Weekends vs. Vacations
Emily C. Bernstein for APM Studios
Today’s debate is a break from all of life’s troubles. It’s Weekends vs. Vacations! Actor and comedian Brad Milison wows us with weekend wonder, while actor, writer and comedian Melanie Johnson vies for vacations! Who will be crowned the Smash Boom Best? Vote below for the team YOU think won!
Also… do you have your Smarty Pass yet? Get yours today for just $4/month (or $36/year) and get bonus episodes every month, and ad-free versions of every episode of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Moment of Um and Forever Ago. Visit www.smartypass.org to get your Smarty Pass today. As an added bonus, your Smarty Pass will grant you access to a super special debate starring Sanden and Molly!
Audio Transcript
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ANNOUNCER: From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.
TRUMAN: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom. And this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a break from all of life's troubles. It's a two-day stay versus a relaxing romp. It's weekends versus vacations. We've got actor and comedian Brad Milison ready to wow us with wonder for team weekends.
BRAD MILISON: (SINGING) Here I am debating bait him for the weekend.
[LAUGHTER]
MELANIE JOHNSON: That's really good.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we have actor, writer, and comedian Melanie Johnson here to vie for victory for team vacations.
MELANIE JOHNSON: What's up, vacation nation? Time for a celebration.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Truman from Stillwater, Minnesota. Truman has been studying ballet since he was five, has three dogs, and loves to create art, including Halloween-themed clay sculptures. Hi, Truman.
TRUMAN: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Truman, what do you love about ballet?
TRUMAN: I love just the art and every different combination that you can mix to make such a beautiful piece of art that isn't just-- like, you hear it, or you see it, but it's moving, and it's changing.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm. That's really wonderful. So your Halloween sculptures, what's your favorite one you've made so far?
TRUMAN: I've only made one, but it was Stranger Things themed.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nice.
BRAD MILISON: Oh.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you like dressing up for Halloween?
TRUMAN: I love dressing up for Halloween.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you know what you're going to be this coming Halloween yet?
TRUMAN: I don't know quite yet. I love anything scary but not too scary or anything completely unserious.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh. What were you last year?
TRUMAN: I was Hamilton from the American musical Hamilton.
MOLLY BLOOM: Uh-huh, excellent. So you've been a judge before. Do you have any advice for our debaters today?
TRUMAN: Make me laugh and anything musical-themed, singing.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Well, Brad's already got that.
BRAD MILISON: [CHUCKLES]
TRUMAN: Things relating to musicals that I'd know.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh.
MOLLY BLOOM: Good to know. We are ready for singing. We are ready for laughing. We are ready for dancing-- too bad it's a podcast. So will Truman side with Brad or Melanie? Only time will tell. Before we dive in, let's review the rules of the game.
Every debate consists of four rounds-- the declaration of greatness, the micro-round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Truman, will award a point to the team that impresses him the most, but he'll keep his decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won.
OK. Brad, Melanie, and Truman, are you ready?
TRUMAN: Let's go.
So ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the--
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin. And Brad, you're up first. Tell us why weekends should win.
[BELL RINGS]
MONDAY: I'm starving. Tuesday, what'd you bring for lunch?
TUESDAY: Tacos. You want any, Monday? They're beef.
MONDAY: Ugh. You know I'm vegetarian. Haven't you ever heard of Meatless Monday? [SIGHS]
WEDNESDAY: Hey, Thursday. Does my hump look weird today?
THURSDAY: Wednesday, for the last time, you don't have a hump. People just call you hump day because you're in the middle of the week.
[SQUEALS]
[GASPING]
TUESDAY: It's Saturday and Sunday.
[COOL MUSIC]
MONDAY: There's so cool.
THURSDAY: Ugh. Look how chill and relaxed they are.
TUESDAY: What do Saturday and Sunday call themselves again?
ALL: The weekend.
TUESDAY: What is it that makes the weekend so great?
[BELL RINGS]
BRAD MILISON: That's a great question, and I'm here with some answers. The best thing about the weekend is it can be whatever you want it to be. It's a blank slate, endlessly customizable to whatever floats your boat, like movie and pizza nights, sleepovers, sleeping in, playing video games inside, playing sports outside, watching Saturday morning cartoons, reading a book or two, skating, or going to the park. You can even go on a full day trip somewhere, like to an amusement park, or an overnight trip, like camping. You can do all of this on a weekend.
[HOOTS]
MAN 1: Just finished setting up the tent. Let's get the s'mores going.
MAN 2: I got to say, this weekend was so fun. But [YAWNS] I'm so tired. Why did we do everything that man listed?
MAN 1: Because he said we could do it all in a weekend.
MAN 2: I don't think we were supposed to take it literally.
MAN 1: Well, you know what the good news is. We can relax next weekend.
[HIGH-FIVES]
Yeah! Nice.
BRAD MILISON: Exactly. Even if your weekend doesn't go exactly as planned, the good news is that there's a brand new one waiting right around the corner for you. There are 52 weekends in a year. That's 104 days, which means you're enjoying a sweet, sweet weekend almost a third of the year. Meanwhile, if things go wrong on your vacation, that's going to be nothing short of a disaster because who knows when the next one is? But if you need even more proof about how important weekends are, imagine this.
[SNORING]
Monday morning, 7:00 AM.
[ALARM RINGS]
Rise and shine. Time for school.
[SNORING]
Tuesday morning, 7:00 AM.
[ALARM RINGS]
School is waiting.
[SNORING]
Wednesday morning, 7:00 AM. Up and at them, the school bus is going to be here soon.
[SNORING]
Thursday morning, 7:00 AM. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.
[SNORING]
Friday morning, 7:00 AM. It's school o'clock somewhere.
[SNORING]
Monday morning, 7:00 AM. Time for school.
STUDENT: Hey, wait a second. It was just Friday. Now it's Monday again.
[FRUSTRATED SCREAM]
BRAD MILISON: Because that's what a world without weekends would look like, no Saturday sleepovers or Sunday fun day, just endless school over and over again. Even taking the most amazing vacation in the world once a year wouldn't be enough to save you from that horror.
STUDENT: I just want to sleep. I need a weekend.
BRAD MILISON: Sorry for the nightmare fuel of a world with an endless school cycle. But the point is, you can imagine life without vacations, but just try to imagine life without weekends. You can't. That's because vacations are a nice treat, but weekends are absolutely necessary. Whether we decide to use that time to have fun, stay busy, or relax, we wouldn't be able to function without relying on the reset the weekend offers us. So next time you run across Saturday and Sunday--
WEEKDAYS: The weekend.
