Can’t get enough Smash Boom Best? Here’s a bonus episode! Sign up for Smarty Pass and you’ll get a bonus episode like this every month. Usually, these episodes are just for Smarty Pass subscribers but today we’re sharing one with all of our listeners. To get more, sign up for Smarty Pass at smartypass.org
How many times have you asked yourself: which is better, Sanden or a Velociraptor? On the one hand, Velociraptors hunt in packs but on the other hand, Sanden Totten is funny. Sanden has great hair but Velociraptors have been featured in several movies. It’s impossible to decide. Well, grab your Smarty Pass because, with the help of a fun game, we’ll decide which is best: Sanden or a Velociraptor!
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ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Psst. Hey, it's Aron Woldeslassie from Smash, Boom, Best. I've got exciting news. This October, the Brains On Universe team is sharing some of our super special bonus episodes. If you're a Smarty Pass subscriber, you already know about these episodes. But if you aren't, we wanted to give you a taste of what you'd get if you joined. All October, we're asking you to support our shows by subscribing to Smarty Pass. And to celebrate, we'll hosted virtual smarty party in November just for Smarty Pass subscribers.
Join today at smartypass.org and you'll have bonus episodes like these, ad-free episodes, and other awesome perks. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thanks so much for supporting the shows.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Now entering Brains On headquarters.
[MACHINE BEEPING]
MARC SANCHEZ: Hey Smarty pal, Marc Sanchez here. And I'm with my friend, Anna Goldfield.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Yeah. Marc and I were headed to the Brains On racetrack to see who's faster, my snail, Lola or his sloth, Alfred.
MARC SANCHEZ: Alfred is incredible behind the wheel. Anna, how is Lola even going to drive her car?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: With gusto, that's how.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hey, guys.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if it isn't Molly Bloom. Are you coming to watch the race?
MOLLY BLOOM: No, I'm actually looking for something. You haven't seen Sanden Totten anywhere, have you?
MARC SANCHEZ: No. Why?
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, it doesn't matter. Follow up question. Have you seen anyone from the Cretaceous Period running around?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Not since Christmas, no. Why do you ask?
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, you know how we have that super duper 3D bio printer in the basement?
MARC SANCHEZ: I sure do. I use it whenever I need someone to carpool with.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, I used it to make a velociraptor so I could finally teach a lizard how to salsa.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Of course.
MOLLY BLOOM: Anyway, I 3D-printed a velociraptor. But just to be safe, I made sure it was vegan so it wouldn't eat any of us. But the minute we started to dance, it smelled Sanden's vegan pumpkin bread and ran off.
MARC SANCHEZ: If it eats Sanden's pumpkin bread, Sanden will be heartbroken.
MOLLY BLOOM: I know. He loves that bread.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Wait, what's the big deal? I mean, If Sanden's allowed to eat the pumpkin bread, then so should a velociraptor.
MARC SANCHEZ: Sanden gets to eat that because he's funny, and kind, and has great hair.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, velociraptors run at a speed of 24 miles per hour and have 60 serrated teeth. Does Sanden and have that many teeth? Are his teeth even serrated?
MARC SANCHEZ: He has the perfect amount of teeth because he's perfect. Do you really think a dinky-Dino is as good as our Sanden?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: No, I think Sanden is great. But he doesn't have claws or feathers. And when you think about it, shouldn't a velociraptor get as much vegan pumpkin bread as anyone else?
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, I didn't think you two were so polarized when it came to velociraptors and Sanden Totten.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I just really like dinosaurs.
MARC SANCHEZ: And Sanden is my friend.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, there's only one way to find out which is better with a-- sneak attack. We'll play, By Any Other Name. For this sneak attack, you must pretend Sanden and velociraptors don't have names. Come up with three alternative names for your side. Marc, you'll be representing Sanden, and Anna, you'll be representing velociraptors. Does that make sense to you two?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Totally. Got it.
MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, absolutely. It's my honor.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Marc, you'll go first. Please give us a nickname for Mr. Totten.
MARC SANCHEZ: All right, let's see. Sanden is a world-class dresser. So I'm going to call-- another name for Sanden Totten would be fun-loving fashionista.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, very nice. OK. Anna, what would you call a velociraptor if you couldn't say velociraptor?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Want to start simple. I'm going to go with legs because they're really fast.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Marc, it is time for Sanden's second alternate name.
MARC SANCHEZ: OK. I'm sticking with Sanden's traits here. Fan of punk rock. Also a fan of giving very specific gifts to people. He's a great gift giver. People don't know this. So I'm going to say another word for Sanden is punk rock presenter of perfect presents.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, alliteration. I love it. All right, Anna, time for your second alternative name for velociraptors.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: OK. So as we all know, birds are descended directly from dinosaurs. So I'm going to go ahead and call the toothy velociraptor a Chompy Chicken.
MOLLY BLOOM: Another alliterative name. I'm into it. All right, Marc, please give us the final alternate name for Sanden.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if we really want to know Sanden's alternate name, of course, it's Peppy McPeppermint because he's so peppy, he's got so much energy, and he's cool like a mint.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Wow.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Anna, please give us your final alternative name for velociraptors.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, this is the one I was saving for last, and Marc totally pulled the rug out from under me. Because I'm-- a velociraptor in Latin translates to speedy snatcher or grabber. So my final submission for name for velociraptor is Speedy McGrabs.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, I love this. Peppy McPeppermint versus Speedy McGrabs. Ooh, OK. Those are really great names, you two.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, whatever you call them, Sanden is the best, I think.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello.
