Godfrey Hibbert
We hope you’re ready for today’s ragin’ rivalry, cuz it’s monstrous! In one corner we’ve got that legendary lizard with atomic breath… Godzilla! And in the other, it’s that gargantuan gorilla who scales skyscrapers… King Kong! Radio producer and comedian Aron Woldeslassie tangles with journalist and author Tom Weber in this colossal clash… but which monster will be crowned the smash boom beast?!
Vote below for the team YOU think won!
Audio Transcript
Download transcript (PDF)
MARLEY: From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.
ANNOUNCER: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. We hope you're ready for today's rage and rivalry because it's monstrous. In one corner, we've got that legendary lizard with atomic breath, Godzilla. And in the other, it's the gargantuan gorilla who scales skyscrapers, King Kong.
Which monster will be crowned the Smash Boom Beast? Hard to say, but lucky for us, we've got Elijah from Chicago here to help us decide. Hi, Elijah.
ELIJAH: Hey.
MOLLY BLOOM: So Elijah, when I say King Kong, what comes to mind?
ELIJAH: Kong Skull Island and how he was so protective of his island. It's just something that I'll never forget.
MOLLY BLOOM: And what about Godzilla, what comes to mind when I say Godzilla?
ELIJAH: When I hear Godzilla, I think of the fire coming out of his mouth. I think of the destruction of the cities. I think of-- I just think of war god, a war demon.
MOLLY BLOOM: So would you say you already have a preference for one of these mighty monsters?
ELIJAH: Going into the debate, I don't think I have any preference. I think that they're both great. And I just want to know more.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, our debaters are going to try to persuade you today. So speaking of debate, are you a debater yourself?
ELIJAH: Yes, I've been debating since I was in the sixth grade. I'm a junior now. So it's been a long, I think, five or six years.
MOLLY BLOOM: That is so cool. And so beyond the debate team, do you find yourself debating topics just like in your everyday life with friends and family?
ELIJAH: Yes, I always argue with my friends about Nicki or Cardi or Drake and Kanye West. It's a fight.
MOLLY BLOOM: And so like, what kind of tactics do you use in those conversations to try to persuade them that you're right?
ELIJAH: People tell me I know how to sweet talk. So I always know how to make it sound good. It just makes you just want to just think that I'm right, just because of I'm saying it.
MOLLY BLOOM: So you turn on the charm.
ELIJAH: I turn on the charm, for sure.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Well, let's meet our charming debaters today. Here to defend that sci-fi showstopper, Godzilla, it's radio producer and comedian, Aron Woldeslassie. Hi, Aron.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Hey, everybody. How are we doing today?
MOLLY BLOOM: We're doing great. Thank you so much for being here. So in a single sentence, why is Godzilla the Smash Boom Best?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh, here's a good one, Godzilla, laser beams, judo, homeowner, parent, kaiju.
MOLLY BLOOM: I'm intrigued. And here to represent the awesome ape, King Kong, it's journalist and author, Tom Weber. Hi, Tom.
TOM WEBER: Hello, everybody.
MOLLY BLOOM: So Tom, in one sentence, why is King Kong the coolest?
TOM WEBER: The perfect mix of brute strength with a sympathetic streak that makes you just want to cuddle him.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Well, let's review the rules of the game. Round One is the Declaration of Greatness, where our debaters will present fact-filled arguments in favor of their side. They'll also get 30 seconds each to rebut their opponent's statement. Then we've got the Micro Round, where each team will respond to a creative assignment they received in advance.
Round Three is the Sneak Attack, a surprise challenge debaters will respond to on the spot. And to wrap it all up, we've got the Final Six, where each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Our judge, Elijah, will award two points in the first round, one for his favorite rebuttal, one for his preferred declaration. And then he'll award one point in each round after that. But he'll keep his decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge, too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Everybody, are you ready?
TOM WEBER: Yes!
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: So excited.