BRAD MILISON: --make sure you say thanks.
MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you, weekend. I got to say thanks. I love the weekend. So Truman, what stood out to you about Brad's declaration of greatness?
TRUMAN: I loved how you were able to put a school in my head without even mentioning that they were at school because I instantly was like, oh, that sounds like a lunchroom.
BRAD MILISON: Yeah?
TRUMAN: I loved that, and I thought it was hilarious.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well done. OK, Melanie. It is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why weekends are weak. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh, snooze. This is a lot of big talk for two puny days of the week. Why have a weekend when you can have a week off? OK, Brad tried to make weekends sound really cool. But the reality is, you're probably like me. You sleep in a little, maybe eat some cereal, maybe watch a made-for-TV movie on the couch. Whereas on a vacation, you're at the beach, you're camping, you're traveling to a distant land, you're being spontaneous and adventurous.
OK. Brad saying that vacations are a treat, and weekends are essential? It's the other way around. Weekends and vacations transcend.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
BRAD MILISON: Interesting. Interesting, Melanie.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Yeah.
BRAD MILISON: Yeah. That's one way to view weekends. But as I've clearly shown, I feel differently.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Hey. Hey, Brad, one question for you. Didn't you just get back from an epic 10-day long Italian vacation with your family? Would you have preferred that was just a weekend?
BRAD MILISON: It was 14 days, actually.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh ho ho.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Case closed. Thank you very much, making my point for me.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] OK. Melanie, it is your turn. Tell us why you're a citizen of vacation nation.
EMCEE: It's the moment you've been waiting for. It's time for the weekends versus vacations rap battle!
TEAM VACATIONS: (RAPPING) Oh, I'm team vacations
What is up
I can't believe weekends even showed up
This weekend dude said my week is packed
I said, hey, man, your schedule is wack
Living weekend to weekend
Oh, how sad
I'm off to the Bahamas with my mom and my dad
See ya
EMCEE: Team weekends, what you got?
TEAM WEEKENDS: Um. [CLEARS THROAT] Yeah, yeah. Uh.
(RAPPING) Vacations are wack 'cause we got snacks
Saturday, Sunday, two fun days at the park or the Mall It's about to get crazy
Yeah
Are you feeling it?
[BOOING]
TEAM VACATIONS: Hey. Go easy on team weekends.
(RAPPING) It's not his fault he got the short end of the week
Why choose two days
How about 15
Vacations are longer and all-around better
You're sipping on a drink with a tiny umbrella or chilling with the fellas
On the weekends, you just eat a jar of Nutella or babysit your sis named Gabriella.
TEAM WEEKENDS: Oh. Is it too late to switch sides?
EMCEE: Unfortunately, yes. Vacation wins!
MELANIE JOHNSON: Everybody wants to be on team vacations, and it's no wonder why. Vacations are for ultimate relaxation. It's all fun, no worries, no chores--
JILLY'S DAD: Jilly, have you cleaned your room yet?
JILLY: Not yet, Dad. Ugh.
MELANIE JOHNSON: --no homework--
[BELL RINGS]
TEACHER: Class, don't forget to read your 250 pages of The Iliad by Monday. And bring back your algebra worksheets and turn in your essay on the history of car insurance and its effects on the American South. Again, by Monday. Enjoy your weekend.
STUDENT: Ugh!
MELANIE JOHNSON: --and of course, no--
WOMAN 1: Sunday scaries.
MELANIE JOHNSON: You know that feeling when it's Sunday. You're relaxing, hanging with your friends, playing video games, or watching a movie. And it's all fun and games until you remember, school is tomorrow. Your precious weekend is almost over, and it'll be five full days before it's here again. You feel a chill on the back of your neck. You break into a cold sweat.
WOMAN 1: Sunday scaries.
MELANIE JOHNSON: That's the Sunday scaries, my dudes. And it's a real thing. Lots of news outlets like The Wall Street Journal and Washing Post have reported on it.
MAN 3: Ooh, fancy.
MELANIE JOHNSON: People often feel more anxiety and stress on Sundays, particularly in the evening, when the dread of the coming week sets in. But the Sunday scaries don't exist on vacation because on vacation, you forget what day it is.
WOMAN 2: We're on vacation. Who needs a calendar? More like a calen-don't. [LAUGHS]
MELANIE JOHNSON: Vacations are also amazing because they expand your horizons. And I'm about to get personal here because this is something I've experienced firsthand.
You see, in 2021, I was at the lowest point in my life. A very important relationship had just ended. I was aimless, jobless, and I didn't have a place to live. Life was pretty bleak, so I decided to take a two-month trip around the world. I went to New York City to visit my cousin and Washington, DC to visit my brother. Then I ventured across the pond to London, took a train to Scotland, and a quick flight to Ireland.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
It was an amazing vacation because I got to reconnect with people who love me, who could support me during a tough time. But it was also transformational. I did so many things on that vacation that scared me. I navigated confusing bus and train schedules. I drove a stick shift car in a bustling city, asked for directions from strangers, and ate dinner alone. I proved to myself how strong I was.
Sure, a trip can't fix all your problems. But when I got home, I was ready to pick myself up, dust myself off, and restart my life. Vacations are like that. They're fun, sure, but they're also for healing and transformation. They're for making memories, meeting people, gaining a deeper appreciation of the world around you, for other people and for yourself. Listen, I love weekends. Who doesn't? But vacations have changed me.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, an inspiring and heartfelt argument there for vacations. Truman, what stood out to you about Melanie's declaration of greatness?
TRUMAN: The sentiment to it was amazing. And then the rap in the beginning was absolutely perfect, wouldn't change a thing about it.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Brad. It is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why we should have reservations about vacations. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
BRAD MILISON: OK, Melanie says they're relaxing. What about these things to consider? Time zones. If you're traveling across the country or the globe, you have to deal with jet lag, which affects your sleep schedule, which brings me to beds. It's a complete toss up whether you'll have a comfortable bed at your destination. There's always someone that has to take the creaky rollaway cot or the sore-back-inducing sofa bed.
Lastly, packing for vacations is so stressful. It's a four-day trip? Great, I'll bring 7 pairs of socks, 10 pairs of underwear, 6 pairs of shoes, and 14 outfit changes. And when I get home, I'll leave the suitcase in the corner unpacked for three weeks. Gosh, I love vacation.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Wow, that felt perfectly planned.
BRAD MILISON: It was.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Truman. It is time to award some points. Please give one point for the declaration of greatness you liked best and one point for the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic to die for? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?
