Apollo vs. Artemis

MOLLY BLOOM: From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.

- The show for people with big opinions.

MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom. And this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things and smash them together and ask you to decide which one is best. Today we're climbing to the top of Mount Olympus to witness a battle between two of the greatest Greek gods. It's Artemis versus Apollo.

Artemis has her bow and arrow ready for a heartless hunt. And Apollo has a pocket full of nasty plagues. These two gorgeous gods will give it their all. But which twin will win? It's going to be a tough call. Luckily, we've got Astronaut here from Los Angeles to choose a winner. Hi, Astronaut.

ASTRONAUT: Hi.

MOLLY BLOOM: So Astronaut, what do you know about Greek gods?

ASTRONAUT: Absolutely nothing. So am here to learn all about them.

MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. So we have a blank slate to start with. Are there any other gods from other cultures that you're familiar with?

ASTRONAUT: Yeah. So I love reading about Aztec gods.

MOLLY BLOOM: Very cool. Do you have a favorite god that you've learned about?

ASTRONAUT: Yeah, the goddess of water in Aztec culture, Chalchiuhtlicue. She's just amazing and so beautiful.

MOLLY BLOOM: Cool. So how have you learned about those gods?

ASTRONAUT: So I'm a debater, actually. I teach people at my school how to debate. And when I did debate competitively, most of the debates that I would do were identity-based. So a lot of this had to do with how my body relates to nature or how my mind relates to nature and the borders that there are.

MOLLY BLOOM: That is very, very cool. And so as a debate coach, I would also love to know do you have any tips for our debaters today.

ASTRONAUT: Obviously, know your judge. Also, make the debate fun because I want to be able to enjoy it and also learn from this. But I want it to stick in my mind.

MOLLY BLOOM: Very excellent advice. I can see that you are a really good debate coach. Your students are lucky. All right. It's time to meet our godly defenders. Here to shout Artemis' praises, it's radio producer Jed Kim. Hey, Jed.

JED KIM: Full of "Heartemis." Repping Artemis.

MOLLY BLOOM: So, Jed, in a single sentence, why is Artemis the Smash Boom queen?

JED KIM: Man, Artemis is a deadly hunter. She always kills it, especially in this debate.

MOLLY BLOOM: And here to sing the truth of Apollo, it's podcast producer Ruby Guthrie. Hey, Ruby.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Hello.

MOLLY BLOOM: So, Ruby, in one sentence, why is Apollo the definition of cool?

RUBY GUTHRIE: Apollo is the coolest because he's a jack of all trades who uses music, healing, and prophecy to light up our world.

MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm The sibling rivalry is thick already. All right. Here is a show breakdown. We've got four rounds of debate. Round one is the declaration of greatness where our debaters will present a fact-filled argument in favor of their side and then respond to their opponent's declaration in a 30-second rebuttal.

Next, we've got the microround where both teams will present a fun, creative response to a prompt they received in advance. Round 3 is the sneak attack where debaters will respond to an exciting challenge on the spot. And to wrap it all up, we've got the final six where each team will have just six words to drive home the glory of their side.

Our judge Astronaut will award two points in the first round, one for her favorite rebuttal and one for the declaration she likes best. Then she'll award one point in each round after that. But she'll keep her decision secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. And then at the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. OK. Everybody, are you ready?

JED KIM: Yeah, let's "startemis."

RUBY GUTHRIE: Apollo, yeah, was born ready

MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the declaration of greatness. Our debaters will present the most fascinating facts and awesome arguments in favor of their side. We flipped a coin. And Jed, you're up first. Let Artemis' arrows fly.

JED KIM: Preparing for one of these declarations is hard, so hard, especially when there's so much good stuff to choose from. Too much. I mean, Artemis, deadly with a bow and arrow, yeah, doesn't put up with nonsense from anyone. No. And she does cool stuff all the time, all the time.

She once turned into a deer and ran between two attacking giants and got them to shoot each other. That's like from a movie. Then you've got the Temple of Artemis which was one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. What should I include? Oh, fortunately, my 10-year-old niece Eloise is a huge expert on Artemis. She is Eloise's favorite Greek deity.

