Today’s debate is a smackdown of the smartest. It’s Parrots vs. Gorillas! Brains On Editor Shahla Farzan is ready to win parrots the prize and Brains On Producer Marc Sanchez is ready to GET IT for gorillas. Who will be crowned the Smash Boom Best? Vote below for the team YOU think won!
Also… do you have your Smarty Pass yet? Get yours today for just $4/month (or $36/year) and get bonus episodes every month, and ad-free versions of every episode of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Moment of Um and Forever Ago. Visit www.smartypass.org to get your Smarty Pass today. As an added bonus, your Smarty Pass will grant you access to a super special debate starring Sanden and Molly!
Audio Transcript
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MOLLY BLOOM: From the brains Behind Brains On!, It's Smash Boom Best.
ANI: The show for people with big opinions.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a smack down of the smartest. It's parrots versus gorillas. We've got Brains On! editor Shahla Farzan ready to win parrots the prize.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Ready to soar for team parrots.
MOLLY BLOOM: And Brains On! producer Marc Sanchez is here to get it for gorillas.
MARC SANCHEZ: Go, go, go, Gorillas! It's a go-real-a pleasure to be here with you.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, that was good. [LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Ani from Minneapolis. Hi, Ani.
ANI: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ani volunteers at an animal shelter, is learning ASL, and is hot off a Safari in Botswana. Ani, how was the safari?
ANI: Oh, it was excellent. It was excellent, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: What animals did you see?
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, we got to see some hippos. I just listened to the the hippo episode.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent.
ANI: We got to see some hyenas. I'm a huge hyena fan.
MOLLY BLOOM: So cool.
ANI: Uh-huh. Looked exactly like from The Lion King, which is pretty much my only frame of reference.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do they sound like Whoopi Goldberg too?
MARC SANCHEZ: [LAUGHS]
ANI: They sounded exactly like Whoopi Goldberg, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my gosh. Amazing.
MARC SANCHEZ: Uncanny.
MOLLY BLOOM: What a Safari. So cool. What do you love about volunteering at your animal shelter?
ANI: I work on the adoption floor, so that means that I get to help introduce people to their pets and help give dogs their fur-ever home. That's fur with a F-U-R.
[LAUGHTER]
There's this dog at the shelter right now named Sister. Just a little plug. She is blind and deaf, and the sweetest ever. She'll give you a little hug because she's really tactile. She has a little sniffer. That's what I call her nose.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw.
ANI: So, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. So do you have dogs at your home, too?
ANI: I do. I have two golden doodles.
MOLLY BLOOM: Amazing. What are their names?
ANI: Kipling and Morgeson.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh. Is it hard not to come home with dogs every time you go there. [CHUCKLES] Is it.
ANI: It really is.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have any advice for our debaters today?
ANI: Primarily, I am not above bribes.
[LAUGHTER]
So whether that's monetary or whatever. Yeah, I'm all for that, and I think that's it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Great advice. Will Ani side with Shahla or Marc? Let's find out. But first, here are the rules of the game.
[DETERMINED MUSIC]
Every debate consists of four rounds-- the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. After each round, our judge Ani will award points to the team that impresses them the most, but they'll keep their decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Shahla, Mark, and Ani, are you ready?
ANI: Yes.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, yeah. This debate's about to take flight.
[LAUGHTER]
MARC SANCHEZ: I'm totally ready. And, Ani, just one question.
ANI: Mm. Yeah?
MARC SANCHEZ: Do you prefer--
ANI: My Venmo account?
[LAUGHTER]
MARC SANCHEZ: --Venmo, PayPal, Zelle? I'm totally open.
ANI: OK. So this might seem a bit antiquated, but I'm huge on the gold standard.
[LAUGHTER]
So--
MARC SANCHEZ: Done.
MOLLY BLOOM: Only gold bars.
MARC SANCHEZ: You know what? My golden doodle will appreciate that.
ANI: [GASPS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw.
ANI: You have a golden doodle?
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, yeah. Her name's Ella.
ANI: [YELPS SOFTLY] OK.
MARC SANCHEZ: She would love, I'm sure--
ANI: I'm just going to write that down.
MARC SANCHEZ: --to befriend Kipling and Morgenson.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Golden doodles everywhere. All right. It's time for the Declaration of Greatness.
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
In this round, our debaters will present a well crafted immersive argument in favor of their side. Then, they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin and, Shahla, you're up first. Tell us what makes parrots so amazing.
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
SHAHLA FARZAN: When I was a kid, my parents brought home an African gray parrot. She was so small she could fit in the palm of my hand, and we named her Baby. We all loved Baby, especially my dad.
DAD: Baby was special. When we adopted her, she was a little bundle of meat, no feathers, big head. She was only eight weeks old, and we fed her every two hours and raised her as part of our family.
SHAHLA FARZAN: I have this memory of you with this little spoon, and you're feeding her that mush. That weird kind of soft mush. And I just remember her. She was eating bites of it, and I remember that she kind of got a little too much and she sneezed, and she just sneezed it everywhere. All over your face. In your mustache.
DAD: Well, yeah. I had to make that spoon-- the end of it-- like a beak so it would fit in her beak and she would just gobble down. Gobble, gobble, gobble everything. She felt like a baby. Just like a human baby.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Baby grew into a sassy, super smart parrot with a fiery red tail and sleek gray feathers. She learned tons of words and talked a mile a minute. And she imitated all different kinds of sounds. The microwave.
[MICROWAVE BEEPING]
The radio.
[RADIO STATIC]
Even my mom's voice.
MOM: How are you?
SHAHLA FARZAN: Parrots like Baby might seem like they're just beautiful birds, with their rainbow of feather colors, long tails, and shiny beaks. But there's a lot more to them than meets the eye. That's because parrots are really smart.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Parrots can count, add and subtract, solve complicated puzzles, tell us what they want, and even understand the concept of 0. That's something that human kids don't usually understand till they're about four years old. One parrot named Alex could even identify 50 different objects, seven colors, and five shapes. Here's a recording of him.
HANDLER: Hey, look. Can you tell me, on the tray, how many green block? How many green block?
ALEX: Two.
HANDLER: Good parrot. Two green block. Two. Good parrot.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Sure, gorillas are smart, too. But that's not that surprising. Gorillas are really closely related to humans and their brains are big, at least compared to parrots. Parrots have brains the size of a shelled walnut, which makes their intelligence even more impressive.
[PARROT SQUAWKS]
And as we learned from Baby, parrots can talk. Out of the zillions of creatures on Earth, only two are capable of producing human language-- humans and birds.
PARAKEET: Hello, my little budgie. Hi, little budgekin. Hi, my little budgekin. My little budgie. You're so cute. [KISSES]
SHAHLA FARZAN: It's really cool considering parrots don't have lips or teeth. What they do have is an organ in their throats called a syrinx, which is like our human voice box, and special bony tongues that they use to make all different kinds of sounds. There's even a death metal band called Hatebeak that has a parrot as the lead singer.
[HATEBEAK, "SEEDS OF VENGEANCE"]
[PARROT SQUAWKS]
I am not a parrot
[PARROT SQUAWKS]
In the wild, parrots use these sounds to call back and forth to share important information with their flock, like which trees have delicious fruit or if there's a predator around. And get this. In some species, every individual bird has a different voice that their flock mates recognize.
Squawk, squawk, squawk. Man, Gary's really into that papaya tree. Seriously. It's like all he squawks about. How about you try some mango today? Know what I mean? Mix it up a little, Gary?