TRUMAN: Yes.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Melanie and Brad, how are you two feeling so far?
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh my gosh.
BRAD MILISON: I'm OK. Melanie's coming in pretty hot with some-- she was ready.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I'm passionate.
BRAD MILISON: Maybe I was a little too comfortable, yeah.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I'm passionate about my vacations.
BRAD MILISON: Clearly.
MELANIE JOHNSON: And so is Brad. He's sporting an incredible base tan from his Italian vacay away.
BRAD MILISON: Melanie's bringing in insider information. My Italian trip has nothing to do with this debate.
MELANIE JOHNSON: It has everything to do with--
MOLLY BLOOM: What happens when friends debate friends. All right. It is time for a quick break. Pack your bags and hit the pool.
TRUMAN: And we'll be right back with more. Smash Boom Best.
ANNOUNCER: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hello, debate heads. I'm Todd Douglas, and I'm here with the one and only--
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Taylor Lincoln. And it must be a day ending in a Y because we just found a logical fallacy.
TODD DOUGLAS: Logical fallacies are debate no-nos that make your argument easy to defeat. Let's listen.
PEGGY: Look, Dirk, over there. It's a northern cardinal.
DIRK: Oh, I see it, Peggy. It's gorgeous. [SIGHS] Is there anything better than bird-watching on a Sunday morning?
PEGGY: I can't imagine there is.
DIRK: And is there any bird better than the beautiful northern cardinal?
PEGGY: I mean, maybe. There are a lot of birds out there.
DIRK: What? You're saying you hate the northern cardinal? It's an incredible bird! Look at its red feathers, its distinguished beak, the elegant bounce in its step. How can you hate this avian work of art?
PEGGY: Settle down, Dirk. There are other birds in the world. Just because I don't think the cardinal is the best doesn't mean I hate it.
DIRK: It's the northern cardinal, you fiend. And if you don't love it, well, you hate it.
[BUZZER]
TODD DOUGLAS: Whoa. Those two may have been bird-watchers, but they were far from birds of a feather.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: I'll say. Dirk was using the false dichotomy fallacy, also known as the black and white fallacy. That's when a person makes it seem like there are only two choices available when there are more.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah, not loving the northern cardinal isn't the same as hating it. Hey, you know what all this bird talk is putting me in the mood for?
TAYLOR LINCOLN: A frittata?
TODD DOUGLAS: No! Bird-watching. Grab your binoculars and meet me outside.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: We'll see you next time on--
TODD AND TAYLOR: State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER: Brains On universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, we know you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on. Let's explore.
COMPUTER: Entering Brains On universe to find my favorite podcasts. Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Forever Ago. [GASPS] Picking up signal. Forever Ago, the history show hosted by Joy Dolo.
[BEEPING]
JOY DOLO: Welcome to--
[GRAND MUSIC]
--Joy's Hall of Stalls. Every door in this hall leads to a different model of toilet from throughout history. You want a potty like it's 1999?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Right this way.
COMPUTER: [GASPS] Zorp! Where did the signal go? Must find Forever Ago now!
[EXPLODES]
ANNOUNCER: Listen to Forever Ago wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 1: Smash.
SPEAKER 2: Boom.
SPEAKER 3: Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
TRUMAN: And I'm your judge, Truman.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this timely debate idea from Aya.
AYA: Hi, I'm Aya. And my debate idea is night versus day.
TRUMAN: That's a shining example of a great debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Aya thinks should win.
TRUMAN: And now it's back to our debate, weekends versus vacations.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the--
ANNOUNCER: Micro-round.
MOLLY BLOOM: For the micro-round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. We asked Brad and Melanie to come up with an infomercial advertising their side. Brad went first last time. So Melanie, you're up. Tell us why vacations are vital.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Are weekends leaving you feeling more exhausted than relaxed?
SPEAKER 4: The lawn needs cutting.
[LAWN MOWER WHIRS]
SPEAKER 5: Don't forget to clean your room.
[VACUUM WHIRS]
SPEAKER 6: You said you were going to help me cut Tiger's nails, remember?
[CAT MEOWS]
MELANIE JOHNSON: You might need a vacation.
SPEAKER 7: Wow. Where am I? How did I end up in this ridiculously comfortable hammock right on the beach? And how did this ice cream cone get in my hand? Mm, strawberry. [SIGHS]
But wait, something's missing.
MELANIE JOHNSON: What? What could possibly be missing? You've got the beach, the ice cream, the incredible Tiki jams.
SPEAKER 7: It's my worries. They're nowhere to be found!
MELANIE JOHNSON: Nice one.
SPEAKER 7: Oh, yeah. I could get used to this.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Grab your flip-flops, camping gear, or snow boots and actually unwind. Vacations, they're all the fun of weekends without any of the annoying, stressful, or irritating stuff.
SPEAKER 7: I love vacations.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Disclaimer, your vacation may leave you feeling impossibly relaxed, rejuvenated, and re-enamored with the world around you. Math homework, chores, and piano lessons definitely not included. Terms and conditions apply.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. I'm calling right now to order 12 of those A dozen vacations, please.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Right?
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Brad, it is your turn. Tell us why weekends are everyone's best friends.
[ENGINE ROARING]
KEN DEE: Life moving by too fast? Hard to catch your breath when you feel like you're just going to school or work over and over again?
[CRASHES]
Sounds like you need a weekend!
[HORNS BLARING]
That's right. My name is Ken Dee, owner of Weekends, the one-stop shop for all your weekend needs. Our warehouse offers an infinite amount of weekends you can peruse at your leisure.
[OOHING]
Can't visit us in person? We'll send you our 10,000-page catalog stuffed with all the ways you can build your own weekend. We've been around for hundreds of years for a reason. People need weekends!
[CHEERING]
VACATION DEPOT: Vacation. Vacation.
KEN DEE: Uh-oh. That's the sound of our competitor, Vacation Depot, trying to call you away from our endless array of amazing weekend options.
[BOOING]
Here's what I say to them. Why go buy one fancy-pants vacation and plan for fun in the distant future when you can have fun every single weekend? Why spend a lot of money at Vacation Depot when you can snag an awesome weekend for absolutely no money at all. That's right. For zero payments of $0, you get a weekend. Plus, everyone from kids to adults to parakeets can get a weekend. We don't turn anyone away.
[PARAKEET TWEETING]
So hurry in now, even though this offer will last long.
[CHEERING]
[HORN HONKS]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. That also sounds amazing. Put me down for 52 of those, please. Thank you so much. OK, Truman. What did you like about Brad and Melanie's micro-rounds?