ELOISE: Well, first of all, I like archery. Second, I like the wilderness. And she's the goddess of wilderness and stuff. She's the cool girl that no one can touch. But she's not super popular or anything. She's like, quiet coolness. You know what I mean?

JED KIM: Quiet coolness. Yeah. And then I learned something that made me feel like Zeus himself was smiling down on me.

- Ha, ha, ha. I'm not your dog.

JED KIM: See, Eloise's best friend Quinn's favorite God is Apollo.

- And?

JED KIM: And they constantly debate which one is better.

- So?

JED KIM: So I can watch them debate and then cherry-pick the best arguments. Yeah. Like when Quinn made a strong point in favor of Apollo.

QUINN: He's the God of healing and medicine. So he heals people, unlike Artemis who kills people. And like, it's not people but animals.

ELOISE: Apollo is the God of disease.

JED KIM: This is a good point. Apollo doesn't just bring healing. He also brings disease, which during this pandemic, I got to say, thanks a lot, Apollo.

- No.

JED KIM: Artemis, on the other hand, she's the goddess of the outdoors. And the outdoors have been our refuge these past couple of years. But what's this about killing animals?

ELOISE: She's the goddess of the hunt. So what do you expect her to do, not hunt?

JED KIM: In ancient times, hunting was hugely important for food and survival. But it's also more than that according to classics expert Katherine Maddox from the University of Chicago Library.

KATHERINE MADDOX: The hunt shows up for actual sustenance. But more often than not in mythological stories, there is something menacing the land. And it needs to be hunted.

JED KIM: She said, sometimes, there'd be a lion.

KATHERINE MADDOX: Or it's a wild boar. There's something killing everything.

JED KIM: It was up to Artemis to take care of it. Maybe it was her and her warrior maidens that save the day or a hero that she inspired. As goddess of the hunt, she's a superhero. She's essentially Captain America calling The Avengers to assemble. Her amazing exploits began at a young age, like really young. Immediately after being born, she turned around and helped her mother deliver her twin brother Apollo.

KATHERINE MADDOX: So right away, would he even be around if it weren't for his older twin sister?

JED KIM: But even though Artemis is older and more responsible, she still knows how to have fun. In fact, she asked her father Zeus to let her stay a maiden forever, which meant she got to stay young and wild and powerful. See, back in ancient times, after a woman got married, her husband got to call all the shots in everything.

If Artemis had gotten married, she wouldn't have been as powerful a goddess. Instead, she kept her freedom, kept her power. That choice made her one of humanity's first feminist role models. All right. Let's check back in on the debate between my niece and her friend.

QUINN: Yeah. Well, guess what, buddy, it didn't happen. Yeah, because Apollo was kind.

ELOISE: Apollo was gullible.

QUINN: He was kind.

JED KIM: Oh. Things are heating up Actually, this helps clarify one thing that I used to find confusing about Artemis. She's a protector of the innocent. But at the same time, she was capable of terrible violence. How can you reconcile childhood and ferocity? Well--

- I don't use the same--

QUINN: They always started with--

JED KIM: Now I understand that Artemis isn't a contradiction. She's a perfect encapsulation of how innocence can be blended with complete and utter savagery.

QUINN: But she did.

JED KIM: It goes on and on and on. In other words, while Apollo is somebody's idea of what a God is supposed to be, Artemis is the real deal.

ELOISE: Artemis is superior.

JED KIM: Finally, let's just look at the names. Rearrange the letters in Artemis, and you get smarty. And that's what she was from a young age. What do you get when you rearrange Apollo? Well, he's all poo. Game, set, checkmate.

MOLLY BLOOM: Jed calling in the big guns with Eloise there as backup.

JED KIM: I don't like doing my own work.

MOLLY BLOOM: She was excellent. Astronaut, what stood out to you there about Jed's declaration of greatness?