Parrots are super social creatures like humans, and that's part of what makes them such incredible companions. Some live more than 60 years, which means you could spend a huge chunk of your life with one. Many parrot owners say their birds give them unconditional love, bring Joy to their lives, and make them laugh. And some parrots have even saved lives.
In France, one parrot woke up his family during a fire by shouting, oh my gosh. It's hot. It's hot. Another parrot in noticed a toddler was choking and yelled for help.
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
My childhood parrot Baby isn't with us anymore, but we think about her all the time because, like my dad says, she was family to us.
DAD: They are special creatures, and when they bond with you, they bond forever.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Parrots. They're deeply intelligent, surprising creatures who bring us Joy and comfort. And they sing in death metal bands.
[HATEBEAK, "SEEDS OF VENGEANCE"]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Shahla making Baby the parrot very proud with that Declaration of Greatness. Ani, what stood out to you about Shahla's argument?
ANI: I like the recording of your dad. It kind of felt like a biopic type thing with the music. It was lovely. The sneezing. That's so cute.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, Marc, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why parrots are poop. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
[CLOCK TICKING]
MARC SANCHEZ: OK. Nice try, pulling on the heartstrings with the music and the dad and the voiceover--
SHAHLA FARZAN: [LAUGHS]
MARC SANCHEZ: --but actually, parrots are disgusting and messy. That was a cute story about throwing up, but actually, I mean, it's kind of gross. And they poop all over. I was on some parrot forums, unfortunately, and there was one that projectile pooped--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Hah!
MARC SANCHEZ: --3 and a half feet onto the wall.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Hah!
MARC SANCHEZ: That's disgusting. They're also very intelligent, great. But they're intelligent at being narcissists.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MARC SANCHEZ: They want your attention. They want your attention all the time.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, Marc.
MARC SANCHEZ: And if you don't give it to them, they scream.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time!
[LAUGHTER]
MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, did you say time? I'm sorry.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. [LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: Don't try to cage my spirit, seriously. Because as Nelly Furtado used to say, (SINGING) I'm like a bird. I'll only fly away.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] All right, Marc. I know you have a lot more to say. It is time for your Declaration of Greatness. Please tell us why gorillas are the greatest.
MARC SANCHEZ: A few years back, I was at the zoo.
[DREAMY HARP CRESCENDO]
ZOO ANNOUNCER (ON PA): Welcome. Elephant bathing starts in five minutes and continues throughout the day. Reptile feedings are at 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00. And the giraffes will be looking down at you all day.
MARC SANCHEZ: The Lions were sleeping. More of a bore than a roar. I tried to check out some cool, colorful parrots--
[PARROTS SQUAWKING]
--but I couldn't hear myself think over their terrible squawking. My visit was turning into a real stinker. And then, I came face to face, literally, with a gorilla. Her name was Alice.
[CLAIR DE LUNE PLAYING]
She was just sitting near a glass wall and chewing on some leaves. But when she locked eyes with me, it was like she was staring straight into my soul and saying, Marc, I get you. I get you too, Alice. We stared at each other for probably 10 minutes, but it felt like an hour. And when I left, it literally hurt like I was leaving a friend.
It's easy to put human emotions on these magnificent creatures. We share 98.3% of the same DNA. Go ahead. Look at your hands. You're basically looking at gorilla hands. Two opposable thumbs, fingerprints, and fingernails. In fact, they have opposable thumb-like toes too. Perfect for grabbing things and climbing trees in the forests of Central and West Africa.
[DRAMATIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
If you turn on the news pretty much any day, you'll find people yelling about politics, stories about climate change, or updates on how grocery prices have gone through the roof. I'm proud to be a human and all, but let's face it, our world is full of drama. Our primate pals on the other hand, they get it. For example--
[GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
--pop culture might lead us to believe gorillas are ferocious beasts.
[KING KONG ROARING]
Thanks, King Kong.
[GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
In reality, gorillas are calm, gentle giants. They're mainly vegetarians. Sure, their jaws are powerful enough to snap a tree branch, but that's just a fun party trick. Gorillas have a lot to teach us about family, too. Their troops are made up of anywhere between 5 to 50 primates with one main adult male. He's a leader called a silverback.
Also in the troop are adult females, young males and babies, too. Such cute babies. Oof. They show affection by grooming each other-- picking off turn and debris and parasites. Such great friends. They wrestle and roll and swing and play. They even tickle each other and laugh.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Once the younger males get to about eight years old, they usually set out on their own. Most wander alone for a few years until they're ready to lead their own family. Or if they're not the solitary type, some male gorillas form a bachelor troop with other males. Imagine living in a pack with all your besties.
[PARTY HORN]
[GROWLING]
MARC SANCHEZ: Plus, gorillas know how to relax. After they eat every day, they take a nap. I mean, first they fart.
[FARTS]
Actually, they fart all day long. Don't judge. You would too, if you were eating that many veggies.
But anyway, after napping, they eat some more. And then get this. They build a nest to sleep in for the night. That's right. You don't have to be a parrot to have a nest.
VOICE ACTOR AS GORILLA: Yo, Gro. What a long day of doing nothing. I'm exhausted.
VOICE ACTOR AS GRO: Yeah, buddy. But luckily, it's nap time. Time to nest up.
VOICE ACTOR AS GORILLA: And rest up.
[FARTS, LAUGHS]
Uh, hold on. Did gorillas invent a vacation? Maybe we should ask them. Have you ever heard of a gorilla named Koko?
["STAR-SPANGLED BANNER" PLAYING]
She was born July 4, 1971, at the San Francisco Zoo. She moved to a gorilla reserve in the Santa Cruz Mountains where her caregiver taught her to speak using sign language. It's been reported that Koko knew around 1,000 different words in gorilla sign language, and she understood about 2000 spoken words. Not only was Koko a lover of words, she was also a lover of cats.
[MEOWS]
Her favorite pal was a tiny kitten named All Ball. She would often cradle this little kitten and stare into its eyes like a protective, loving mother. Oh, man. Now I want to be held in strong gorilla arms, looked at like I'm the only other living thing in the world. Alice, here I come!
[PIANO MELODY]
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Marc pulling on our heartstrings there. I hope you and Alice get some snuggles later. Ani, what stood out to you about Marc's declaration of greatness.
ANI: When I was younger, I used to be really obsessed with Koko. I got all the National Geographic Junior books.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nice.
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah.
ANI: I love them all. And I especially loved Koko's story. I looked up like pictures of her. I read all of the articles. So that definitely worked for me.
Oh, you know what? I did use to want to be like a gorilla handler. And then I learned about health insurance.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, Shahla, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why gorillas are bore-rillas. You have got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
SHAHLA FARZAN: OK, first of all, you've seen one gorilla. You've basically seen them all. Like that one over there, black and hairy. That one also black and hairy. But parrots literally come in every color of the rainbow.
Also, how dare you talk about parrot poop when gorillas are farting all day long? So rude. And I had a feeling you were going to talk about Koko and sign language. And it looks super cool, but unfortunately, there's a lot of controversy around that sign language. And if you look at the videos, you can actually see her trainers prompting her, which I know is really sad.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Sorry, Marc. I'm sorry.
MARC SANCHEZ: Somebody went down the conspiracy hole.
[LAUGHS]
There's a lot of-- there is a lot of controversy around parrot intelligence, too.
ANI: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That is coming from somebody who said they spent a significant amount of time on parrot forums so that doesn't look good for you, Marc.
[LAUGHS]
MARC SANCHEZ: Wow! You have a great memory, Ani.
ANI: I know. I'm taking notes.
MARC SANCHEZ: I really like that about you. I like that.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Way to turn that around into a compliment for them. Man, Marc, good job.
ANI: Also, I think my heart was just broken. Prompted? This was, like, my entire childhood.