TRUMAN: I did really like the infomercial vibe from Brad.
BRAD MILISON: Thanks.
TRUMAN: And Melanie came in with a very strong sell, very good advertising. Really liked both of them.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent sales technique here all around. But Truman, only one of them can get a point, so please award a point for whichever micro-round you deem best. Have you made your decision?
TRUMAN: Yes.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Then it's time for our third round, the super stealth--
[CHANTING]
ANNOUNCER: Sneak attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called Say My Name, Say My Name. When it's your turn, you have 10 seconds to convince us that your side is the best by only using the words in the name of your side. After your opponent goes, you get to do a five-second rebuttal using your opponent's name.
How expressive can you be? Don't hold back. You can make sound effects with your mouth. For example, if I was arguing for team cats, I would say, cat, cat, meow, roar, cat, cat. We're going to start with Brad. Let's hear your rendition of Say My Name for team weekends. Your 10 seconds starts now.
BRAD MILISON: Week, ends, week, ends. Weekends. Weekends! [SIGHS] Weekends. Weekends? [CHUCKLES] Weekends.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
[LAUGHTER]
MELANIE JOHNSON: That was great.
MOLLY BLOOM: I like that little mischievous one at the end.
TRUMAN: Amazing.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Yeah, it's very sneaky.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Melanie. It's your turn. Let's hear your five-second rebuttal only using the word weekend. Your five seconds starts now.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Weekend? [SCOFFS] Weekend? Weekend, week, end, week.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
MELANIE JOHNSON: End.
BRAD MILISON: On the nose.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good. Very good. All right, Melanie. You get to go again. Let's hear your 10-second argument for vacations using only the name of your side. On your mark, get set, go!
MELANIE JOHNSON: Vacations! Va-cations. Vaca-tions. Va-ca-tions. Vacations? Va. Va-va-vacations. Vacations.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Vacations.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Brad. It's time for your five-second rebuttal. Using only the word vacation. Your time starts now!
BRAD MILISON: [SCOFFS] Vacations. Vacation? Vaca-tion.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
BRAD MILISON: Vacation.
[LAUGHTER]
MELANIE JOHNSON: I feel shunned.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Truman, it is time to award a point for this sneak attack. Think about which side impressed you the most and award your fourth point, but don't tell us who it's going to. Have you made your decision?
TRUMAN: Yes!
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for our final round.
ANNOUNCER: The final six.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Melanie, let's hear your six words for how very important vacations are.
MELANIE JOHNSON: New places, faces? Vacations are aces.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, a little rhyme. OK. Brad, it is your turn. Tell us about the wonder of the weekend in just six words.
BRAD MILISON: Vacations are temporary. Weekends are forever! [ECHOES]
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: The echo.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Is that you falling off a cliff?
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Truman, you've heard it all. Our debaters have done an excellent job, but it is time to award one final point for this final six. All right.
TRUMAN: I have awarded the final point.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oof, wonderful work. Truman, are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
TRUMAN: I am.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Drum roll, please. And the winner is--
TRUMAN: Vacations!
BRAD MILISON: Oh!
MELANIE JOHNSON: Yes! Thank you, Truman. Team vacations!
MOLLY BLOOM: So Truman, what was your favorite part of the debate?
TRUMAN: You opened my eyes to how life-changing vacations can be because I realized that there is a lot of different vacations that can just completely change everything for you. And weekends are amazing, and I love them. And the debate was awesome. But I also did see eye to eye with some of the disagreements towards weekends. I did also really like-- I think that these two go hand in hand because you could have a vacation on a weekend.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm. So true.
BRAD MILISON: That's true.
TRUMAN: Yeah. I just thought it was amazing. I thought every single piece was great. Close battle.
MOLLY BLOOM: Definitely.
TRUMAN: Won by a single point.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oof, as close as close can be.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Well, Brad is so hilarious. I was shaking in my boots when Truman said, make me laugh, because no one makes me laugh like Brad.
BRAD MILISON: Aw.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I gained a new appreciation for weekends as well in hearing Brad talk about them. I'm team vacations first, but I think he kind of won me over as a team weekends as well.
BRAD MILISON: Melanie came in prepared. She really blew me away with just how ready she was for this. And also, the personal side of things is very huge. And it also affected me, and I appreciate vacations for that reason.
MOLLY BLOOM: Lovely. You know what my favorite thing is? Going on a vacation, coming home, and then having a weekend after my vacation.
BRAD MILISON: Mm-hmm, that combo.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Yes.
BRAD MILISON: One combo.
MOLLY BLOOM: That combo Is key.
MELANIE JOHNSON: To relax into the week.
BRAD MILISON: Why are we fighting? We need to team up. We need to--
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Let's combine our powers.
TRUMAN: Work together.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Batman and Robin.
BRAD MILISON: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes.
TRUMAN: But who's Batman?
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
BRAD MILISON: I will be.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I think I'm Batman.
BRAD MILISON: I guess I'll be Batman. Yeah.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I think that's probably vacations.
BRAD MILISON: I'm 6' 5". I guess I'm taller.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I guess that is true.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for today's debate battle. Truman crowned vacations the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?
TRUMAN: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios. It's produced by Molly Bloom--
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Erik Stromstad and Sarah Dealy with sound design by Anna Weggel. Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Shahla Farzan.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On universe team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie duPont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Anna Goldfield.
NICO GONZALEZ WISLER: Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMPERT: Lauren Humpert.
JESS MILLER: Jess Miller.
JOSHUA RAY: Joshua Ray.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: Charlotte Traver.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios executives-in-charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross, Taylor Kaufman, Phoebe Bowers, and Coco Sanchez. Brad, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout-out to today?
BRAD MILISON: Just a shout-out to my friend Mel, who's sitting across from me, because this was so much fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw. And how about you, Melanie? Any special shout-outs?
MELANIE JOHNSON: I want to shout-out Brad, who's sitting right across from me. It's so much fun doing this with a friend. He's a great one.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw. And how about you, Truman? Any special thanks or shout-outs?
TRUMAN: I would like to shout-out my mom for bringing me here and being such a light in my life.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw! These are the sweetest thank-yous ever. Before we go, let's check in and see who Aya thinks should win the night versus day debate.
AYA: I think night would win because you can have sleepovers, and I think it would be more fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down, drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line. And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a new Smash Boom Best debate battle next week.
TRUMAN: See you later.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, put it through the test
Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, better than the rest
It's a Smash Boom Best
It's a Smash Boom Best
MOLLY BLOOM: That makes sense.