ELIJAH: I'm ready. I need somebody to show me what's really the best.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the--
MARLEY: Declaration of Greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our debaters will present the most fascinating facts and awesome arguments in favor of their side. We flipped a coin, and Aron, you're up first. Tell us why Godzilla is the greatest.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Godzilla goes by many names, Japan's favorite kaiju, the Thunder Lizard, the scourge of the Pacific. But in order to out who he really is, we asked some of Godzilla's closest colleagues, the giant monsters, King Ghidorah, Mothra, and of course, Mechagodzilla.
KING GHIDORAH: What can I say about Godzilla? He's terrifying.
MOTHRA: He's monstrous.
MECHAGODZILLA: He is the baddest lizard in show business.
KING GHIDORAH: One time, he literally threw me over his shoulder. I was stunned.
MOTHRA: I remember that. That was crazy. You're huge with three heads. And he just--
KING GHIDORAH: Whipped me around like I was a bag of laundry.
MOTHRA: Unbelievable.
MECHAGODZILLA: One time, he absorbed the soul of his friend and shot me with a laser.
KING GHIDORAH: Which laser beam?
MECHAGODZILLA: The red spiral one.
KING GHIDORAH: Yeah, that one stings a lot, buddy. He's just so--
MOTHRA: Powerful?
MECHAGODZILLA: Terrifying.
KING GHIDORAH: Right behind you!
[GODZILLA GROWLING]
MECHAGODZILLA: It's Godzilla, run for your lives.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Running for your life makes sense because Godzilla is the baddest monster out there.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Like a cold-blooded Nicolas Cage, he's been in over 30 films, meaning Godzilla has the longest-running film franchise in history. He's also been in dozens of comics and a few video games. He's fought everything, from the Avengers to his own clone, and won! And it's no wonder he's over 900 feet tall. He can regenerate when he's hurt. He can throw up a force field for periods of time. And most notably, he can shoot lasers from his mouth.
[GODZILLA GROWLS]
[LASER SHOTS]
He's also been known to hit his foes with jump kicks, wrestling holds, and judo moves probably because the actor who originally played Godzilla has a black belt in judo. Not to get too meta, but early on, Godzilla was played by a guy in a rubber suit. And that man had an actual black belt in judo. So he uses the moves all of the time.
[GODZILLA WHINES]
Come on, pal, that's how you got started.
[GODZILLA GROWLS]
Thank you. But how did Godzilla get all these powers? One word--
[GODZILLA WHINES]
Sorry, two words, nuclear radiation. Most lumbering in the Pacific Ocean, a reptile was blasted by nuclear radiation. After absorbing the radiation, the reptile transformed into Godzilla, the city-destroying monster we respect and fear. But a lot of monsters are made to scare people. Godzilla was made because people were already scared.
Godzilla was unleashed in Japan just nine years after atomic weapons were dropped on the nation during World War II. These weapons destroyed the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and were seen as awesomely destructive. Godzilla represents the fearsome power of nuclear radiation, which is just one more reason the nuclear lizard is so interesting. But Godzilla's also a symbol for love.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Case in point, he has an adopted son. The little guy's name is Minilla. And he looks just like an adorable baby Godzilla.
[BABY COOS]
GODZILLA: Oh, so cute.
[BABY LAUGHS]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: The two met when baby Minilla was being attacked by giant praying mantises. Well, not the most conventional adoption story. It speaks to Godzilla's good-natured spirit and fatherly charm or motherly charm. Technically, we don't know Godzilla's gender. But that's besides the point. Baby Minilla can't quite fight like Godzilla. But he can do some pretty cool tricks.
For example, he can shrink down to the size of a human child, and he can talk. Imagine you're hanging out on the couch and a child-sized Godzilla comes into the room and sits right next to you.
MINILLA: Hey, guys, it's me, Minilla.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: You can do so many fun things with Minilla, like play basketball or bake a cake or even help record this podcast. Hey, Minilla, what's it like having a celebrity dad?
MINILLA: It's pretty much like having any parent. But I communicate with mine telepathically. And sometimes he shoots lasers.
[LASER SHOT]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Like most parents, Godzilla's been working since the early '50s, and he still looks great.
