see them even cooler. But you know, what Jurassic Park did was a huge accident. They keep doing it in every sequel. I'm just for responsible dinosaur science. Don't let them out.
Jurassic Park is supposed to be a cool island to visit. And instead, people are running for their lives. It's like if you went to Disneyland, and the teacup ride tried to eat you.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
TRACY MUMFORD: That's not the vacation I'm looking for!
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
TOM WEBER: Look, I know people sometimes can see ghosts, sometimes can't. But you can see a dinosaur every day of your life. They're called birds. And so they are here, they are with us, and we love them. And I seem to recall some people running for their lives with a Stay Puft Marshmallow.
TRACY MUMFORD: What happens when you're the meaty num nums, Tom? That's just what I want to know.
TOM WEBER: It's all about charming them. They have great personalities.
TRACY MUMFORD: They almost took your fingers. That was on tape. That was on tape.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Eleanor, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness you liked best and then one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you laugh? Was another team's argument unbeatable? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?
ELEANOR: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Tom and Tracy, how are you two feeling so far?
TOM WEBER: Dinorific.
TRACY MUMFORD: Amped up.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. It's time for a quick break. Grab some popcorn and take a quick rest.
ELEANOR: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
ANNOUNCER: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Meow. That's cat for, hello. I'm Taylor Lincoln, debate maven and cat person.
TODD DOUGLAS: Woof woof. That's dog for, feed me. And I'm Todd Douglas, the dog dude and debate powerhouse.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: And we're here at our local animal shelter to cuddle some canines and kitty cuties.
TODD DOUGLAS: And catch some logical fallacies with our claws and paws.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Logical fallacies are uncool debate techniques that help you lose your debates. And I just snagged a nasty one. Want to hear it?
TODD DOUGLAS: [HOWLS] That's dog for, of course. Let's listen in and see what the cat dragged in.
[KITTENS MEOWING]
WOMAN: Aw. Look at these little kittens in need of a home. What do you think, Amos? Should I adopt one?
AMOS: Meh.
WOMAN: Aren't they adorable? Listen to their little meows.
AMOS: I don't really like cats.
WOMAN: Wait. What? Why? And why didn't you put that on your dating profile?
AMOS: I don't know. I just think that they're mean.
WOMAN: How so? Because they can scratch and bite? Dogs can also scratch and bite.
[KITTEN MEOWS, PURRS]
Aw. This little furball seems to love the way I'm petting him.
AMOS: They're mean because-- they're just not nice to people.
[BUZZER]
TODD DOUGLAS: Cats are mean because they're not nice to people?
TAYLOR LINCOLN: And they're not nice to people because they're mean?
TODD DOUGLAS: Our friend just said the same thing twice. That argument didn't take us anywhere.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: And that's because it was a circular argument fallacy. That's when a debater ends their point with the argument they started with. It's an argument that goes around in circles.
TODD DOUGLAS: Like a dog chasing its tail. Our friend Amos needs to come up with some fresh ideas about why cats are mean.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Which is a losing argument anyway.
TODD DOUGLAS: I don't, Taylor. I've had a few gnarly run-ins with my neighbor's cat, Sausalito.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Watch it, Todd. My claws are coming out.
TODD DOUGLAS: To quote the great Scooby-Doo, [BARKS].
TAYLOR LINCOLN: [HISSES]
TODD DOUGLAS: [SCREAMS] We'll see you next time on--
TAYLOR AND TODD: State of Debate.
SPEAKER 1: Brains On universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, we know you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on. Let's explore.
COMPUTER: Here we are in Brains On universe, home to my favorite podcasts-- Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Forever Ago. [GASPS] I found one.
SINGERS: Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, Brains On.
COMPUTER: Brains On, a science podcast for kids and family.
[BEEPS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Let's start with our pal, the sun.
SUN: Did somebody call their favorite star? It's me, the sun.
MOLLY BLOOM: The sun is made up of very, very hot electrons.
[BUZZER]
COMPUTER: [GASPS] Ah, what a great show.
[BEEPS]
Need more Brains On now!
[EXPLODES]
SPEAKER 1: Listen to Brains On wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 2: Smash.
SPEAKER 3: Boom.
SPEAKER 4: Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
ELEANOR: And I'm your judge, Eleanor.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this ancient debate idea from Gayel.
GAYEL: Hi, I'm Gayel, and I'm from Australia. My debate idea is Romans versus Vikings.
ELEANOR: Now, that's a debate for the history books.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Gayel thinks should win.