BRAD MILISON: No. I think, yeah. I think they're going to be pleased. Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is--
MELANIE JOHNSON: That doesn't make any sense at all.
MOLLY BLOOM: I would say, this is the silliest of sneak attacks.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh, heck yeah.
TRUMAN: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom. And this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a break from all of life's troubles. It's a two-day stay versus a relaxing romp. It's weekends versus vacations. We've got actor and comedian Brad Milison ready to wow us with wonder for team weekends.
BRAD MILISON: (SINGING) Here I am debating bait him for the weekend.
[LAUGHTER]
MELANIE JOHNSON: That's really good.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we have actor, writer, and comedian Melanie Johnson here to vie for victory for team vacations.
MELANIE JOHNSON: What's up, vacation nation? Time for a celebration.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Truman from Stillwater, Minnesota. Truman has been studying ballet since he was five, has three dogs, and loves to create art, including Halloween-themed clay sculptures. Hi, Truman.
TRUMAN: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Truman, what do you love about ballet?
TRUMAN: I love just the art and every different combination that you can mix to make such a beautiful piece of art that isn't just-- like, you hear it, or you see it, but it's moving, and it's changing.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm. That's really wonderful. So your Halloween sculptures, what's your favorite one you've made so far?
TRUMAN: I've only made one, but it was Stranger Things themed.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nice.
BRAD MILISON: Oh.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you like dressing up for Halloween?
TRUMAN: I love dressing up for Halloween.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you know what you're going to be this coming Halloween yet?
TRUMAN: I don't know quite yet. I love anything scary but not too scary or anything completely unserious.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh. What were you last year?
TRUMAN: I was Hamilton from the American musical Hamilton.
MOLLY BLOOM: Uh-huh, excellent. So you've been a judge before. Do you have any advice for our debaters today?
TRUMAN: Make me laugh and anything musical-themed, singing.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Well, Brad's already got that.
BRAD MILISON: [CHUCKLES]
TRUMAN: Things relating to musicals that I'd know.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh.
MOLLY BLOOM: Good to know. We are ready for singing. We are ready for laughing. We are ready for dancing-- too bad it's a podcast. So will Truman side with Brad or Melanie? Only time will tell. Before we dive in, let's review the rules of the game.
Every debate consists of four rounds-- the declaration of greatness, the micro-round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Truman, will award a point to the team that impresses him the most, but he'll keep his decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won.
OK. Brad, Melanie, and Truman, are you ready?
TRUMAN: Let's go.
So ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the--
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin. And Brad, you're up first. Tell us why weekends should win.
[BELL RINGS]
MONDAY: I'm starving. Tuesday, what'd you bring for lunch?
TUESDAY: Tacos. You want any, Monday? They're beef.
MONDAY: Ugh. You know I'm vegetarian. Haven't you ever heard of Meatless Monday? [SIGHS]
WEDNESDAY: Hey, Thursday. Does my hump look weird today?
THURSDAY: Wednesday, for the last time, you don't have a hump. People just call you hump day because you're in the middle of the week.
[SQUEALS]
[GASPING]
TUESDAY: It's Saturday and Sunday.
[COOL MUSIC]
MONDAY: There's so cool.
THURSDAY: Ugh. Look how chill and relaxed they are.
TUESDAY: What do Saturday and Sunday call themselves again?
ALL: The weekend.
TUESDAY: What is it that makes the weekend so great?
[BELL RINGS]
BRAD MILISON: That's a great question, and I'm here with some answers. The best thing about the weekend is it can be whatever you want it to be. It's a blank slate, endlessly customizable to whatever floats your boat, like movie and pizza nights, sleepovers, sleeping in, playing video games inside, playing sports outside, watching Saturday morning cartoons, reading a book or two, skating, or going to the park. You can even go on a full day trip somewhere, like to an amusement park, or an overnight trip, like camping. You can do all of this on a weekend.
[HOOTS]
MAN 1: Just finished setting up the tent. Let's get the s'mores going.
MAN 2: I got to say, this weekend was so fun. But [YAWNS] I'm so tired. Why did we do everything that man listed?
MAN 1: Because he said we could do it all in a weekend.
MAN 2: I don't think we were supposed to take it literally.
MAN 1: Well, you know what the good news is. We can relax next weekend.
[HIGH-FIVES]
Yeah! Nice.
BRAD MILISON: Exactly. Even if your weekend doesn't go exactly as planned, the good news is that there's a brand new one waiting right around the corner for you. There are 52 weekends in a year. That's 104 days, which means you're enjoying a sweet, sweet weekend almost a third of the year. Meanwhile, if things go wrong on your vacation, that's going to be nothing short of a disaster because who knows when the next one is? But if you need even more proof about how important weekends are, imagine this.
[SNORING]
Monday morning, 7:00 AM.
[ALARM RINGS]
Rise and shine. Time for school.
[SNORING]
Tuesday morning, 7:00 AM.
[ALARM RINGS]
School is waiting.
[SNORING]
Wednesday morning, 7:00 AM. Up and at them, the school bus is going to be here soon.
[SNORING]
Thursday morning, 7:00 AM. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.
[SNORING]
Friday morning, 7:00 AM. It's school o'clock somewhere.
[SNORING]
Monday morning, 7:00 AM. Time for school.
STUDENT: Hey, wait a second. It was just Friday. Now it's Monday again.
[FRUSTRATED SCREAM]
BRAD MILISON: Because that's what a world without weekends would look like, no Saturday sleepovers or Sunday fun day, just endless school over and over again. Even taking the most amazing vacation in the world once a year wouldn't be enough to save you from that horror.
STUDENT: I just want to sleep. I need a weekend.
BRAD MILISON: Sorry for the nightmare fuel of a world with an endless school cycle. But the point is, you can imagine life without vacations, but just try to imagine life without weekends. You can't. That's because vacations are a nice treat, but weekends are absolutely necessary. Whether we decide to use that time to have fun, stay busy, or relax, we wouldn't be able to function without relying on the reset the weekend offers us. So next time you run across Saturday and Sunday--
WEEKDAYS: The weekend.
BRAD MILISON: --make sure you say thanks.
MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you, weekend. I got to say thanks. I love the weekend. So Truman, what stood out to you about Brad's declaration of greatness?
TRUMAN: I loved how you were able to put a school in my head without even mentioning that they were at school because I instantly was like, oh, that sounds like a lunchroom.
BRAD MILISON: Yeah?