[GODZILLA WHINES]
De nada. And like most people from the '50s, he already owns a home that has skyrocketed in value because while regular people live in houses, apartments, or vans down by the river, Godzilla lives on a private island literally called Godzilla Island. There, Godzilla, his son, and some of his monster buddies hang out and await for the next threat to befall the Earth.
But fear not, if a creature ever terrorizes your town or more likely downtown Tokyo, it won't be long before someone yells, run for your life, it's Godzilla!
MOLLY BLOOM: A laser-focused declaration of greatness for Godzilla. Elijah, why did you think about Aron's declaration of greatness?
ELIJAH: I definitely think that the judo was definitely a big part. I was very interested about the living on a private island. I would love to live on a private island myself.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes, that sounds dreamy. Tom, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to smash your competition. And your time starts now.
TOM WEBER: Godzilla Island, not very creative. King Kong is from Skull Island. And talk about love, King Kong is a family man, too, a little movie called King Kong Lives includes a baby King Kong. Also, throwing someone over your shoulders, pfft, King Kong pounds his fists on the ground and creates an earthquake. And finally, lasers, I'm not impressed. Lasers fix cataracts. It just doesn't do much for me.
MOLLY BLOOM (WHISPERING): You have seven more seconds. [LAUGHS]
TOM WEBER (WHISPERING): I don't care. I've smashed the competition with it right now.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. Excellent work. Tom was so concise and succinct. He didn't even need the whole 30 seconds. Well, now, Tom, you have some more time. It's your turn for your declaration of greatness. So tell us why King Kong deserves the crown.
TOM WEBER: One of the most famous scenes in all of cinema is from the 1933 black and white classic, King Kong, when the mighty Kong climbs the Empire State Building. Let's go check it out.
MAN: Hey, buddy, what's going on?
TOM WEBER: It's King Kong.
MAN: What's King Kong?
TOM WEBER: It's that giant ape that lived on Skull Island off in the middle of nowhere, not really hurting anyone, until this guy came along and gassed and shackled him to bring him here to be something for us to gawk at in a Broadway show. But he got scared by the camera flashbulbs. And he broke loose, and now he's climbing the Empire State Building. Are you not entertained?
MAN: Oh, I see. So he was brought here against his will and acted out because he didn't know how we live or what we do.
TOM WEBER: Yes.
MAN: So you're saying it's a completely different situation than that Godzilla thing because that lizard monster came out from the water and just attacked everyone for no good reason. So you're saying Godzilla is a bully. But we literally kidnapped King Kong. And now we're just living with the consequences of our own actions.
TOM WEBER: Absolutely.
MAN: We should probably go find this Kong and tell him it's not his fault. We should have never bothered him.
TOM WEBER: Let's go. Friends, King Kong is not a bad dude. He's just been pushed too far. In fact, of all the monsters out there, he's the one most likely to save you. Godzilla doesn't care about anything, except destroying stuff. Oh, Kong destroys things, too. Heck, he's given dinosaurs and sea serpents, and even a robot version of Kong the what-for in his movies.
But in New York, he only attacked when he was provoked or when he's protecting those he loves, like Ann, a human woman that this big ape fell in love with. He would battle any monster to save her, including a T-rex.
[T-REX GROWLS]
And in the new Kong versus Godzilla movie, Kong protects humans to save his friend, a kid named Jia. Look at the two times there have been major movies where King Kong and Godzilla face off directly. Both movies have Godzilla breaking stuff all to heck while we humans turn to Kong to help us. Yes, sir, Godzilla is the villain.
Kong only wants to protect Ann, his ladylove. He climbs to the top of the Empire State Building with her. Then he's attacked by a swarm of airplanes. He's fighting them off, but he's trying to hold on and trying to protect Ann. At one point, he sets her down gingerly.
[KING KONG GROWLS]
Then he's wounded by the planes' gunfire and tragically falls to his death.