ASTRONAUT: Everything, from the niece debating with their friend to the comparison and symbolism that they had for Artemis and the way that they compared innocence and violence and how they're interacting with each other.

JED KIM: Yeah, I got that symbolism down.

MOLLY BLOOM: Well, Ruby, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to make Artemis weep. And your time starts now.

RUBY GUTHRIE: OK, Jed, you're "Artemissing" the point here. You mention this duality that Artemis has. And then you're coming back being like, oh, medicine, oh, disease. That's also duality. And that's also powerful. Also, OK, thanks, Artemis, for helping birth Apollo. But--

JED KIM: You're welcome.

RUBY GUTHRIE: By far, Apollo is the cooler sibling. He can do a lot of the stuff that Artemis does like archery. And he's a protector as well. Plus, he can do so many other things like music

MOLLY BLOOM: Time.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Have more to say. I always do.

JED KIM: Is Apollo good at watching time?

RUBY GUTHRIE: Does it matter? Do I-- I'm not Apollo. I'm here on his behalf, Jed.

MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, Ruby. I know you have more to say. So it's time for your declaration. Tell us why Apollo is the Golden God.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Hey, Astronaut. Hop in. Sweet ride. Am I right? This is just Apollo's golden chariot led by none other than his trusty swans. Apollo, son of Zeus and Leto, twin to Artemis, and God of music, poetry, dance, sleight, archery, healing, prophecy, you name it. He's definitely the coolest Greek God around, not to mention a total rock star.

And as Apollo's new tour manager, I get to use his chariot to pick up VIP guests just like you. Speaking of, we're heading straight to the stadium where Apollo is kicking off his world tour. Buckle up. OK. We've arrived. Time to rock and roll.

ASTRONAUT: Oh, my Greek God. It's Apollo's chariot.

RUBY GUTHRIE: These are just some of Apollo's adoring fans.

ASTRONAUT: He's just so handsome.

RUBY GUTHRIE: OK, OK, OK. Good looks aside, Apollo is a truly talented dude, especially when it comes to melodies. I mean, after all, he is the God of music, poetry, and song. He's best known for playing a small harp called the lyre, which he absolutely shreds. Let's go to sound check and watch.

[LYRE PLAYING]

Apollo, sound and good, my friend.

- Hello, mortals. It's a pleasure to meet. Welcome to the stage. You're in for a treat.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Being the God of poetry and lyrics and all, he tends to rhyme from time to time. Oh, he even has me doing it. See? But it's great. I mean, just imagine living without poetry, songs, music. We're lucky that Apollo graced our world with the most divine of creative forces. And if his talents are put into question, Apollo gets competitive, like when this dude Marcius challenged him to a musical duel.

[LYRE PLAYING]

Picture this, Marcius on the flute, Apollo with his signature lyre, and the judges, none other than the muses, a group of inspirational goddesses who ruled over the arts. The competition was fierce. Marcius started with a face melting flute solo.

[FLUTE PLAYING]

So Apollo had to heat things up.

- Marcius, bet you can't play upside down.

- You are on. It's really hard to play the flute upside down.

- That's it. We've decided. The winner is Apollo.

- Yes.

RUBY GUTHRIE: In addition to being a strong competitor, Apollo is also a fierce protector. He slayed a python when he was just four days old. That's why he's known as the averter of evil. Some ancient Greeks even put pillars of Apollo outside of their homes or on the city gates, all to ward off bad vibes.

As a natural born healer, Apollo also protects people with his power of medicine. But don't get it twisted. Because if you cross him, he can just as easily harness the power of disease, like he did in the Trojan War. After the Greeks captured Chryseis, the daughter of Apollo's priest, Apollo shot diseased arrows towards the Greeks camp, resulting in a deadly plague. So the Greeks surrendered and returned Chryseis.

On a lighter note, Apollo is also the God of sun, and well, light, which is great on tour because we save big bucks on lighting. But it's also about the metaphorical light, the power of truth, rationality, and prophecy. This was especially honored at the Temple of Delphi, Apollo's main sanctuary, where ancient Greeks came to worship the Oracle and seek guidance on everything, from personal matters to major political decisions like starting new colonies or waging wars. Even philosophers like Plato and Socrates were huge fans.