TRUMAN: I loved that, and I thought it was hilarious.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well done. OK, Melanie. It is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why weekends are weak. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh, snooze. This is a lot of big talk for two puny days of the week. Why have a weekend when you can have a week off? OK, Brad tried to make weekends sound really cool. But the reality is, you're probably like me. You sleep in a little, maybe eat some cereal, maybe watch a made-for-TV movie on the couch. Whereas on a vacation, you're at the beach, you're camping, you're traveling to a distant land, you're being spontaneous and adventurous.
OK. Brad saying that vacations are a treat, and weekends are essential? It's the other way around. Weekends and vacations transcend.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
BRAD MILISON: Interesting. Interesting, Melanie.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Yeah.
BRAD MILISON: Yeah. That's one way to view weekends. But as I've clearly shown, I feel differently.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Hey. Hey, Brad, one question for you. Didn't you just get back from an epic 10-day long Italian vacation with your family? Would you have preferred that was just a weekend?
BRAD MILISON: It was 14 days, actually.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh ho ho.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Case closed. Thank you very much, making my point for me.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] OK. Melanie, it is your turn. Tell us why you're a citizen of vacation nation.
EMCEE: It's the moment you've been waiting for. It's time for the weekends versus vacations rap battle!
TEAM VACATIONS: (RAPPING) Oh, I'm team vacations
What is up
I can't believe weekends even showed up
This weekend dude said my week is packed
I said, hey, man, your schedule is wack
Living weekend to weekend
Oh, how sad
I'm off to the Bahamas with my mom and my dad
See ya
EMCEE: Team weekends, what you got?
TEAM WEEKENDS: Um. [CLEARS THROAT] Yeah, yeah. Uh.
(RAPPING) Vacations are wack 'cause we got snacks
Saturday, Sunday, two fun days at the park or the Mall It's about to get crazy
Yeah
Are you feeling it?
[BOOING]
TEAM VACATIONS: Hey. Go easy on team weekends.
(RAPPING) It's not his fault he got the short end of the week
Why choose two days
How about 15
Vacations are longer and all-around better
You're sipping on a drink with a tiny umbrella or chilling with the fellas
On the weekends, you just eat a jar of Nutella or babysit your sis named Gabriella.
TEAM WEEKENDS: Oh. Is it too late to switch sides?
EMCEE: Unfortunately, yes. Vacation wins!
MELANIE JOHNSON: Everybody wants to be on team vacations, and it's no wonder why. Vacations are for ultimate relaxation. It's all fun, no worries, no chores--
JILLY'S DAD: Jilly, have you cleaned your room yet?
JILLY: Not yet, Dad. Ugh.
MELANIE JOHNSON: --no homework--
[BELL RINGS]
TEACHER: Class, don't forget to read your 250 pages of The Iliad by Monday. And bring back your algebra worksheets and turn in your essay on the history of car insurance and its effects on the American South. Again, by Monday. Enjoy your weekend.
STUDENT: Ugh!
MELANIE JOHNSON: --and of course, no--
WOMAN 1: Sunday scaries.
MELANIE JOHNSON: You know that feeling when it's Sunday. You're relaxing, hanging with your friends, playing video games, or watching a movie. And it's all fun and games until you remember, school is tomorrow. Your precious weekend is almost over, and it'll be five full days before it's here again. You feel a chill on the back of your neck. You break into a cold sweat.
WOMAN 1: Sunday scaries.
MELANIE JOHNSON: That's the Sunday scaries, my dudes. And it's a real thing. Lots of news outlets like The Wall Street Journal and Washing Post have reported on it.
MAN 3: Ooh, fancy.
MELANIE JOHNSON: People often feel more anxiety and stress on Sundays, particularly in the evening, when the dread of the coming week sets in. But the Sunday scaries don't exist on vacation because on vacation, you forget what day it is.
WOMAN 2: We're on vacation. Who needs a calendar? More like a calen-don't. [LAUGHS]
MELANIE JOHNSON: Vacations are also amazing because they expand your horizons. And I'm about to get personal here because this is something I've experienced firsthand.
You see, in 2021, I was at the lowest point in my life. A very important relationship had just ended. I was aimless, jobless, and I didn't have a place to live. Life was pretty bleak, so I decided to take a two-month trip around the world. I went to New York City to visit my cousin and Washington, DC to visit my brother. Then I ventured across the pond to London, took a train to Scotland, and a quick flight to Ireland.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
It was an amazing vacation because I got to reconnect with people who love me, who could support me during a tough time. But it was also transformational. I did so many things on that vacation that scared me. I navigated confusing bus and train schedules. I drove a stick shift car in a bustling city, asked for directions from strangers, and ate dinner alone. I proved to myself how strong I was.
Sure, a trip can't fix all your problems. But when I got home, I was ready to pick myself up, dust myself off, and restart my life. Vacations are like that. They're fun, sure, but they're also for healing and transformation. They're for making memories, meeting people, gaining a deeper appreciation of the world around you, for other people and for yourself. Listen, I love weekends. Who doesn't? But vacations have changed me.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, an inspiring and heartfelt argument there for vacations. Truman, what stood out to you about Melanie's declaration of greatness?
TRUMAN: The sentiment to it was amazing. And then the rap in the beginning was absolutely perfect, wouldn't change a thing about it.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Brad. It is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why we should have reservations about vacations. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
BRAD MILISON: OK, Melanie says they're relaxing. What about these things to consider? Time zones. If you're traveling across the country or the globe, you have to deal with jet lag, which affects your sleep schedule, which brings me to beds. It's a complete toss up whether you'll have a comfortable bed at your destination. There's always someone that has to take the creaky rollaway cot or the sore-back-inducing sofa bed.
Lastly, packing for vacations is so stressful. It's a four-day trip? Great, I'll bring 7 pairs of socks, 10 pairs of underwear, 6 pairs of shoes, and 14 outfit changes. And when I get home, I'll leave the suitcase in the corner unpacked for three weeks. Gosh, I love vacation.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Wow, that felt perfectly planned.
BRAD MILISON: It was.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Truman. It is time to award some points. Please give one point for the declaration of greatness you liked best and one point for the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic to die for? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?
TRUMAN: Yes.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Melanie and Brad, how are you two feeling so far?
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh my gosh.
BRAD MILISON: I'm OK. Melanie's coming in pretty hot with some-- she was ready.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I'm passionate.
BRAD MILISON: Maybe I was a little too comfortable, yeah.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I'm passionate about my vacations.
BRAD MILISON: Clearly.
MELANIE JOHNSON: And so is Brad. He's sporting an incredible base tan from his Italian vacay away.