[KING KONG SCREAMS]
As one character says at the end of the movie, "Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast." Here's another reason why Kong is better than Godzilla, King Kong was first. The original King Kong movie came out in 1933. The first Godzilla movie wasn't until 1954, 21 years later. And the Kong movie was groundbreaking with its use of special effects.
In fact, the man who did the special effects for and co-created Godzilla, Eiji Tsuburaya, was completely influenced by King Kong as a kid. He later said, "I never forgot that movie. I thought to myself, "I will someday make a monster movie like that." So no King Kong, no Godzilla, people, checkmate. Game, set, match.
Next reason, King Kong was also an innovator at amusement parks. Universal Studios has had Kong-themed rides, like Kongfrontation and King Kong Encounter and Skull Island, Reign of Kong for decades. You ride through and suddenly, a life-sized animatronic Kong appears, towering above the cart you're riding in.
[KING KONG GROWLS]
[GIRL SCREAMS]
Oh, man, what memories, huh? And like all Kong-related things, these rides use special effects that are cutting edge and will keep you on the edge of your seat. Meanwhile, the first permanent Godzilla-themed ride at an amusement park just opened this year in Japan. King Kong, first again. I hate to do this because I feel like I've just been taking a huge Kong fist to Godzilla pummeling him to bits in this declaration of greatness. But I just have to.
Godzilla was a Japanese creation, and we're using the English version of the name, Godzilla. In Japan, this lizard atomic breath monster is called Gojira. And that word, it's a mash-up of two other words in Japanese, gorira and kojira. Those are the Japanese words for gorilla and whale. Godzilla's original Japanese name means gorilla whale. Hello, gorilla, homage to Kong, anyone?
If it's not perfectly clear to everyone by now, the point here isn't who can destroy more stuff or has cooler powers. In this world of super-sized destructive monsters, Kong is king. He's a trendsetter and literally, the reason all the others came along. And unlike that bully Godzilla whose only setting is temper tantrum, you want King Kong on your side.
Oh, he'll bust some heads, too. But there's a chance of getting through to his heart, his ginormous, ginormous heart.
MOLLY BLOOM: A multifaceted argument for the sensitive and entertaining King Kong. Elijah, what do you think about that argument?
ELIJAH: The first thing that stuck with me is the King Kong always comes first. I hate being second. I hate losing. I like being the original. And I think that that was one of the main things that stuck out to me. And the fact that they say that King Kong is just so loving and supportive, and he's just-- it's a good way to get through to him. I think that was something good to know.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good. Well, Aron, it is time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to blast your competition. And your time starts now.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: What can we say about King Kong? I don't need to talk about the ape's racist origins or problematic history of grabbing ladies through windows. I can talk about his massive size. And that's all. If you want to see how interesting King Kong is, don't go to the movies, go to a zoo because he really is just a big ape. I mean, the only cool things about apes are their use of tools and the possibility of using sign language.
You know what's not going to protect you from laser breath? Sign language or any tools.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: So on the one side, we've got a laser--
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh, so close.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Elijah, it's time to award your first two points. And remember, we're asking you to judge based on one simple thing, which side is cooler? It's up to you to decide the criteria. Did one side bring more robust research? Maybe the other made you laugh more. Whatever it is, make a decision. But don't tell us which side is getting the points.
So remember, one point for best declaration of greatness, and one point for the best rebuttal. So have you marked down your points?
ELIJAH: Yes.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Tom and Aron, how are you feeling about the battle so far?
TOM WEBER: Man, I feel gorilla-rific.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I feel very good. I feel like I brought up a lot of really interesting points about Godzilla. But I've got to give a little praise to Tom. I've got some primate sympathy going on. But I think in the end, Godzilla will prove through.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, well, it's time for a quick break, tear up some buildings, pound your chest, whatever you need to do.
ELIJAH: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
MARLEY: You're watching State of Debate, home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Taylor Lincoln here with my freaky friend and fallacy smasher--
TODD DOUGLAS: Todd Douglass. We crashed a serious logical fallacy fast today and stopped a slippery slope fallacy in its tracks.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Logical fallacies are debate mistakes that make for weak arguments.