MARC SANCHEZ: Shahla Farzan ruins childhood. OK. Come on.
ANI: Fantastic.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, man!
MOLLY BLOOM: It is time to award some points. Give one point to the Declaration of Greatness you liked best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument.
Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic to die for? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?
ANI: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Marc and Shahla, how are you two feeling so far.
SHAHLA FARZAN: I'm feeling pretty good. I feel like we're just doing this on a wing and a prayer, Marc.
MARC SANCHEZ: I think that's pretty apt for parrot lover, but I think I'm in primate condition here.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Marc, time to walk the walk, talk the talk, squawk, the squawk.
[GIGGLES]
MARC SANCHEZ: I'll beat my chest to that.
SHAHLA FARZAN: I got a million of them. I got a million of them.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's time for a quick break. Preen your feathers and groom your friend's fur.
ANI: And we'll be right back with more "Smash Boom Best."
ANNOUNCER 1: You're listening to "State of Debate," home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Buongiorno, dynamic debaters. It's me, Taylor Lincoln with my cheesy chum Todd Douglas.
TODD DOUGLAS: Well, Buongiorno, to you too, Taylorino. Say, that's a lot of dough you've got there.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Do you mean these stacks of money or all this pizza dough?
TODD DOUGLAS: Gosh, both, I guess.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Well, thanks for noticing, Todd. I was just thinking about how rich I am. Rich with knowledge.
Just yesterday, my friend told me about a sticky, logical fallacy that I just can't toss. That's a debate mistake that makes your argument easy to defeat. Let's take a listen.
[TAPE ROLLS]
DANA: You look nice.
JAY: Well, thank you. So do you.
DANA: Do you have the tickets?
JAY: You bet I do. I was just thinking of whipping up a homemade pizza for us first.
DANA: But the symphony starts at 7:30. Let's just microwave up a frozen burrito and call it good.
JAY: One sad burrito? Frozen?
[SCOFFS]
No, Dana. Pizza's a better option. Pizzas have pizzazz. And you can personalize them with fresh herbs like parsley, sage, rosemary, and-- see, we have so much thyme.
DANA: Are you sure we have time? Pizzas take a while and it's getting pretty late.
JAY: Yes, we have plenty of thyme for the pizza. So what do you say? Shall we whip up a pizza real quick?
DANA: If you're sure we have enough time.
JAY: We have lots of thyme.
DANA: OK, then let's do it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you mean we have lots of time like T-I-M-E, as in minutes and seconds, or thyme like the herb T-H-Y-M-E? The green plant with a savory flavor?
- Yes.
[BUZZ]
TODD DOUGLAS: Ooh, that got spicy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You mean the pizza or the ambiguity fallacy?
TODD DOUGLAS: Definitely the ambiguity fallacy. That's when someone uses a double meaning or ambiguous language to mislead or represent the truth.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: That's right. You don't specify exactly what you're referring to so the other person can't agree or refute it. Like, how Jay tried to convince Dana that they should have pizza by telling her they had plenty of time, a.k.a. the herb. But Dana was worried about the other kind of time, being late.
TODD DOUGLAS: That fallacy is definitely too crusty to fold into a good argument--
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Or a pizza.
TODD DOUGLAS: I could really go for a pie right now.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Wait. A "pie" pie or a pizza pie?
TODD DOUGLAS: Exactly. We'll see you next time on--
BOTH: "State of Debate."
ANNOUNCER 2: "Brains On Universe" is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of "Smash Boom Best," we know you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore.
VOICE ACTOR AS ROBOT: Entering "Brains On Universe" to find my favorite podcasts.
[BEEP]
Brains On.
[BEEP]
"Smash Boom Best."
[BEEP]
"Forever Ago."
[GASP]
Picking up signal.
MAN 1: (SINGING) Buh buh ba buh ba buh ba ba buh Brains On.
VOICE ACTOR AS ROBOT: "Brains On," a science podcast for kids and families.
MOLLY BLOOM: One wild fact about Antarctica is that if you dig about a hundred feet underground, you can find traces of a tropical rainforest.
KID: Wait, what?
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
ACTOR AS ROBOT: Zorb, where did the signal go?
[BEEPING]
Must find "Brains On" now!
ANNOUNCER 2: Listen to "Brains On" wherever you get your podcasts.
MAN 2: "Smash Boom Best."
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to "Smash Boom Best." I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
ANI: And I'm your judge, Ani.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this prehistoric debate idea from Brendan.
BRENDAN: Hi, my name is Brendan and I'm from California. My idea is dinosaurs versus jellyfishes.
ANI: Two very special species.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back at the end of this episode to see which side Brendan thinks should win.
ANI: And now it's back to our debate, parrots versus gorillas.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the Micro Round. For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance.
Shahla and Marc were challenged to be my roommate, where they had to write a roommate listing that describes how great they are to live with and what they're looking for in a roomie. Shahla went first last time so, Marc, you're up. Give us the goods on living with a gorilla.
VOICE ACTOR AS SPENCE G. GORILLA: Calming? Curious? Looking for a roommate? Hey, I'm Spence and I'm looking for a new roomie who can hang with me and the rest of my troop.
We pretty much do everything together. It's the best. You are not going to believe our pad. It's wild, literally.
We've got super cozy sleep spaces for everyone with fresh nests every day. Our furniture is on the organic side as it's made of branches and leaves. I don't know. We like it. You just got to see it.
If you're new to the area, no problemo. I know all the best spots to eat. Heck, I lead my troop every day to find the best food around. There's no way you're going to go hungry with this, fam.
OK, a couple quick things about you. You should be skilled at swinging on branches and vines. It would be great if you're also into grooming. So, we pick the bugs off you, you do the same for us. Win, win.
We're pretty strict vegetarians here, and we ask that you be the same. Our house is also FF. That's fart friendly so you got to be able to roll with the wind.
Lastly, and this might sound weird, but you must be female. Sorry bros. Us gorilla dudes get pretty competitive and I'm not looking to show off feats of strength right now.
You feel me? Cool. Hit me up with any questions. Spence G. Gorilla.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Spence. Sounds like you'd be a pretty good roommate. Shahla?
MARC SANCHEZ: The best.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Shahla, it's your turn. Tell us why a parrot would be a great living partner.
VOICE ACTOR AS GARY: Hi, I'm Gary. Are you looking for a fun loving and outgoing flock mate? Me too.
Squawk! Come and share my one room, one birdbath apartment in the beautiful Florida Keys. It's full of lush, tropical plants and delicately scented flowers.
[SNIFFS]
You'll feel like you're on vacation whenever you step inside. Plus, I always keep plates of delicious all-you-can-eat fresh fruit and nuts scattered around the house. Mangoes, papaya, pineapple, papaya, melon, more papaya. Seriously, it's a fruit lover's paradise.
No need to purchase an expensive gym membership. I've installed a state of the art ropes course for us to play out together. Plus, don't worry about bringing your own purchase. I've got plenty!
I put down fresh newspaper on the floors every day, and you can even use my dropped feathers for craft projects free of charge. And if you love spontaneous dance parties and squawking at the top of your lungs whenever the mood strikes you, you're in luck. There's nothing better than bobbing your head up and down and turning around in circles to your favorite song after a long day at work, am I right? OK, one things better-- papaya!
I love to go to bed early, as soon as it gets dark. So you'll have the apartment all to yourself at night. And if you get lonely, there are plenty of mirrors around to keep you company. The best part? Monthly rent is only one plate of fresh papaya.
It's a steal. Can't wait to meet you and your papaya, of course. Squawk! I love papaya. Squawk!