ELEANOR: And now it's back to a debate, Ghostbusters versus Jurassic Park.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the--
ANNOUNCER: Micro-round.
MOLLY BLOOM: For the micro-round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Tracy and Tom, the prompt was baddy reputation. In this challenge, a villain from a debater's movie needs to clear their reputation. They want to set the record straight about how they're really not that bad. Will they redeem themselves? It's up to our debaters to decide. Tracy went first last time, so, Tom, you're up. Tell us why we shouldn't judge the baddies of Jurassic Park.
VELOCIRAPTOR: Hello. It's me, the velociraptor from Jurassic Park. You're surprised I can talk? Well, let's be honest. There's a lot about me that isn't exactly accurate, like how I'm a big, scaly movie monster, when in reality, real Velociraptors were the size of mini poodles and covered in feathers. I've got a bone to pick with you humans. And yes, I mean a femur. Mm, delicious.
You made me out to be the villain, but was I really? It was who brought me back from my nice, peaceful extinction. It was you who stuck me on an island of slow, dimwitted meals-- people. You knew I was a hunter. You even called me clever girl. This is on you.
In the first movie, you made me out to be a baddie for hunting people in a kitchen. But if I wasn't supposed to eat them, what were they doing in the kitchen? It's the place for snacks. Plus, I have a very high metabolism, and I need to eat all the time. People think I'm terrifying, but I'm really just hangry.
In conclusion, I was doing what I do best, hunting and snacking. You humans are the one who should be apologizing to me. Now, are you going to finish that? Oh, oh, it's your arm. Oh. Oh, and it's still attached to you. OK. Well, fine. I guess sharing is another thing you humans are bad at.
ELEANOR: Sharing is caring.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly. All right, Tracy, now it's your turn. Show us why we shouldn't judge a ghoul by its cover.
STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW: Hi. I'm a Stay Puft Marshmallow. And I'm so tall. But who doesn't love marshmallow? Just because I'm big and sometimes step on cars and buildings?
[CRASHES]
Oops. Marshmallow's so big. But inside, I am soft, squishy, not villain. I come to New York and want to say hi. But when I see people, I--
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
[GLASS BREAKING]
Oops. I am not big hungry reptile built to snack on you. I am snack, just big snack. And I want to hug. But sometimes I crush.
[MAN SCREAMING]
[CRASHES]
Oops. Wait. Do not run away. We could make s'mores.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
All right. Eleanor, what did you like about Tracy and Tom's micro-rounds?
ELEANOR: I thought the accents were awesome. And I think you both do a good job explaining why they're so misunderstood.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's tough. It's tough to be a villain.
TRACY MUMFORD: But it's soft to be a marshmallow.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] All right. Eleanor, it is time to award a point to one of these misunderstood villains. The criteria is completely subjective and completely up to you. Did someone make you laugh? Did someone make you think? Did someone make you rethink? Have you made your decision?
ELEANOR: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third round, the super stealthy--
[CHANTING]
ANNOUNCER: Sneak attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called Greeting Card. Tom and Tracy, you have to write the message in a pretend greeting card based on your side. You have to write messages for three different holidays, but they can be any occasion you choose-- a birthday, anniversary, grandparents day, whatever you want as long as the message relates to your side.
We'll volley back and forth for three rounds. Tom went first last time, so, Tracy, you're up. Read me a Ghostbuster greeting card for an auspicious occasion.
TRACY MUMFORD: This one's a no-brainer. "Happy Halloween. Booyah! Why be normal when you can be paranormal?"
MOLLY BLOOM: Ugh. I'm going to give that to all my friends this October. I can't wait. OK, Tom, it is your turn. Give me a Jurassic Park greeting card perfect for the holidays.
TOM WEBER: Front cover, "Get well soon!" Inside cover, "Sorry I ate your leg."
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
TOM WEBER: Tommy T-Rex.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very specific.
TRACY MUMFORD: Admitting to the dangers yet again.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] All right, Tracy, let's hear your second greeting card.
TRACY MUMFORD: This is for Merry Bustin' Day. It's a new holiday devoted to bustin' people's problems.
TOM WEBER: Hmm. OK.
TRACY MUMFORD: And you give someone that card when you feel like maybe they have a problem they could use your help with. Merry Bustin' Day. September 9.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] OK, Tom, what is your next greeting card?
TOM WEBER: Outside cover, "Happy Mother's Day to a great Stegosaurus." Inside, "Mom, your back scales and tail spikes always protected me. Thanks for being awesome."