TODD DOUGLAS: And the slippery slope fallacy is when you think an itty-bitty action or event will lead to an earth-shattering outcome.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Big personalities love to use it. But it's a load of baloney. Just listen to this from Chauncey the Clown.
CHAUNCEY: Oh, well, I cannot perform my circus act without my lucky juggling balls. I will not go on.
MAN: What's the difference? These balls are fine.
CHAUNCEY: Oh, no, if I don't have my lucky juggling balls, I will surely drop one. It will roll into the elephant ring. An elephant will slip on it and slide into the circus temple, which will crack and topples any trapeze artist flying into the stands as the tent collapses onto the audience.
[BUZZER]
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yikes! That clown was slipping and sliding all over the place with that slippery slope fallacy.
TODD DOUGLAS: Just because he doesn't have his lucky juggling balls does not mean the circus tent is going to collapse on the audience.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Or that any of those other terrible things are going to happen. That clown's got to try a new tactic because we're going to the circus right now. Come on, Todd!
TODD DOUGLAS: Coming.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Catch you next time on--
BOTH: State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Smash boom.
Smash.
Smash boom.
Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
ELIJAH: And I'm your judge, Elijah.
MOLLY BLOOM: One of my favorite things about this show is all the amazing debate ideas we get from listeners like you. Check out this awesome debate suggestion from Nora.
NORA: My debate idea is past versus future.
ELIJAH: It's about time we had this debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Nora at the end of this episode to see which side she thinks should win.
ELIJAH: And now, it's back to our debate of the day, Godzilla versus King Kong.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two the--
MARLEY: Micro Round.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: For today's Micro Round, it's monster cribs. We're here to take a tour of your monster mansion. We want to know what makes their digs so jaw-droppingly fantastic. Aron went first last time. So Tom, you're up. Let's hear about King Kong's crib.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
[DOOR OPENS]
ARTHUR KONG: Oh, hello, hello. You're the reporter from Mansions Magazine, right? Arthur Kong, nice to meet you. Oh, I know what you're thinking. King is just a title. Although Arthur is my real first name. Come on in. The pool people are here. They're filling the pool.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SIGHS] What can I say, my manse is a museum, tall ceilings, tall doorways, that's important. Never forget the doorways. You will bump your noggin in nothing flat. [LAUGHS] Now, let's see. Oh, yes, this is the banana room.
[DOOR OPENS]
It has a chute. So the delivery people can just dump the whole truck of bananas straight in from the driveway. Oh, I love technology. Speaking of technology, did you know, the technology used on my first film, revolutionary. The special effects had just never been done before. They used stop motion animation and matte painting, rear projection, and miniatures all to make me look so alive to those audiences back in 1933.
There were even reports of some people fainting because it all just seems so real. Can you believe that? [CHUCKLES] Well, I guess that's why I'm number 41 on the American Film Institute's list of 100 years, 100 movies. [LAUGHS] Oops, oops, you won't find Godzilla on that list. Yeah, the plaque is over there next to the reproduced skeletons of all the dinosaurs I felled on Skull Island. Oh, how I miss that place.
[PHONE RINGS]
Oh-- [CLEARS THROAT] --will you excuse me?
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello, this is Arthur. [CHUCKLES] It's my agent. Hey, Morty, what do you got? Commercial, how much? Yeah, when? Yeah, take it, bye. Oh, so sorry, looks like we'll have to cut this interview short. So good of you to come. Listen, if you come back in nine or 10 days, those folks out back should have the pool filled. Bring a towel. Ta-ta for now.
[DOOR CLOSES]
MOLLY BLOOM: A peek inside a monster mansion, sounds pretty groovy. All right, Aron, tell us about Godzilla's gargantuan villa.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Hey, Zilla gang, welcome to Monster Cribs, the only show where we show you what it's like to live like the king of the monsters. Now some monsters have caves, others have forests, but Godzilla has a whole island.