SANDEN TOTTEN (ON THE PHONE): You guys, a dinosaur in my office is eating all of my pumpkin bread.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Does it have 60 teeth?
MOLLY BLOOM: Does it know how to salsa?
SANDEN TOTTEN (ON THE PHONE): [SCREAM] Send help, please.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humbert. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge, are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends. Bye.
MARC SANCHEZ: See ya.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Ooh, you're the Smash, Boom, Best. Ooh, put you to the test. ooh, you're the Smash, Boom, Best. Ooh, better than the rest. It's the Smash, Boom Best. It's the Smash, Boom, Best.
Join today at smartypass.org and you'll have bonus episodes like these, ad-free episodes, and other awesome perks. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thanks so much for supporting the shows.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Now entering Brains On headquarters.
[MACHINE BEEPING]
MARC SANCHEZ: Hey Smarty pal, Marc Sanchez here. And I'm with my friend, Anna Goldfield.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Yeah. Marc and I were headed to the Brains On racetrack to see who's faster, my snail, Lola or his sloth, Alfred.
MARC SANCHEZ: Alfred is incredible behind the wheel. Anna, how is Lola even going to drive her car?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: With gusto, that's how.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hey, guys.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if it isn't Molly Bloom. Are you coming to watch the race?
MOLLY BLOOM: No, I'm actually looking for something. You haven't seen Sanden Totten anywhere, have you?
MARC SANCHEZ: No. Why?
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, it doesn't matter. Follow up question. Have you seen anyone from the Cretaceous Period running around?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Not since Christmas, no. Why do you ask?
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, you know how we have that super duper 3D bio printer in the basement?
MARC SANCHEZ: I sure do. I use it whenever I need someone to carpool with.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, I used it to make a velociraptor so I could finally teach a lizard how to salsa.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Of course.
MOLLY BLOOM: Anyway, I 3D-printed a velociraptor. But just to be safe, I made sure it was vegan so it wouldn't eat any of us. But the minute we started to dance, it smelled Sanden's vegan pumpkin bread and ran off.
MARC SANCHEZ: If it eats Sanden's pumpkin bread, Sanden will be heartbroken.
MOLLY BLOOM: I know. He loves that bread.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Wait, what's the big deal? I mean, If Sanden's allowed to eat the pumpkin bread, then so should a velociraptor.
MARC SANCHEZ: Sanden gets to eat that because he's funny, and kind, and has great hair.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, velociraptors run at a speed of 24 miles per hour and have 60 serrated teeth. Does Sanden and have that many teeth? Are his teeth even serrated?
MARC SANCHEZ: He has the perfect amount of teeth because he's perfect. Do you really think a dinky-Dino is as good as our Sanden?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: No, I think Sanden is great. But he doesn't have claws or feathers. And when you think about it, shouldn't a velociraptor get as much vegan pumpkin bread as anyone else?
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, I didn't think you two were so polarized when it came to velociraptors and Sanden Totten.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I just really like dinosaurs.
MARC SANCHEZ: And Sanden is my friend.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, there's only one way to find out which is better with a-- sneak attack. We'll play, By Any Other Name. For this sneak attack, you must pretend Sanden and velociraptors don't have names. Come up with three alternative names for your side. Marc, you'll be representing Sanden, and Anna, you'll be representing velociraptors. Does that make sense to you two?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Totally. Got it.
MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, absolutely. It's my honor.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Marc, you'll go first. Please give us a nickname for Mr. Totten.
MARC SANCHEZ: All right, let's see. Sanden is a world-class dresser. So I'm going to call-- another name for Sanden Totten would be fun-loving fashionista.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, very nice. OK. Anna, what would you call a velociraptor if you couldn't say velociraptor?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Want to start simple. I'm going to go with legs because they're really fast.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Marc, it is time for Sanden's second alternate name.
MARC SANCHEZ: OK. I'm sticking with Sanden's traits here. Fan of punk rock. Also a fan of giving very specific gifts to people. He's a great gift giver. People don't know this. So I'm going to say another word for Sanden is punk rock presenter of perfect presents.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, alliteration. I love it. All right, Anna, time for your second alternative name for velociraptors.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: OK. So as we all know, birds are descended directly from dinosaurs. So I'm going to go ahead and call the toothy velociraptor a Chompy Chicken.
MOLLY BLOOM: Another alliterative name. I'm into it. All right, Marc, please give us the final alternate name for Sanden.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if we really want to know Sanden's alternate name, of course, it's Peppy McPeppermint because he's so peppy, he's got so much energy, and he's cool like a mint.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Wow.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Anna, please give us your final alternative name for velociraptors.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, this is the one I was saving for last, and Marc totally pulled the rug out from under me. Because I'm-- a velociraptor in Latin translates to speedy snatcher or grabber. So my final submission for name for velociraptor is Speedy McGrabs.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, I love this. Peppy McPeppermint versus Speedy McGrabs. Ooh, OK. Those are really great names, you two.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, whatever you call them, Sanden is the best, I think.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello.
SANDEN TOTTEN (ON THE PHONE): You guys, a dinosaur in my office is eating all of my pumpkin bread.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Does it have 60 teeth?
MOLLY BLOOM: Does it know how to salsa?
SANDEN TOTTEN (ON THE PHONE): [SCREAM] Send help, please.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humbert. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge, are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends. Bye.
MARC SANCHEZ: See ya.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Ooh, you're the Smash, Boom, Best. Ooh, put you to the test. ooh, you're the Smash, Boom, Best. Ooh, better than the rest. It's the Smash, Boom Best. It's the Smash, Boom, Best.
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