- Hey, Ruby, I don't mean to interrupt. But I noticed you've been taking a lot of shrimp from catering and stashing it on the tour bus. You must leave more for others. You're being quite shellfish.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Yeah. I can't argue with that Apollo. You're not wrong.

JED KIM: Of course not. I'm the God of truth.

RUBY GUTHRIE: You got me there, boss. So whether you need an honest opinion, a thoughtful medic, or a totally awesome rock star, Apollo is a jack of all trades. Hit it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

- (SINGING) Come one, come all. Listen to the tune of my lyre. I'm here to bring light. And I aim to inspire. So let's dance. Let's sing. Let's get wild. Apollo, Apollo, the golden child.

RUBY GUTHRIE: What can I say? Apollo rocks.

MOLLY BLOOM: Truly a rocking declaration of greatness there for Apollo. Astronaut, what stood out to you in that argument?

ASTRONAUT: The poems, 100% yes. The powers that he has of poetry and how he rhymes and how you made it rhyme, and again, the comparison of light to symbolism of truth, rationality, and prophecy, amazing.

MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Jed, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to make your twin "Apollogize." And your time starts now.

JED KIM: Astronaut, do not get in that chariot. Those four swans are just going to flap it around. They can't move a golden chariot it's going to look bleak. Then, secondly, Apollo, they make-- she tries to make you think that women all love Apollo. The real truth is that there were plenty of women who just found him really annoying. He wouldn't leave them alone. In fact, one of them turned into a tree so that he'd leave her alone. And she's like, oh, thank god I'm a tree now because now Apollo--

MOLLY BLOOM: You're out of time. Oop, nice work. This is a tough debate. Astronaut, it's time to award your first two points. Use whatever criteria you want to make your decision. Did one God have more powerfully persuasive arguments? Did the other wow you with their cool? Mark down both points but don't tell us who you're voting for. Have you made your decision?

ASTRONAUT: I sure have.

[BELL RINGING]

MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Ruby and Jed, how are you feeling about this godly SmackDown so far?

RUBY GUTHRIE: Feeling golden like Apollo's lyre.

JED KIM: I'm pretty sure Astronaut's going to make the "smartemis" choice.

MOLLY BLOOM: All right. It's time for a quick break. Take a soothing stroll in the woods or strum your lyre. And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You're watching state of debate home to rage in rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Salutations, debaters. This is Taylor Lincoln. And I'm here with my number one pal and leader in logic.

TODD DOUGLAS: Todd Douglas. And we just saw someone use the appeal to authority fallacy.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Ruh roh. That's a big whoopsie.

TODD DOUGLAS: Huge. The appeal to authority fallacy is when you think something must be true because an authority or expert believes it.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: But just because an authority or experts support something doesn't necessarily mean it's always right.

TODD DOUGLAS: Exactamundo, especially if they don't have any evidence to back up their claims.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yeah, just like this.

- Hey, Zora. I finally got it, the Super Fruity Num Nom cereal. Time to get crazy.

- Zeke, did you look at the ingredients? This can't be good for you.

- Au contraire, sister. The queen eats Super Fruity Num Noms every day. See, she's on the box.

- Zeke those 200 grams of sugar per serving.

- Na ah. If Her Majesty says it's part of a balanced breakfast, then it's just the truth. Now eat up. But whoa, whoa, whoa. Milk first, then cereal, the royal way, the right way.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Wowsers. Zeke's logic was cerealesly off. I love a pun.

TODD DOUGLAS: Just because the queen endorsed Super Fruity Num Noms doesn't mean it's a healthy cereal.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Plus we all know pouring the milk first is a whack.

TODD DOUGLAS: Agreed. Almost as whack is not having any evidence to back up your claims, just like Zeke.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: All the cereal talk is making me hungry.