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. I also love papayas. So that sounded pretty good to live with Gary as well. Oh, man. All right, Ani, what did you like about those two Micro Rounds?
ANI: Wow! Well, Gary's room sounds quite appealing. I love the cheap rent, especially with the housing market nowadays.
[LAUGHS]
The fresh nests sound lovely. Swinging, I'm a huge fan of that. So that's also something interesting to look into.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is a tough decision, but it's time to award a point. Don't tell us who it's going to. Have you made your decision?
ANI: I have.
[BELL CHIMES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for our third round, the super stealthy--
MAN 3: Ha ha hoo ha!
MOLLY BLOOM: Sneak Attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's Sneak Attack is called, End it on a High Note. On the fly, I want you to come up with a bedtime story designed to put little children to sleep.
As the story goes on, however, your voice needs to get progressively higher--
[LAUGHS]
--and more falsetto. You have 30 seconds to complete your story. Does this make sense, debaters?
SHAHLA FARZAN: (SINGING) Yes, it does!
MARC SANCHEZ: Yes, it does.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Shahla, you're going to start. Let's hear your bedtime story about parrots. Your 30 seconds starts now.
SHAHLA FARZAN: This is the story of two best friends named Prunella the Parrot and Georgie the Gorilla. They met when they were little babies, no bigger than a grape. And they were best, best, best friends and they did everything together. They clipped each other's toenails. They read comic books.
And then one day, Georgie said, I wish that I could fly just like you, Prunella. And Prunella said, I will make you wings, Georgie. And so Prunella was such a smart parrot.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
SHAHLA FARZAN: She made him wings.
[GIGGLES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Lovely. Wow. That story really went somewhere, which is not easy to do in only 30 seconds.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Did some weird voices, though. I don't know. I went real British with that one. Sorry, guys.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, you just down slipped into some accent.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Yeah. We kind of slipped in and out there.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's OK. All right, Marc, it is your turn. Let's hear your bedtime story about gorillas.
MARC SANCHEZ: This is a story about Sam, the baby gorilla who went out with his silverback troop leader. And they went out and Sam was very sad because his friend Prunella, the Bird flew off and left him. But the silverback was distracting and played with him and tickled him. And Sam forgot all about that evil, evil bird who left poor baby little Sam, unfriended him. It's like a social media but in the jungle. And he--
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MARC SANCHEZ: --went to sleep in a bush.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: How high can your voice really go, Marc?
MARC SANCHEZ: (SINGING) He went to sleep in the nest.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow! Amazing. Well done, both of you. But, Ani, only one of them can get a point for these high notes, these beautiful stories. Have you made your decision?
ANI: Yes, I have.
[BELL CHIMES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for our final round. The Final Six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Marc, let's hear your six words for the glory of gorillas.
MARC SANCHEZ: Learn life lessons through primate pals.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, lovely.
MARC SANCHEZ: They're here for us.
MOLLY BLOOM: Shahla, it is your turn. Tell us why parrots are the priority.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Parrots save lives. Gorillas can't fly.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, very good. Excellent final sixes from both of you.
MARC SANCHEZ: Shots fired in that Final Six. Come on.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Did you think that was really good? Did you think it was "im-peck-cable?" A "McCaw-some" Final Six?
MARC SANCHEZ: To me it sounded like a big squawking pandemonium, which is what parrots are called, the flocks.
SHAHLA FARZAN: No, no, it's OK. I know that we both know it was 24 parrot gold. So I mean, we should just agree-- we should just agree it was really great.
MARC SANCHEZ: Speaking of gold, Ani, are you still open for gold?
ANI: I am. I am.
MARC SANCHEZ: Great. Great to know.
ANI: Yeah, but we can actually figure that out after the round, I think. You and I can just--
MARC SANCHEZ: Either way.
ANI: Like a business call or whatever.
MOLLY BLOOM: Business call.
ANI: Figure it out.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ani, it is time to award a final point for this Final Six. Have you made your decision?
ANI: I have made my decision.
[BELL CHIMES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
ANI: I am.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, my goodness. Drum roll, please. And the winner is--
[DRUM ROLL]
ANI: Parrots.
MARC SANCHEZ: No!
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, yay! Yes!
MARC SANCHEZ: My gorillas.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, wow!
MARC SANCHEZ: I think I need to go back to the zoo to get a hug.
MOLLY BLOOM: Honey, was it close? Was this a tough debate?
ANI: It was. It was pretty close. It came down to the Final Six. And while I love the alliteration. The gorillas can't fly, that was tough to beat.
MARC SANCHEZ: Rude. I think it's the word you're looking for.
ANI: Well, yeah.
MARC SANCHEZ: I mean, we do swing. I'm not going to argue this anymore.
[LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: I'm sorry, Marc, but you did a really great job.
MARC SANCHEZ: Thank you.
SHAHLA FARZAN: I honestly was so-- I was shaking in my boots when I listened to your Declaration of Greatness, Marc, because you covered so many points that I hadn't even thought of about gorillas. Gorillas are incredible, and they're super smart, and they're so kind. And you just did such a good job summarizing it.
And side note, I already love gorillas because I had a stuffed gorilla when I was a kid named Willie. So I was harboring a secret love in my heart that I never told you about. And now I'm coming clean. I'm coming clean. You did an amazing job.
MARC SANCHEZ: Shahla, I will come clean as well because I had a parakeet as a child.
[GASP]
SHAHLA FARZAN: You did? Aw.
MARC SANCHEZ: Its name was Shamrock. And then it flew away and then we got Shamrock 2.
[LAUGHS]
And I adored the birds. And I really loved hearing from your dad. He was so sweet. And I loved how he talked about the parrot being part of your family.
That's really relatable to any pet. And I'm sure you have fond memories of your African gray. And it was fun to hear about it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, that is it for today's Smash Boom battle. Ani crowned parrots the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
ANI: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: "Smash Boom Best" is brought to you by "Brains On" and APM Studios. It's produced by Molly Bloom.
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: And?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Derek Ramirez with sound design by Anna Weggel. Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Shahla Farzan.
MOLLY BLOOM: And?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we had production help from the rest of the "Brains On Universe" team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie DuPont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Anna Goldfield.
NICOL GONZALEZ WISLER: Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMPERT: Lauren Humpert.
JESS MILLER: Jess Miller.
JOSHUA RAY: Joshua Ray.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
MOLLY BLOOM: And?
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: Charlotte Traver.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Perlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Shahla, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
SHAHLA FARZAN: I want to thank my dad, Ali, for talking with me all about Baby, and also the whole Brains On universe team. You guys are so fun to work with.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw, Shahla. How about you, Marc? Any special shout outs?
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, I got to thank my troop. Vicki and goldendoodle, Ella, and my daughter Koko, who, by the way, has the same name as a very famous gorilla. So shout out to both Kokos.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Ani? Any special thanks or shout outs?
ANI: Yeah, I'd like to give a special shout out to Olive and Josie who listened to the show. Also, my violin teachers' kids. So yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, Olive and Josie. Thank you for listening. Before we go, let's check in and see who Brendan thinks should win the dinosaurs versus jellyfish debate.
BRENDAN: I think jellyfishes should win because jellyfishes have been around even before the dinosaurs and they have more facts to learn about.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good point, Brendan. If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you are any age and you have an idea for a knock-down drag-out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line.
And make sure to subscribe to "Brains On Universe" on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a new "Smash Boom Best" debate battle next week. Tah-tah!
MARC SANCHEZ: Going, going--
SHAHLA FARZAN: See you later.
MARC SANCHEZ: --gorilla gone!