[HORN BLOWING]
Welcome to Godzilla Island, everyone. This spot has everything. We've got a sick volcano. And you know you can't say no to a volcano. It's too hot to touch. [LAUGHS] Most people don't know this, but when you're the size of a skyscraper, a volcano can be a great place to hold a barbecue. It's one-of-a-kind smoke that you can't get anywhere else. Now if you're feeling a little sick and achy, I suggest you try out one of our hot springs.
[HORN BLOWING]
What can I say, some monsters take showers, Godzilla likes baths. He's one of those.
[GODZILLA GROWLS]
And when you're all done with the day or just want to play a game of catch with your enormous reptile son, take a walk through Sanda Plains, a lush valley full of your favorite monsters. Plains are perfect for any monster-sized activity. Want to throw the old pig monster skin around? Head to the plains. Want to watch a foreboding meteor shower? Head to the plains. Want to duke it out with your platonic blood enemy? That's plain activity, if I've ever heard it.
[GODZILLA GROWLS]
That's all we've got for the show. But if you're ever rolling through the Pacific, come on by to Godzilla Island.
MOLLY BLOOM: Godzilla Island sounds like a pretty happening place. Elijah, what stood out to you in our debaters' Micro Rounds?
ELIJAH: I think that for King Kong or Arthur Kong, I should say--
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
ELIJAH: --one of the things that were funny to me--
[LAUGHS]
One of the things that were funny to me was the little shade of the "Oh, the plaque's over this way." I really like that. And then for Godzilla, the comment about the volcano and the grill, mm-hmm, is giving me fresh vibes, the best steak I ever had off the grill.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it's a tough decision. So you have to award a point, though. Don't tell us who's getting it. The criteria is up to you, where would you rather visit, who seem more persuasive, who made you laugh more. It's up to you. Have you awarded a point?
ELIJAH: Ooh. That's a tough one.
TOM WEBER (WHISPERING): King Kong, King Kong.
ELIJAH: This was a good round. This was a go round.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is hard. These debaters make it hard.
ELIJAH: I've awarded my point.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--
MEN: Ha-ha, hoo-ha!
MOLLY BLOOM: --Sneak Attack. Your Sneak Attack today is initial thoughts. We want you to write an acrostic poem for your side. That's a poem where the initial letter of each line spells out a word or phrase. For example, if your side was rat, you might write this acrostic, R, rodents, A, are, T, tricky. So it spells out rat. Luckily for us, Godzilla and King Kong are both eight letters. So it's a very even match-up. Tom and Aron, does that make sense?
TOM WEBER: Absolutely.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, I'll give you a few minutes to brainstorm. While you work, let's listen to some calming hold music.
[JAZZ MUSIC]
(SINGING) It's Godzilla, hear it cry, shooting lasers from its eyes. Atomic lizard, watch it scrape the sky. King Kong, watch him climb, scaling towers all the time. Awesome ape, a monster in his prime.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aron, you're up. Hit us with an atomic acrostic.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Guardian of the Earth, zany powers, incredible, loving, lizard, amazing.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
TOM WEBER: That's very beatnik. Cool, though.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very nice. Tom, we're ready for some chest-pounding poetry. Give us what you got.
TOM WEBER: Kong is necessary. Guy kills only the nasty and greedy.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good, both very impressive acrostics. Elijah, which poem impressed you most? Give the team a point that you think won this Sneak Attack round.
ELIJAH: This one was a really good round.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our debaters are on fire today. Have you awarded your point?
ELIJAH: Yes, I have. Yes I have.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Sounds like it was a tough decision.
ELIJAH: I'm looking at my notes. I'm like, ooh.
MOLLY BLOOM: They're not making it easy for you today. Well, it's time for our last around--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MARLEY: The Final Six.
MOLLY BLOOM: Tom, you're up. You've got just six words to make a lasting impression on Elijah here. Give us that King Kong charisma.
TOM WEBER: All right, you ready? Here we go. Without King Kong, there's no Godzilla.