TODD DOUGLAS: It's time to get snack a lacking. We'll see you next time on--

TAYLOR LINCOLN: State of debate.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

- Smash Boom Best.

MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best I your host Molly Bloom.

ASTRONAUT: And I'm your judge, Astronaut.

MOLLY BLOOM: One of my favorite things about this show is all the amazing debate ideas we get from listeners like you. Check out this awesome debate suggestion from Ruben in Wisconsin.

RUBEN: My big idea is yawns versus burps.

MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Rubin at the end of this episode to see which side he thinks should win.

ASTRONAUT: And now it's back to our debate of the day, Artemis versus Apollo.

MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the microround. Our microround is hot God pod. For this challenge, Jed and Ruby had to write a podcast trailer starring their God as host. Jed went first last time. So Ruby, you're up. Shine a light on Apollo's awesome podcast.

- Are you sick and tired of every celebrity and their mothers podcast? Instead of listening to humans talk over each other for 90 minutes, tune into some Greek gods doing the exact same thing. It's different. I swear.

- This is No "Apollogy" with me, your host Apollo. Join me every week as I link up with some of the biggest names in Greek mythology and discuss everything under the sun. No topic is off limits. And this season is packed with special guests. We're talking music with Poseidon.

- Yacht Rock is the best music, hands down, no argument.

- I have to admit, it's cracklealacking. And discussing health with my dad Zeus.

- Deep breathing has really done wonders for my stress levels. It's shocking how well it works.

- We're even dipping our toes into investigative journalism with Athena.

RUBY GUTHRIE: But did the chicken actually cross the road just to get to the other side? Or was there something more, dare I say, foul play?

JED KIM: The plot thickens. So whether it's talking tunes, wellness, or true crime, there's No "Apollogies" here because we're having a good time. Listen to No "Apollogies" wherever you listen to podcasts.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Proudly sponsored by Helios Fresh, Olympus' most popular meal kit delivery service.

[LAUGHTER]

MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. I would tune in for sure. All right, Jed. It is now your turn make Apollo quiver in his boots with Artemis' powerful pod.

- Life can be confusing, especially during times of change. Wouldn't it be great if there or someone you could call on for heavenly advice? Now there is.

- Hi, I'm Artemis. You probably know me as the goddess of the hunt. But I'm also the goddess of transitions. People have been coming to me for centuries to help them get through periods of change. Now I've got a new advice podcast.

- Hi, Artemis. I'm getting married next month.

- Don't do it.

- What? No, no. That's what I'm calling. I'm really happy.

- Telling you it's a big mistake. Stay single forever. We can hang. Be like my girl Iphigenia here. Say, hey, Iphi.

- What's up?

- She's also an expert in new romance.

- And he's handsome. But it feels like things are moving fast.

- Boy, this sounds familiar. He's good at art and fortune telling, bit of a stalker vibe. His name Apollo, by any chance?

- Yeah. Do you know him?

- Yeah, he's my kid brother, a.k.a. the God of disease.

- The God of what now?

- Run, girl.

- Or maybe you're thinking of switching up your hunting style. But a compound boat, so much more advanced than a long one.

- Listen, Brian. That's perfectly fine if that's what you can handle. But I got to wonder, is it the bow that bags the deer or the hunter? I'm here with divine wisdom during uncertain times. And as always, prank callers will be turned into animals and savagely hunted down.

- Subscribe now and listen to the new podcast by Artemis.

MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, I am smashing that Subscribe button. I need all the advice I can get. Astronaut, what stood out to you there in our debaters microrounds?

ASTRONAUT: Wow, both very different approaches, both absolutely loved. So for Apollo, I love the puns and the hidden information you gave me about the gods and goddesses. So thank you so much, Ruby.

RUBY GUTHRIE: You're so welcome.

ASTRONAUT: And Artemis, I love advice podcasts. I think they're hilarious. The dating advice, 100% would take from Artemis. So yeah, stay single.