[THEME MUSIC] Oh, you're the smash boom best
Oh, put you through the test Oh you're the smash boom best Oh, better than the rest You're the smash boom best You're the smash boom best
MARC SANCHEZ: Going, going, gorilla gone!
[LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: Wait, what did you just say, Marc?
MARC SANCHEZ: I can't tell if you liked that or hated it.
[LAUGHS]
ANI: The show for people with big opinions.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a smack down of the smartest. It's parrots versus gorillas. We've got Brains On! editor Shahla Farzan ready to win parrots the prize.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Ready to soar for team parrots.
MOLLY BLOOM: And Brains On! producer Marc Sanchez is here to get it for gorillas.
MARC SANCHEZ: Go, go, go, Gorillas! It's a go-real-a pleasure to be here with you.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, that was good. [LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Ani from Minneapolis. Hi, Ani.
ANI: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ani volunteers at an animal shelter, is learning ASL, and is hot off a Safari in Botswana. Ani, how was the safari?
ANI: Oh, it was excellent. It was excellent, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: What animals did you see?
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, we got to see some hippos. I just listened to the the hippo episode.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent.
ANI: We got to see some hyenas. I'm a huge hyena fan.
MOLLY BLOOM: So cool.
ANI: Uh-huh. Looked exactly like from The Lion King, which is pretty much my only frame of reference.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do they sound like Whoopi Goldberg too?
MARC SANCHEZ: [LAUGHS]
ANI: They sounded exactly like Whoopi Goldberg, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my gosh. Amazing.
MARC SANCHEZ: Uncanny.
MOLLY BLOOM: What a Safari. So cool. What do you love about volunteering at your animal shelter?
ANI: I work on the adoption floor, so that means that I get to help introduce people to their pets and help give dogs their fur-ever home. That's fur with a F-U-R.
[LAUGHTER]
There's this dog at the shelter right now named Sister. Just a little plug. She is blind and deaf, and the sweetest ever. She'll give you a little hug because she's really tactile. She has a little sniffer. That's what I call her nose.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw.
ANI: So, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. So do you have dogs at your home, too?
ANI: I do. I have two golden doodles.
MOLLY BLOOM: Amazing. What are their names?
ANI: Kipling and Morgeson.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh. Is it hard not to come home with dogs every time you go there. [CHUCKLES] Is it.
ANI: It really is.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have any advice for our debaters today?
ANI: Primarily, I am not above bribes.
[LAUGHTER]
So whether that's monetary or whatever. Yeah, I'm all for that, and I think that's it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Great advice. Will Ani side with Shahla or Marc? Let's find out. But first, here are the rules of the game.
[DETERMINED MUSIC]
Every debate consists of four rounds-- the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. After each round, our judge Ani will award points to the team that impresses them the most, but they'll keep their decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Shahla, Mark, and Ani, are you ready?
ANI: Yes.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, yeah. This debate's about to take flight.
[LAUGHTER]
MARC SANCHEZ: I'm totally ready. And, Ani, just one question.
ANI: Mm. Yeah?
MARC SANCHEZ: Do you prefer--
ANI: My Venmo account?
[LAUGHTER]
MARC SANCHEZ: --Venmo, PayPal, Zelle? I'm totally open.
ANI: OK. So this might seem a bit antiquated, but I'm huge on the gold standard.
[LAUGHTER]
So--
MARC SANCHEZ: Done.
MOLLY BLOOM: Only gold bars.
MARC SANCHEZ: You know what? My golden doodle will appreciate that.
ANI: [GASPS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw.
ANI: You have a golden doodle?
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, yeah. Her name's Ella.
ANI: [YELPS SOFTLY] OK.
MARC SANCHEZ: She would love, I'm sure--
ANI: I'm just going to write that down.
MARC SANCHEZ: --to befriend Kipling and Morgenson.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Golden doodles everywhere. All right. It's time for the Declaration of Greatness.
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
In this round, our debaters will present a well crafted immersive argument in favor of their side. Then, they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin and, Shahla, you're up first. Tell us what makes parrots so amazing.
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
SHAHLA FARZAN: When I was a kid, my parents brought home an African gray parrot. She was so small she could fit in the palm of my hand, and we named her Baby. We all loved Baby, especially my dad.
DAD: Baby was special. When we adopted her, she was a little bundle of meat, no feathers, big head. She was only eight weeks old, and we fed her every two hours and raised her as part of our family.
SHAHLA FARZAN: I have this memory of you with this little spoon, and you're feeding her that mush. That weird kind of soft mush. And I just remember her. She was eating bites of it, and I remember that she kind of got a little too much and she sneezed, and she just sneezed it everywhere. All over your face. In your mustache.
DAD: Well, yeah. I had to make that spoon-- the end of it-- like a beak so it would fit in her beak and she would just gobble down. Gobble, gobble, gobble everything. She felt like a baby. Just like a human baby.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Baby grew into a sassy, super smart parrot with a fiery red tail and sleek gray feathers. She learned tons of words and talked a mile a minute. And she imitated all different kinds of sounds. The microwave.
[MICROWAVE BEEPING]
The radio.
[RADIO STATIC]
Even my mom's voice.
MOM: How are you?
SHAHLA FARZAN: Parrots like Baby might seem like they're just beautiful birds, with their rainbow of feather colors, long tails, and shiny beaks. But there's a lot more to them than meets the eye. That's because parrots are really smart.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Parrots can count, add and subtract, solve complicated puzzles, tell us what they want, and even understand the concept of 0. That's something that human kids don't usually understand till they're about four years old. One parrot named Alex could even identify 50 different objects, seven colors, and five shapes. Here's a recording of him.
HANDLER: Hey, look. Can you tell me, on the tray, how many green block? How many green block?
ALEX: Two.
HANDLER: Good parrot. Two green block. Two. Good parrot.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Sure, gorillas are smart, too. But that's not that surprising. Gorillas are really closely related to humans and their brains are big, at least compared to parrots. Parrots have brains the size of a shelled walnut, which makes their intelligence even more impressive.
[PARROT SQUAWKS]
And as we learned from Baby, parrots can talk. Out of the zillions of creatures on Earth, only two are capable of producing human language-- humans and birds.
PARAKEET: Hello, my little budgie. Hi, little budgekin. Hi, my little budgekin. My little budgie. You're so cute. [KISSES]
SHAHLA FARZAN: It's really cool considering parrots don't have lips or teeth. What they do have is an organ in their throats called a syrinx, which is like our human voice box, and special bony tongues that they use to make all different kinds of sounds. There's even a death metal band called Hatebeak that has a parrot as the lead singer.
[HATEBEAK, "SEEDS OF VENGEANCE"]
[PARROT SQUAWKS]
I am not a parrot
[PARROT SQUAWKS]
In the wild, parrots use these sounds to call back and forth to share important information with their flock, like which trees have delicious fruit or if there's a predator around. And get this. In some species, every individual bird has a different voice that their flock mates recognize.
Squawk, squawk, squawk. Man, Gary's really into that papaya tree. Seriously. It's like all he squawks about. How about you try some mango today? Know what I mean? Mix it up a little, Gary?
Parrots are super social creatures like humans, and that's part of what makes them such incredible companions. Some live more than 60 years, which means you could spend a huge chunk of your life with one. Many parrot owners say their birds give them unconditional love, bring Joy to their lives, and make them laugh. And some parrots have even saved lives.
In France, one parrot woke up his family during a fire by shouting, oh my gosh. It's hot. It's hot. Another parrot in noticed a toddler was choking and yelled for help.
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
My childhood parrot Baby isn't with us anymore, but we think about her all the time because, like my dad says, she was family to us.