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw, so beautiful. All right, Tracy, let's hear your final Ghostbusters greeting card.
TRACY MUMFORD: "Happy birthday. You get even more birthdays when you're a ghost."
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Infinite birthdays! OK, Tom, let's hear your last Jurassic Park greeting card.
TOM WEBER: "Happy Valentine's Day. May our love be as strong as the pressure of a Triceratops's impaling."
[LAUGHTER]
TRACY MUMFORD: That is not romance, Tom.
TOM WEBER: It's romantic.
MOLLY BLOOM: Romance. [LAUGHS]
ELEANOR: Romance in the air.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Amazing. Incredible cards all around. I can't wait to buy them and hand them out to all my friends. But Eleanor, only one of these teams can get a point for this round. Criteria are totally subjective, totally up to you. Have you made your decision?
ELEANOR: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Then it's time for our final round.
ANNOUNCER: The final six.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Tom, let's hear your six words for Jurassic Park.
TOM WEBER: J-Par inspired science movies and music.
MOLLY BLOOM: J-Par.
[LAUGHTER]
TOM WEBER: I have six words. I had to do. J-Par.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wait is J-Par one word?
TOM WEBER: That's one word.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. I love that. It's like J.Lo--
TOM WEBER: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: --but Jurassic Park.
TOM WEBER: It's the next big thing.
TRACY MUMFORD: It's what the cool kids call it.
ELEANOR: The next it girl.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, exactly. All right. Tracy, it's your turn. Give us your six words for Ghostbusters.
TRACY MUMFORD: These are my six words. [HUMMING]
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
TRACY MUMFORD: That's it. Six words.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh, incredible. All right, two final sixes here to really make you think, but only one of them can get your final point. Eleanor, have you made your decision?
ELEANOR: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
ELEANOR: Uh, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Drum roll, please.
[DRUM ROLL]
And the winner is--
ELEANOR: Jurassic Park.
TOM WEBER: Yay!
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness. Eleanor, what was your favorite part of the debate?
ELEANOR: I really liked the sneak attack. I thought the cards were super funny. And I always liked a new holiday.
TOM WEBER: So I, having watched the original Ghostbusters movie-- and it has been a minute, but it's seared-- I never really realized that I didn't know the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man until I heard Tracy's rendition, I guess we would say. And so I really feel a deeper connection to the movie and the franchise. And for that, Tracy, I'm grateful.
TRACY MUMFORD: Thank you, Tom. I just want to say, dinosaurs are cool. I would go to Jurassic Park on vacation when they got their safety record back where I need it to be. I'm not opposed to it. So happy to have you win. And maybe they can just work on their brochure, and we can all go there.
ELEANOR: Once they get OSHA-approved.
TRACY MUMFORD: Exactly. Once the lawsuits are settled, it's going to be great.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's going to be so fun. Well, that's it for today's debate battle. Eleanor crowned team Jurassic Park the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
ELEANOR: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios. It's produced by--
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Alex Simpson, with sound design by Aron Woldeslassie. Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Shahla Farzan.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On universe team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie Dupont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Anna Goldfield.
NICO GONZALEZ WISLER: Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMPERT: Lauren Humpert.
JESS MILLER: Jess Miller.
JOSHUA RAY: Joshua Ray.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: Charlotte Traver.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios executives-in-charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Tracy, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout-out to today?
TRACY MUMFORD: I just want to thank my cat, Gogo. She's always down to watch Ghostbusters, never complains. So Gogo, this one was for you.
ELEANOR: We love you, Gogo.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Tom? Any special shout-outs?
TOM WEBER: To my parents and anyone who bought me dinosaur books when I was a kid.
MOLLY BLOOM: Beautiful. And how about you, Eleanor? Any special thanks or shout-outs?
ELEANOR: The kids on my block who are going to listen to this. Hi, Willow, Lenny, and Elliot.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yay! Before we go, let's check in and see who Gayel thinks should win the Vikings versus Romans debate.
GAYEL: Vikings should win because the Vikings defeated the Romans.
MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down, drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line. And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with an extra special Smash Boom Best debate battle next week. It's Jack and the Beanstalk versus The Ugly Duckling. Bye-bye!
ELEANOR: See you.
TOM WEBER: Dinosaur roar goodbye.
TRACY MUMFORD: Going to ghost you now.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, put it through the test
Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, better than the rest
It's a Smash Boom Best
It's a Smash Boom Best
TOM WEBER: Aww.
[LAUGHTER]
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