MOLLY BLOOM: A thinker, I like it. All right, Aron, your turn, six words to get Godzilla-sh with it. What's it going to be?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Fear King, praise a Godzilla.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very nice. All right, today's behemoth battle is coming to an end. We've witnessed a super-sized struggle. But it's time to award the final point and crown one of these marvelous monsters the Smash Boom Best. Elijah, are you ready to award the final point?
ELIJAH: Oh my goodness, no.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aron and Tom, you guys have done such a good job. You've really stumped our judge.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I know.
TOM WEBER: Let's do this.
ELIJAH: Y'all have done an amazing job. I'm literally-- what?
MOLLY BLOOM: Have you tallied?
ELIJAH: I've tallied.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, drumroll, please. The winner is--
[DRUMROLL]
ELIJAH: King Kong.
TOM WEBER: Yes!
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Ahh!
TOM WEBER: Yes!
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: [SIGHS] It was the acrostic, wasn't it? I knew I shouldn't have used that. [GRUNTS]
MOLLY BLOOM: So Elijah, can you walk us through a little bit your decision-making process?
ELIJAH: Up until the last round, it was completely tied. For the first round, it was a split. I think that Godzilla had an amazing rebuttal. But the declaration of greatness for King Kong, it's just-- it stuck with me. The mansion round, I gave that one to Kong just because I like the little cockiness. Like "Oh, well, here's my plaque. And here's the high walls, the high ceilings." And I just like that.
But the poem, I gave it to Godzilla. But the last round, that was what really stumped me because I just think that King Kong really made this emphasis that without King Kong, there wouldn't be a Godzilla. And I just can't shake it.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I loved-- I love Kong's mansion. It was classy all the way, all his accolades, the money, the pool. It was lovely.
TOM WEBER: Fantastic job with Godzilla, Aron. I loved your six words, actually, loving the King, respecting the Godzilla. The turn of phrase there, man, I'm a big fan.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, that's it for today's colossal clash. Elijah crowned King Kong the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?
ELIJAH: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think should win.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: It's produced by Rosie DuPont, Sanden Totten, Ruby Guthrie, and Molly Bloom.
TOM WEBER: We had engineering help from Johnny Vince Evans and Jeremy [INAUDIBLE].
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: And we had production help from Marc Sanchez and Menaka Wilhelm.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios' executives-in-charge are Lily Kim, Alex Schaffert, and Joanne Griffith. Rosie DuPont is the voice of our whole music, and our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. We want to give p special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Coffman. Tom, is there anyone you want to thank today?
TOM WEBER: Everybody, just everybody. I'm in a good mood. I feel good. King Kong won. You're all great.
MOLLY BLOOM: How about you, Aron, any special shout-outs?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I want to think of Elijah. And I want to thank-- I want to reiterate my thanks to the team at Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you for being here. And Elijah, do you want to give any special thanks today?
ELIJAH: I want to give a special thanks to everybody. I appreciate being here. I appreciate listening to the debate. It was really fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is such a lovely end. Well, before we go, let's hear who Nora thinks should win in her future versus past debate.
NORA: I think that past would win because we can learn so much from the past, learn from the mistakes we made in the past, and find how as humans evolved from where we were a long time ago.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knockdown drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week. Ta-ta!
ELIJAH: So long.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: See you later. Woo!
[MUSIC PLAYING] Oohh, you're the smash boom best. Oohh, Put you through the test. Oohh, you're the smash boom best. Oohh, better than the rest. It's Smash Boom Best. It's Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: So are you ready, Elijah?
ELIJAH: Yes!
MOLLY BLOOM: Are you ready now?
ELIJAH: Definitely, let's do it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Are you ready now?
ELIJAH: Wait, I'm sorry.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm sorry.
MOLLY BLOOM: You did great.
ANNOUNCER: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. We hope you're ready for today's rage and rivalry because it's monstrous. In one corner, we've got that legendary lizard with atomic breath, Godzilla. And in the other, it's the gargantuan gorilla who scales skyscrapers, King Kong.
Which monster will be crowned the Smash Boom Beast? Hard to say, but lucky for us, we've got Elijah from Chicago here to help us decide. Hi, Elijah.