DAD: They are special creatures, and when they bond with you, they bond forever.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Parrots. They're deeply intelligent, surprising creatures who bring us Joy and comfort. And they sing in death metal bands.
[HATEBEAK, "SEEDS OF VENGEANCE"]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Shahla making Baby the parrot very proud with that Declaration of Greatness. Ani, what stood out to you about Shahla's argument?
ANI: I like the recording of your dad. It kind of felt like a biopic type thing with the music. It was lovely. The sneezing. That's so cute.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, Marc, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why parrots are poop. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
[CLOCK TICKING]
MARC SANCHEZ: OK. Nice try, pulling on the heartstrings with the music and the dad and the voiceover--
SHAHLA FARZAN: [LAUGHS]
MARC SANCHEZ: --but actually, parrots are disgusting and messy. That was a cute story about throwing up, but actually, I mean, it's kind of gross. And they poop all over. I was on some parrot forums, unfortunately, and there was one that projectile pooped--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Hah!
MARC SANCHEZ: --3 and a half feet onto the wall.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Hah!
MARC SANCHEZ: That's disgusting. They're also very intelligent, great. But they're intelligent at being narcissists.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MARC SANCHEZ: They want your attention. They want your attention all the time.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, Marc.
MARC SANCHEZ: And if you don't give it to them, they scream.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time!
[LAUGHTER]
MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, did you say time? I'm sorry.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. [LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: Don't try to cage my spirit, seriously. Because as Nelly Furtado used to say, (SINGING) I'm like a bird. I'll only fly away.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] All right, Marc. I know you have a lot more to say. It is time for your Declaration of Greatness. Please tell us why gorillas are the greatest.
MARC SANCHEZ: A few years back, I was at the zoo.
[DREAMY HARP CRESCENDO]
ZOO ANNOUNCER (ON PA): Welcome. Elephant bathing starts in five minutes and continues throughout the day. Reptile feedings are at 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00. And the giraffes will be looking down at you all day.
MARC SANCHEZ: The Lions were sleeping. More of a bore than a roar. I tried to check out some cool, colorful parrots--
[PARROTS SQUAWKING]
--but I couldn't hear myself think over their terrible squawking. My visit was turning into a real stinker. And then, I came face to face, literally, with a gorilla. Her name was Alice.
[CLAIR DE LUNE PLAYING]
She was just sitting near a glass wall and chewing on some leaves. But when she locked eyes with me, it was like she was staring straight into my soul and saying, Marc, I get you. I get you too, Alice. We stared at each other for probably 10 minutes, but it felt like an hour. And when I left, it literally hurt like I was leaving a friend.
It's easy to put human emotions on these magnificent creatures. We share 98.3% of the same DNA. Go ahead. Look at your hands. You're basically looking at gorilla hands. Two opposable thumbs, fingerprints, and fingernails. In fact, they have opposable thumb-like toes too. Perfect for grabbing things and climbing trees in the forests of Central and West Africa.
[DRAMATIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
If you turn on the news pretty much any day, you'll find people yelling about politics, stories about climate change, or updates on how grocery prices have gone through the roof. I'm proud to be a human and all, but let's face it, our world is full of drama. Our primate pals on the other hand, they get it. For example--
[GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
--pop culture might lead us to believe gorillas are ferocious beasts.
[KING KONG ROARING]
Thanks, King Kong.
[GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
In reality, gorillas are calm, gentle giants. They're mainly vegetarians. Sure, their jaws are powerful enough to snap a tree branch, but that's just a fun party trick. Gorillas have a lot to teach us about family, too. Their troops are made up of anywhere between 5 to 50 primates with one main adult male. He's a leader called a silverback.
Also in the troop are adult females, young males and babies, too. Such cute babies. Oof. They show affection by grooming each other-- picking off turn and debris and parasites. Such great friends. They wrestle and roll and swing and play. They even tickle each other and laugh.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Once the younger males get to about eight years old, they usually set out on their own. Most wander alone for a few years until they're ready to lead their own family. Or if they're not the solitary type, some male gorillas form a bachelor troop with other males. Imagine living in a pack with all your besties.
[PARTY HORN]
[GROWLING]
MARC SANCHEZ: Plus, gorillas know how to relax. After they eat every day, they take a nap. I mean, first they fart.
[FARTS]
Actually, they fart all day long. Don't judge. You would too, if you were eating that many veggies.
But anyway, after napping, they eat some more. And then get this. They build a nest to sleep in for the night. That's right. You don't have to be a parrot to have a nest.
VOICE ACTOR AS GORILLA: Yo, Gro. What a long day of doing nothing. I'm exhausted.
VOICE ACTOR AS GRO: Yeah, buddy. But luckily, it's nap time. Time to nest up.
VOICE ACTOR AS GORILLA: And rest up.
[FARTS, LAUGHS]
Uh, hold on. Did gorillas invent a vacation? Maybe we should ask them. Have you ever heard of a gorilla named Koko?
["STAR-SPANGLED BANNER" PLAYING]
She was born July 4, 1971, at the San Francisco Zoo. She moved to a gorilla reserve in the Santa Cruz Mountains where her caregiver taught her to speak using sign language. It's been reported that Koko knew around 1,000 different words in gorilla sign language, and she understood about 2000 spoken words. Not only was Koko a lover of words, she was also a lover of cats.
[MEOWS]
Her favorite pal was a tiny kitten named All Ball. She would often cradle this little kitten and stare into its eyes like a protective, loving mother. Oh, man. Now I want to be held in strong gorilla arms, looked at like I'm the only other living thing in the world. Alice, here I come!
[PIANO MELODY]
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Marc pulling on our heartstrings there. I hope you and Alice get some snuggles later. Ani, what stood out to you about Marc's declaration of greatness.
ANI: When I was younger, I used to be really obsessed with Koko. I got all the National Geographic Junior books.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nice.
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah.
ANI: I love them all. And I especially loved Koko's story. I looked up like pictures of her. I read all of the articles. So that definitely worked for me.
Oh, you know what? I did use to want to be like a gorilla handler. And then I learned about health insurance.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, Shahla, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why gorillas are bore-rillas. You have got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
SHAHLA FARZAN: OK, first of all, you've seen one gorilla. You've basically seen them all. Like that one over there, black and hairy. That one also black and hairy. But parrots literally come in every color of the rainbow.
Also, how dare you talk about parrot poop when gorillas are farting all day long? So rude. And I had a feeling you were going to talk about Koko and sign language. And it looks super cool, but unfortunately, there's a lot of controversy around that sign language. And if you look at the videos, you can actually see her trainers prompting her, which I know is really sad.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Sorry, Marc. I'm sorry.
MARC SANCHEZ: Somebody went down the conspiracy hole.
[LAUGHS]
There's a lot of-- there is a lot of controversy around parrot intelligence, too.
ANI: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That is coming from somebody who said they spent a significant amount of time on parrot forums so that doesn't look good for you, Marc.
[LAUGHS]
MARC SANCHEZ: Wow! You have a great memory, Ani.
ANI: I know. I'm taking notes.
MARC SANCHEZ: I really like that about you. I like that.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Way to turn that around into a compliment for them. Man, Marc, good job.
ANI: Also, I think my heart was just broken. Prompted? This was, like, my entire childhood.
MARC SANCHEZ: Shahla Farzan ruins childhood. OK. Come on.
ANI: Fantastic.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, man!
MOLLY BLOOM: It is time to award some points. Give one point to the Declaration of Greatness you liked best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument.
Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic to die for? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?
ANI: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Marc and Shahla, how are you two feeling so far.
SHAHLA FARZAN: I'm feeling pretty good. I feel like we're just doing this on a wing and a prayer, Marc.