[LAUGHTER]

MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it sounds like this is going to be a tough decision. But it's time to award a point. Don't tell us who's getting it. Again, the criteria is totally up to you, which pod do you think you're more likely to subscribe to, which one made you laugh, which one made you feel, whatever. Have you decided?

ASTRONAUT: Yup.

[BELL RINGING]

MOLLY BLOOM: Awesome. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--

JED KIM: Sneak attack.

MOLLY BLOOM: Your sneak attack today is sweat like a god.

JED KIM: What?

RUBY GUTHRIE: Oh, I am already.

MOLLY BLOOM: Let me explain. Ruby and Jed, for this challenge, we want your God to star in a funky fresh dance workout video. To be your God, talk us through three of your grooviest moves and tell us why we should be trying this fitness program. Does that sound good?

JED KIM: Yeah.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Yeah.

JED KIM: Sure.

RUBY GUTHRIE: It's getting sweaty with it.

MOLLY BLOOM: We're going to give you a few minutes to brainstorm. And while you work, let's listen to some hold music.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

- (SINGING) I'm Apollo. Look at me. I'm a sunny deity. Watch out. Disease might just smite me. Artemis wild as night. An archer, she will fight for the moon and what she feels is right.

MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Jed. You are up first. Show us how the goddess of the hunt likes to move.

JED KIM: All right. Obviously, she's the archer extraordinaire. So you've got to start off with some serious arm and chest work with bolstering pulls. You do 60,000 reps with one arm, 60,000 with the other. Then you can't ignore the legs. Everyone tries to ignore the legs. So for this exercise, we got this little thing called catch the baby.

And you squat down like she did when she was two seconds old. Squat down. And you get ready in the catching position. And you just got to feel the burden of those legs. And that baby is going to be slippery. It's going to be crying. But don't worry. You catch that baby.

And then finally, when you're all done, it's time to hit the shower. No showers. Artemis does not do well with showers because when there's unlucky onlookers that happen across in the locker room, she turns them into animals and has them torn apart by their own dogs.

MOLLY BLOOM: Oh. What a workout. So does your workout system have a name?

JED KIM: It's get Heartemis.

MOLLY BLOOM: Keeping that heart healthy, your "Heartimes" healthy.

JED KIM: Yeah.

MOLLY BLOOM: Very good. All right. Ruby, your turn. Tell us how the God of healing works it out and struts his stuff,

RUBY GUTHRIE: OK. So we're going to start off and really get our heart rates up by dancing because Apollo is the God of dance. So we're just going to start by shaking every inch of our body. And we're shaking. And we're shaking. And we're letting all that tension go. And it's great. It's like the light just entering your soul. It feels incredible.

OK. And then we're going to get down and do some Sun Squats so you can get your golden glutes going because that's very important. Apollo is in the best form. And that's what we're going for here. So 1 and a 2 and 3. Oh, you can feel it burn. It's feeling great.

And now to cool down, we're going to do some scales to warm up our vocals and just really feel the music. Ta da da da da da. I'm not a singer, but I'm doing it. It feels great. Ta da da da da. No, I'm cooling down. It feels great. I didn't turn anybody into deer in the process. And I have golden glutes now. So I'm feeling pretty good.

JED KIM: Turning people into deer is where you burn the most calories, I think.

MOLLY BLOOM: Ruby, does your workout, have a name?

RUBY GUTHRIE: Ah Sun Salutations, Apollo style.

MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Very good work and exercise for your body and your vocal cords, which I guess, is a part of your body after all. So Astronaut, which workout video impressed you the most? Again, criteria completely up to you. Which one got you sweating? Which one made you laugh? Give that team a point. But don't tell us who it's going to. Have you made your decision?

ASTRONAUT: Yes, I did.

[BELL RINGING]

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Then it's time for our last around, the final six. Ruby, you're up. You've got just six words left to prove that Apollo is the most divine.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Liar shredder, prolific prophet, truth seeker.

MOLLY BLOOM: Mm-hmm Excellent work. All right. Jed, your turn. Give us six words that capture Artemis' celestial perfection.