BRAD MILISON: Melanie's bringing in insider information. My Italian trip has nothing to do with this debate.
MELANIE JOHNSON: It has everything to do with--
MOLLY BLOOM: What happens when friends debate friends. All right. It is time for a quick break. Pack your bags and hit the pool.
TRUMAN: And we'll be right back with more. Smash Boom Best.
ANNOUNCER: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hello, debate heads. I'm Todd Douglas, and I'm here with the one and only--
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Taylor Lincoln. And it must be a day ending in a Y because we just found a logical fallacy.
TODD DOUGLAS: Logical fallacies are debate no-nos that make your argument easy to defeat. Let's listen.
PEGGY: Look, Dirk, over there. It's a northern cardinal.
DIRK: Oh, I see it, Peggy. It's gorgeous. [SIGHS] Is there anything better than bird-watching on a Sunday morning?
PEGGY: I can't imagine there is.
DIRK: And is there any bird better than the beautiful northern cardinal?
PEGGY: I mean, maybe. There are a lot of birds out there.
DIRK: What? You're saying you hate the northern cardinal? It's an incredible bird! Look at its red feathers, its distinguished beak, the elegant bounce in its step. How can you hate this avian work of art?
PEGGY: Settle down, Dirk. There are other birds in the world. Just because I don't think the cardinal is the best doesn't mean I hate it.
DIRK: It's the northern cardinal, you fiend. And if you don't love it, well, you hate it.
[BUZZER]
TODD DOUGLAS: Whoa. Those two may have been bird-watchers, but they were far from birds of a feather.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: I'll say. Dirk was using the false dichotomy fallacy, also known as the black and white fallacy. That's when a person makes it seem like there are only two choices available when there are more.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah, not loving the northern cardinal isn't the same as hating it. Hey, you know what all this bird talk is putting me in the mood for?
TAYLOR LINCOLN: A frittata?
TODD DOUGLAS: No! Bird-watching. Grab your binoculars and meet me outside.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: We'll see you next time on--
TODD AND TAYLOR: State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER: Brains On universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, we know you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on. Let's explore.
COMPUTER: Entering Brains On universe to find my favorite podcasts. Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Forever Ago. [GASPS] Picking up signal. Forever Ago, the history show hosted by Joy Dolo.
[BEEPING]
JOY DOLO: Welcome to--
[GRAND MUSIC]
--Joy's Hall of Stalls. Every door in this hall leads to a different model of toilet from throughout history. You want a potty like it's 1999?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Right this way.
COMPUTER: [GASPS] Zorp! Where did the signal go? Must find Forever Ago now!
[EXPLODES]
ANNOUNCER: Listen to Forever Ago wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 1: Smash.
SPEAKER 2: Boom.
SPEAKER 3: Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
TRUMAN: And I'm your judge, Truman.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this timely debate idea from Aya.
AYA: Hi, I'm Aya. And my debate idea is night versus day.
TRUMAN: That's a shining example of a great debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Aya thinks should win.
TRUMAN: And now it's back to our debate, weekends versus vacations.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the--
ANNOUNCER: Micro-round.
MOLLY BLOOM: For the micro-round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. We asked Brad and Melanie to come up with an infomercial advertising their side. Brad went first last time. So Melanie, you're up. Tell us why vacations are vital.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Are weekends leaving you feeling more exhausted than relaxed?
SPEAKER 4: The lawn needs cutting.
[LAWN MOWER WHIRS]
SPEAKER 5: Don't forget to clean your room.
[VACUUM WHIRS]
SPEAKER 6: You said you were going to help me cut Tiger's nails, remember?
[CAT MEOWS]
MELANIE JOHNSON: You might need a vacation.
SPEAKER 7: Wow. Where am I? How did I end up in this ridiculously comfortable hammock right on the beach? And how did this ice cream cone get in my hand? Mm, strawberry. [SIGHS]
But wait, something's missing.
MELANIE JOHNSON: What? What could possibly be missing? You've got the beach, the ice cream, the incredible Tiki jams.
SPEAKER 7: It's my worries. They're nowhere to be found!
MELANIE JOHNSON: Nice one.
SPEAKER 7: Oh, yeah. I could get used to this.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Grab your flip-flops, camping gear, or snow boots and actually unwind. Vacations, they're all the fun of weekends without any of the annoying, stressful, or irritating stuff.
SPEAKER 7: I love vacations.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Disclaimer, your vacation may leave you feeling impossibly relaxed, rejuvenated, and re-enamored with the world around you. Math homework, chores, and piano lessons definitely not included. Terms and conditions apply.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. I'm calling right now to order 12 of those A dozen vacations, please.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Right?
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Brad, it is your turn. Tell us why weekends are everyone's best friends.
[ENGINE ROARING]
KEN DEE: Life moving by too fast? Hard to catch your breath when you feel like you're just going to school or work over and over again?
[CRASHES]
Sounds like you need a weekend!
[HORNS BLARING]
That's right. My name is Ken Dee, owner of Weekends, the one-stop shop for all your weekend needs. Our warehouse offers an infinite amount of weekends you can peruse at your leisure.
[OOHING]
Can't visit us in person? We'll send you our 10,000-page catalog stuffed with all the ways you can build your own weekend. We've been around for hundreds of years for a reason. People need weekends!
[CHEERING]
VACATION DEPOT: Vacation. Vacation.
KEN DEE: Uh-oh. That's the sound of our competitor, Vacation Depot, trying to call you away from our endless array of amazing weekend options.
[BOOING]
Here's what I say to them. Why go buy one fancy-pants vacation and plan for fun in the distant future when you can have fun every single weekend? Why spend a lot of money at Vacation Depot when you can snag an awesome weekend for absolutely no money at all. That's right. For zero payments of $0, you get a weekend. Plus, everyone from kids to adults to parakeets can get a weekend. We don't turn anyone away.
[PARAKEET TWEETING]
So hurry in now, even though this offer will last long.
[CHEERING]
[HORN HONKS]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. That also sounds amazing. Put me down for 52 of those, please. Thank you so much. OK, Truman. What did you like about Brad and Melanie's micro-rounds?
TRUMAN: I did really like the infomercial vibe from Brad.
BRAD MILISON: Thanks.
TRUMAN: And Melanie came in with a very strong sell, very good advertising. Really liked both of them.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent sales technique here all around. But Truman, only one of them can get a point, so please award a point for whichever micro-round you deem best. Have you made your decision?