MARC SANCHEZ: I think that's pretty apt for parrot lover, but I think I'm in primate condition here.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Marc, time to walk the walk, talk the talk, squawk, the squawk.
[GIGGLES]
MARC SANCHEZ: I'll beat my chest to that.
SHAHLA FARZAN: I got a million of them. I got a million of them.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's time for a quick break. Preen your feathers and groom your friend's fur.
ANI: And we'll be right back with more "Smash Boom Best."
ANNOUNCER 1: You're listening to "State of Debate," home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Buongiorno, dynamic debaters. It's me, Taylor Lincoln with my cheesy chum Todd Douglas.
TODD DOUGLAS: Well, Buongiorno, to you too, Taylorino. Say, that's a lot of dough you've got there.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Do you mean these stacks of money or all this pizza dough?
TODD DOUGLAS: Gosh, both, I guess.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Well, thanks for noticing, Todd. I was just thinking about how rich I am. Rich with knowledge.
Just yesterday, my friend told me about a sticky, logical fallacy that I just can't toss. That's a debate mistake that makes your argument easy to defeat. Let's take a listen.
[TAPE ROLLS]
DANA: You look nice.
JAY: Well, thank you. So do you.
DANA: Do you have the tickets?
JAY: You bet I do. I was just thinking of whipping up a homemade pizza for us first.
DANA: But the symphony starts at 7:30. Let's just microwave up a frozen burrito and call it good.
JAY: One sad burrito? Frozen?
[SCOFFS]
No, Dana. Pizza's a better option. Pizzas have pizzazz. And you can personalize them with fresh herbs like parsley, sage, rosemary, and-- see, we have so much thyme.
DANA: Are you sure we have time? Pizzas take a while and it's getting pretty late.
JAY: Yes, we have plenty of thyme for the pizza. So what do you say? Shall we whip up a pizza real quick?
DANA: If you're sure we have enough time.
JAY: We have lots of thyme.
DANA: OK, then let's do it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you mean we have lots of time like T-I-M-E, as in minutes and seconds, or thyme like the herb T-H-Y-M-E? The green plant with a savory flavor?
- Yes.
[BUZZ]
TODD DOUGLAS: Ooh, that got spicy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You mean the pizza or the ambiguity fallacy?
TODD DOUGLAS: Definitely the ambiguity fallacy. That's when someone uses a double meaning or ambiguous language to mislead or represent the truth.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: That's right. You don't specify exactly what you're referring to so the other person can't agree or refute it. Like, how Jay tried to convince Dana that they should have pizza by telling her they had plenty of time, a.k.a. the herb. But Dana was worried about the other kind of time, being late.
TODD DOUGLAS: That fallacy is definitely too crusty to fold into a good argument--
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Or a pizza.
TODD DOUGLAS: I could really go for a pie right now.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Wait. A "pie" pie or a pizza pie?
TODD DOUGLAS: Exactly. We'll see you next time on--
BOTH: "State of Debate."
ANNOUNCER 2: "Brains On Universe" is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of "Smash Boom Best," we know you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore.
VOICE ACTOR AS ROBOT: Entering "Brains On Universe" to find my favorite podcasts.
[BEEP]
Brains On.
[BEEP]
"Smash Boom Best."
[BEEP]
"Forever Ago."
[GASP]
Picking up signal.
MAN 1: (SINGING) Buh buh ba buh ba buh ba ba buh Brains On.
VOICE ACTOR AS ROBOT: "Brains On," a science podcast for kids and families.
MOLLY BLOOM: One wild fact about Antarctica is that if you dig about a hundred feet underground, you can find traces of a tropical rainforest.
KID: Wait, what?
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
ACTOR AS ROBOT: Zorb, where did the signal go?
[BEEPING]
Must find "Brains On" now!
ANNOUNCER 2: Listen to "Brains On" wherever you get your podcasts.
MAN 2: "Smash Boom Best."
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to "Smash Boom Best." I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
ANI: And I'm your judge, Ani.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this prehistoric debate idea from Brendan.
BRENDAN: Hi, my name is Brendan and I'm from California. My idea is dinosaurs versus jellyfishes.
ANI: Two very special species.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back at the end of this episode to see which side Brendan thinks should win.
ANI: And now it's back to our debate, parrots versus gorillas.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the Micro Round. For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance.
Shahla and Marc were challenged to be my roommate, where they had to write a roommate listing that describes how great they are to live with and what they're looking for in a roomie. Shahla went first last time so, Marc, you're up. Give us the goods on living with a gorilla.
VOICE ACTOR AS SPENCE G. GORILLA: Calming? Curious? Looking for a roommate? Hey, I'm Spence and I'm looking for a new roomie who can hang with me and the rest of my troop.
We pretty much do everything together. It's the best. You are not going to believe our pad. It's wild, literally.
We've got super cozy sleep spaces for everyone with fresh nests every day. Our furniture is on the organic side as it's made of branches and leaves. I don't know. We like it. You just got to see it.
If you're new to the area, no problemo. I know all the best spots to eat. Heck, I lead my troop every day to find the best food around. There's no way you're going to go hungry with this, fam.
OK, a couple quick things about you. You should be skilled at swinging on branches and vines. It would be great if you're also into grooming. So, we pick the bugs off you, you do the same for us. Win, win.
We're pretty strict vegetarians here, and we ask that you be the same. Our house is also FF. That's fart friendly so you got to be able to roll with the wind.
Lastly, and this might sound weird, but you must be female. Sorry bros. Us gorilla dudes get pretty competitive and I'm not looking to show off feats of strength right now.
You feel me? Cool. Hit me up with any questions. Spence G. Gorilla.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Spence. Sounds like you'd be a pretty good roommate. Shahla?
MARC SANCHEZ: The best.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Shahla, it's your turn. Tell us why a parrot would be a great living partner.
VOICE ACTOR AS GARY: Hi, I'm Gary. Are you looking for a fun loving and outgoing flock mate? Me too.
Squawk! Come and share my one room, one birdbath apartment in the beautiful Florida Keys. It's full of lush, tropical plants and delicately scented flowers.
[SNIFFS]
You'll feel like you're on vacation whenever you step inside. Plus, I always keep plates of delicious all-you-can-eat fresh fruit and nuts scattered around the house. Mangoes, papaya, pineapple, papaya, melon, more papaya. Seriously, it's a fruit lover's paradise.
No need to purchase an expensive gym membership. I've installed a state of the art ropes course for us to play out together. Plus, don't worry about bringing your own purchase. I've got plenty!
I put down fresh newspaper on the floors every day, and you can even use my dropped feathers for craft projects free of charge. And if you love spontaneous dance parties and squawking at the top of your lungs whenever the mood strikes you, you're in luck. There's nothing better than bobbing your head up and down and turning around in circles to your favorite song after a long day at work, am I right? OK, one things better-- papaya!
I love to go to bed early, as soon as it gets dark. So you'll have the apartment all to yourself at night. And if you get lonely, there are plenty of mirrors around to keep you company. The best part? Monthly rent is only one plate of fresh papaya.
It's a steal. Can't wait to meet you and your papaya, of course. Squawk! I love papaya. Squawk!
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. I also love papayas. So that sounded pretty good to live with Gary as well. Oh, man. All right, Ani, what did you like about those two Micro Rounds?
ANI: Wow! Well, Gary's room sounds quite appealing. I love the cheap rent, especially with the housing market nowadays.
[LAUGHS]
The fresh nests sound lovely. Swinging, I'm a huge fan of that. So that's also something interesting to look into.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is a tough decision, but it's time to award a point. Don't tell us who it's going to. Have you made your decision?