JED KIM: Well, actually, I relied on my niece once again to do this part for me. Can we roll it?

ELOISE: Artemis is totally right on target.

JED KIM: Yes.

MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, Eloise. Oh. She's relevant and right on target.

JED KIM: So much better than anything I could have come up with.

MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Apollo and Artemis have given us some ungodly chills and taken us on a beatific tour of their twinning powers. But it's time for a reckoning. Which God is tops? It's Astronaut's decision to make. So, Astronaut, award your final point for this last final six. Have you made that decision?

ASTRONAUT: I sure have.

[BELL RINGING]

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. It's time to crown one of these twins the winner. So tally up your points there. Let us know when you're ready for the big reveal. We're going to do a whole drum roll. Have you tallied?

ASTRONAUT: I am ready.

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Drum roll, please. And the winner is--

[DRUM ROLL]

ASTRONAUT: Artemis.

MOLLY BLOOM: Ar-- Apollo, no.

ASTRONAUT: By a little bit. FYI, by a little bit.

MOLLY BLOOM: So was there a moment there, Astronaut, that sealed the deal for you?

ASTRONAUT: It was mostly the beginning. I feel like all of those beginning points were going to Artemis. And then Apollo was making a comeback but unfortunately didn't make it.

MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. Jed and Ruby did not make your job easy today. So thank you for your very sage judging.

JED KIM: I got to say the podcast was fantastic, the No "Apollogies" inspired.

RUBY GUTHRIE: And even though I feel like I lost to your niece Eloise, I really appreciate that you put her and her best friend Quinn in there. That was just so lovely. And they really made some good points.

MOLLY BLOOM: I think we'll be hearing a lot of those debates happening across the country in households after hearing this debate today. And that's it for today's godly pod. Astronaut crowned Artemis the Smash Boom Best. But what about you? Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think should win. Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.

JED KIM: It's produced by [LISTING HONOR ROLL]

MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from [LISTING HONOR ROLL].

JED KIM: And we had production help from [LISTING HONOR ROLL]

MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Perlman. And the APM Studios executives-in-charge are Lilly Kim, Alex Shaffer, and Joanne Griffith. Rose DuPont is the voice of our whole music. And our announcer is Marley Foyer Worker Otto. We want to give a special thanks to Austin Croft, Taylor Kaufman, Ezra Poplar, and Lulu. Ruby, is there anyone you want to thank today?

RUBY GUTHRIE: Yes. First and foremost, I want to thank my friend and jack-of-all-trades, Jack Silver Nagle for voicing Apollo and also sharing his singing talents. Thank you, Jack. Also, thanks, Mark, Menaka Rosie, my little brother Pablo, and my dad, Paul for sharing your voices.

MOLLY BLOOM: How about you, Jed, any special shout outs?

JED KIM: I mean, obviously, I got to thank my niece Eloise and her friend Quinn, also, my nephew Elliot. And then I had voice help from Paul, and Kevin White, Megan, and Andrea Mustain.

MOLLY BLOOM: And Astronaut, do you want to give any special thanks today?

ASTRONAUT: Yeah. I love to give thanks to Eileen because she was helping me. She was like, you should really learn a little bit about Greek mythology because it's amazing. She's a Percy Jackson fan. So it was very offensive to her when I said I didn't know anything about them. But yeah.

MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Before we go, let's hear who Ruben thinks should win in his yawns versus burps debate.

RUBEN: I think yawns would win because burping is just bad manners.

MOLLY BLOOM: Good point, Ruben. Do you have an idea for a knockdown, drag out debate? Head to smashboom.org. And tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week.

JED KIM: [NON-ENGLISH]

RUBY GUTHRIE: Ciao, ciao.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

- (SINGING) Oh, the Smash Boom Best. Oh, it's the Smash Boom Best. Oh, better than the rest. It's Smash Boom Best. It's Smash Boom Best.

MOLLY BLOOM: By the way, Jed, your niece definitely carried. You should-- these points should be awarded to her, not you.

RUBY GUTHRIE: Absolutely.