TRUMAN: Yes.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Then it's time for our third round, the super stealth--
[CHANTING]
ANNOUNCER: Sneak attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called Say My Name, Say My Name. When it's your turn, you have 10 seconds to convince us that your side is the best by only using the words in the name of your side. After your opponent goes, you get to do a five-second rebuttal using your opponent's name.
How expressive can you be? Don't hold back. You can make sound effects with your mouth. For example, if I was arguing for team cats, I would say, cat, cat, meow, roar, cat, cat. We're going to start with Brad. Let's hear your rendition of Say My Name for team weekends. Your 10 seconds starts now.
BRAD MILISON: Week, ends, week, ends. Weekends. Weekends! [SIGHS] Weekends. Weekends? [CHUCKLES] Weekends.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
[LAUGHTER]
MELANIE JOHNSON: That was great.
MOLLY BLOOM: I like that little mischievous one at the end.
TRUMAN: Amazing.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Yeah, it's very sneaky.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Melanie. It's your turn. Let's hear your five-second rebuttal only using the word weekend. Your five seconds starts now.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Weekend? [SCOFFS] Weekend? Weekend, week, end, week.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
MELANIE JOHNSON: End.
BRAD MILISON: On the nose.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good. Very good. All right, Melanie. You get to go again. Let's hear your 10-second argument for vacations using only the name of your side. On your mark, get set, go!
MELANIE JOHNSON: Vacations! Va-cations. Vaca-tions. Va-ca-tions. Vacations? Va. Va-va-vacations. Vacations.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Vacations.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Brad. It's time for your five-second rebuttal. Using only the word vacation. Your time starts now!
BRAD MILISON: [SCOFFS] Vacations. Vacation? Vaca-tion.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
BRAD MILISON: Vacation.
[LAUGHTER]
MELANIE JOHNSON: I feel shunned.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Truman, it is time to award a point for this sneak attack. Think about which side impressed you the most and award your fourth point, but don't tell us who it's going to. Have you made your decision?
TRUMAN: Yes!
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for our final round.
ANNOUNCER: The final six.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Melanie, let's hear your six words for how very important vacations are.
MELANIE JOHNSON: New places, faces? Vacations are aces.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, a little rhyme. OK. Brad, it is your turn. Tell us about the wonder of the weekend in just six words.
BRAD MILISON: Vacations are temporary. Weekends are forever! [ECHOES]
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: The echo.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Is that you falling off a cliff?
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Truman, you've heard it all. Our debaters have done an excellent job, but it is time to award one final point for this final six. All right.
TRUMAN: I have awarded the final point.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oof, wonderful work. Truman, are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
TRUMAN: I am.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Drum roll, please. And the winner is--
TRUMAN: Vacations!
BRAD MILISON: Oh!
MELANIE JOHNSON: Yes! Thank you, Truman. Team vacations!
MOLLY BLOOM: So Truman, what was your favorite part of the debate?
TRUMAN: You opened my eyes to how life-changing vacations can be because I realized that there is a lot of different vacations that can just completely change everything for you. And weekends are amazing, and I love them. And the debate was awesome. But I also did see eye to eye with some of the disagreements towards weekends. I did also really like-- I think that these two go hand in hand because you could have a vacation on a weekend.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm. So true.
BRAD MILISON: That's true.
TRUMAN: Yeah. I just thought it was amazing. I thought every single piece was great. Close battle.
MOLLY BLOOM: Definitely.
TRUMAN: Won by a single point.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oof, as close as close can be.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Well, Brad is so hilarious. I was shaking in my boots when Truman said, make me laugh, because no one makes me laugh like Brad.
BRAD MILISON: Aw.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I gained a new appreciation for weekends as well in hearing Brad talk about them. I'm team vacations first, but I think he kind of won me over as a team weekends as well.
BRAD MILISON: Melanie came in prepared. She really blew me away with just how ready she was for this. And also, the personal side of things is very huge. And it also affected me, and I appreciate vacations for that reason.
MOLLY BLOOM: Lovely. You know what my favorite thing is? Going on a vacation, coming home, and then having a weekend after my vacation.
BRAD MILISON: Mm-hmm, that combo.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Yes.
BRAD MILISON: One combo.
MOLLY BLOOM: That combo Is key.
MELANIE JOHNSON: To relax into the week.
BRAD MILISON: Why are we fighting? We need to team up. We need to--
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Let's combine our powers.
TRUMAN: Work together.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Batman and Robin.
BRAD MILISON: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes.
TRUMAN: But who's Batman?
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
BRAD MILISON: I will be.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I think I'm Batman.
BRAD MILISON: I guess I'll be Batman. Yeah.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I think that's probably vacations.
BRAD MILISON: I'm 6' 5". I guess I'm taller.
MELANIE JOHNSON: I guess that is true.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for today's debate battle. Truman crowned vacations the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?
TRUMAN: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios. It's produced by Molly Bloom--
ANNA WEGGEL: Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Erik Stromstad and Sarah Dealy with sound design by Anna Weggel. Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: Shahla Farzan.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On universe team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie duPont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Anna Goldfield.
NICO GONZALEZ WISLER: Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMPERT: Lauren Humpert.
JESS MILLER: Jess Miller.
JOSHUA RAY: Joshua Ray.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
MOLLY BLOOM: --and--
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: Charlotte Traver.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios executives-in-charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross, Taylor Kaufman, Phoebe Bowers, and Coco Sanchez. Brad, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout-out to today?
BRAD MILISON: Just a shout-out to my friend Mel, who's sitting across from me, because this was so much fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw. And how about you, Melanie? Any special shout-outs?
MELANIE JOHNSON: I want to shout-out Brad, who's sitting right across from me. It's so much fun doing this with a friend. He's a great one.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw. And how about you, Truman? Any special thanks or shout-outs?
TRUMAN: I would like to shout-out my mom for bringing me here and being such a light in my life.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw! These are the sweetest thank-yous ever. Before we go, let's check in and see who Aya thinks should win the night versus day debate.
AYA: I think night would win because you can have sleepovers, and I think it would be more fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down, drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line. And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a new Smash Boom Best debate battle next week.
TRUMAN: See you later.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, put it through the test
Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, better than the rest
It's a Smash Boom Best
It's a Smash Boom Best
MOLLY BLOOM: That makes sense.
BRAD MILISON: No. I think, yeah. I think they're going to be pleased. Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is--
MELANIE JOHNSON: That doesn't make any sense at all.
MOLLY BLOOM: I would say, this is the silliest of sneak attacks.
MELANIE JOHNSON: Oh, heck yeah.
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