ANI: I have.
[BELL CHIMES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for our third round, the super stealthy--
MAN 3: Ha ha hoo ha!
MOLLY BLOOM: Sneak Attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's Sneak Attack is called, End it on a High Note. On the fly, I want you to come up with a bedtime story designed to put little children to sleep.
As the story goes on, however, your voice needs to get progressively higher--
[LAUGHS]
--and more falsetto. You have 30 seconds to complete your story. Does this make sense, debaters?
SHAHLA FARZAN: (SINGING) Yes, it does!
MARC SANCHEZ: Yes, it does.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Shahla, you're going to start. Let's hear your bedtime story about parrots. Your 30 seconds starts now.
SHAHLA FARZAN: This is the story of two best friends named Prunella the Parrot and Georgie the Gorilla. They met when they were little babies, no bigger than a grape. And they were best, best, best friends and they did everything together. They clipped each other's toenails. They read comic books.
And then one day, Georgie said, I wish that I could fly just like you, Prunella. And Prunella said, I will make you wings, Georgie. And so Prunella was such a smart parrot.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
SHAHLA FARZAN: She made him wings.
[GIGGLES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Lovely. Wow. That story really went somewhere, which is not easy to do in only 30 seconds.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Did some weird voices, though. I don't know. I went real British with that one. Sorry, guys.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, you just down slipped into some accent.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Yeah. We kind of slipped in and out there.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's OK. All right, Marc, it is your turn. Let's hear your bedtime story about gorillas.
MARC SANCHEZ: This is a story about Sam, the baby gorilla who went out with his silverback troop leader. And they went out and Sam was very sad because his friend Prunella, the Bird flew off and left him. But the silverback was distracting and played with him and tickled him. And Sam forgot all about that evil, evil bird who left poor baby little Sam, unfriended him. It's like a social media but in the jungle. And he--
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MARC SANCHEZ: --went to sleep in a bush.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: How high can your voice really go, Marc?
MARC SANCHEZ: (SINGING) He went to sleep in the nest.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow! Amazing. Well done, both of you. But, Ani, only one of them can get a point for these high notes, these beautiful stories. Have you made your decision?
ANI: Yes, I have.
[BELL CHIMES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for our final round. The Final Six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Marc, let's hear your six words for the glory of gorillas.
MARC SANCHEZ: Learn life lessons through primate pals.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, lovely.
MARC SANCHEZ: They're here for us.
MOLLY BLOOM: Shahla, it is your turn. Tell us why parrots are the priority.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Parrots save lives. Gorillas can't fly.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, very good. Excellent final sixes from both of you.
MARC SANCHEZ: Shots fired in that Final Six. Come on.
SHAHLA FARZAN: Did you think that was really good? Did you think it was "im-peck-cable?" A "McCaw-some" Final Six?
MARC SANCHEZ: To me it sounded like a big squawking pandemonium, which is what parrots are called, the flocks.
SHAHLA FARZAN: No, no, it's OK. I know that we both know it was 24 parrot gold. So I mean, we should just agree-- we should just agree it was really great.
MARC SANCHEZ: Speaking of gold, Ani, are you still open for gold?
ANI: I am. I am.
MARC SANCHEZ: Great. Great to know.
ANI: Yeah, but we can actually figure that out after the round, I think. You and I can just--
MARC SANCHEZ: Either way.
ANI: Like a business call or whatever.
MOLLY BLOOM: Business call.
ANI: Figure it out.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ani, it is time to award a final point for this Final Six. Have you made your decision?
ANI: I have made my decision.
[BELL CHIMES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
ANI: I am.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, my goodness. Drum roll, please. And the winner is--
[DRUM ROLL]
ANI: Parrots.
MARC SANCHEZ: No!
SHAHLA FARZAN: Oh, yay! Yes!
MARC SANCHEZ: My gorillas.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, wow!
MARC SANCHEZ: I think I need to go back to the zoo to get a hug.
MOLLY BLOOM: Honey, was it close? Was this a tough debate?
ANI: It was. It was pretty close. It came down to the Final Six. And while I love the alliteration. The gorillas can't fly, that was tough to beat.
MARC SANCHEZ: Rude. I think it's the word you're looking for.
ANI: Well, yeah.
MARC SANCHEZ: I mean, we do swing. I'm not going to argue this anymore.
[LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: I'm sorry, Marc, but you did a really great job.
MARC SANCHEZ: Thank you.
SHAHLA FARZAN: I honestly was so-- I was shaking in my boots when I listened to your Declaration of Greatness, Marc, because you covered so many points that I hadn't even thought of about gorillas. Gorillas are incredible, and they're super smart, and they're so kind. And you just did such a good job summarizing it.
And side note, I already love gorillas because I had a stuffed gorilla when I was a kid named Willie. So I was harboring a secret love in my heart that I never told you about. And now I'm coming clean. I'm coming clean. You did an amazing job.
MARC SANCHEZ: Shahla, I will come clean as well because I had a parakeet as a child.
[GASP]
SHAHLA FARZAN: You did? Aw.
MARC SANCHEZ: Its name was Shamrock. And then it flew away and then we got Shamrock 2.
[LAUGHS]
And I adored the birds. And I really loved hearing from your dad. He was so sweet. And I loved how he talked about the parrot being part of your family.
That's really relatable to any pet. And I'm sure you have fond memories of your African gray. And it was fun to hear about it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, that is it for today's Smash Boom battle. Ani crowned parrots the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
ANI: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: "Smash Boom Best" is brought to you by "Brains On" and APM Studios. It's produced by Molly Bloom.
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: And?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Derek Ramirez with sound design by Anna Weggel. Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Shahla Farzan.
MOLLY BLOOM: And?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we had production help from the rest of the "Brains On Universe" team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie DuPont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Anna Goldfield.
NICOL GONZALEZ WISLER: Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMPERT: Lauren Humpert.
JESS MILLER: Jess Miller.
JOSHUA RAY: Joshua Ray.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
MOLLY BLOOM: And?
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: Charlotte Traver.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Perlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Shahla, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
SHAHLA FARZAN: I want to thank my dad, Ali, for talking with me all about Baby, and also the whole Brains On universe team. You guys are so fun to work with.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw, Shahla. How about you, Marc? Any special shout outs?
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, I got to thank my troop. Vicki and goldendoodle, Ella, and my daughter Koko, who, by the way, has the same name as a very famous gorilla. So shout out to both Kokos.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Ani? Any special thanks or shout outs?
ANI: Yeah, I'd like to give a special shout out to Olive and Josie who listened to the show. Also, my violin teachers' kids. So yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, Olive and Josie. Thank you for listening. Before we go, let's check in and see who Brendan thinks should win the dinosaurs versus jellyfish debate.
BRENDAN: I think jellyfishes should win because jellyfishes have been around even before the dinosaurs and they have more facts to learn about.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good point, Brendan. If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you are any age and you have an idea for a knock-down drag-out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line.
And make sure to subscribe to "Brains On Universe" on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a new "Smash Boom Best" debate battle next week. Tah-tah!
MARC SANCHEZ: Going, going--
SHAHLA FARZAN: See you later.
MARC SANCHEZ: --gorilla gone!
[THEME MUSIC] Oh, you're the smash boom best
Oh, put you through the test Oh you're the smash boom best Oh, better than the rest You're the smash boom best You're the smash boom best
MARC SANCHEZ: Going, going, gorilla gone!
[LAUGHS]
SHAHLA FARZAN: Wait, what did you just say, Marc?
MARC SANCHEZ: I can't tell if you liked that or hated it.
[LAUGHS]
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