ELIJAH: Hey.
MOLLY BLOOM: So Elijah, when I say King Kong, what comes to mind?
ELIJAH: Kong Skull Island and how he was so protective of his island. It's just something that I'll never forget.
MOLLY BLOOM: And what about Godzilla, what comes to mind when I say Godzilla?
ELIJAH: When I hear Godzilla, I think of the fire coming out of his mouth. I think of the destruction of the cities. I think of-- I just think of war god, a war demon.
MOLLY BLOOM: So would you say you already have a preference for one of these mighty monsters?
ELIJAH: Going into the debate, I don't think I have any preference. I think that they're both great. And I just want to know more.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, our debaters are going to try to persuade you today. So speaking of debate, are you a debater yourself?
ELIJAH: Yes, I've been debating since I was in the sixth grade. I'm a junior now. So it's been a long, I think, five or six years.
MOLLY BLOOM: That is so cool. And so beyond the debate team, do you find yourself debating topics just like in your everyday life with friends and family?
ELIJAH: Yes, I always argue with my friends about Nicki or Cardi or Drake and Kanye West. It's a fight.
MOLLY BLOOM: And so like, what kind of tactics do you use in those conversations to try to persuade them that you're right?
ELIJAH: People tell me I know how to sweet talk. So I always know how to make it sound good. It just makes you just want to just think that I'm right, just because of I'm saying it.
MOLLY BLOOM: So you turn on the charm.
ELIJAH: I turn on the charm, for sure.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Well, let's meet our charming debaters today. Here to defend that sci-fi showstopper, Godzilla, it's radio producer and comedian, Aron Woldeslassie. Hi, Aron.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Hey, everybody. How are we doing today?
MOLLY BLOOM: We're doing great. Thank you so much for being here. So in a single sentence, why is Godzilla the Smash Boom Best?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh, here's a good one, Godzilla, laser beams, judo, homeowner, parent, kaiju.
MOLLY BLOOM: I'm intrigued. And here to represent the awesome ape, King Kong, it's journalist and author, Tom Weber. Hi, Tom.
TOM WEBER: Hello, everybody.
MOLLY BLOOM: So Tom, in one sentence, why is King Kong the coolest?
TOM WEBER: The perfect mix of brute strength with a sympathetic streak that makes you just want to cuddle him.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Well, let's review the rules of the game. Round One is the Declaration of Greatness, where our debaters will present fact-filled arguments in favor of their side. They'll also get 30 seconds each to rebut their opponent's statement. Then we've got the Micro Round, where each team will respond to a creative assignment they received in advance.
Round Three is the Sneak Attack, a surprise challenge debaters will respond to on the spot. And to wrap it all up, we've got the Final Six, where each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Our judge, Elijah, will award two points in the first round, one for his favorite rebuttal, one for his preferred declaration. And then he'll award one point in each round after that. But he'll keep his decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge, too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Everybody, are you ready?
TOM WEBER: Yes!
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: So excited.
ELIJAH: I'm ready. I need somebody to show me what's really the best.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the--
MARLEY: Declaration of Greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our debaters will present the most fascinating facts and awesome arguments in favor of their side. We flipped a coin, and Aron, you're up first. Tell us why Godzilla is the greatest.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Godzilla goes by many names, Japan's favorite kaiju, the Thunder Lizard, the scourge of the Pacific. But in order to out who he really is, we asked some of Godzilla's closest colleagues, the giant monsters, King Ghidorah, Mothra, and of course, Mechagodzilla.
KING GHIDORAH: What can I say about Godzilla? He's terrifying.
MOTHRA: He's monstrous.
MECHAGODZILLA: He is the baddest lizard in show business.
KING GHIDORAH: One time, he literally threw me over his shoulder. I was stunned.
MOTHRA: I remember that. That was crazy. You're huge with three heads. And he just--
KING GHIDORAH: Whipped me around like I was a bag of laundry.
MOTHRA: Unbelievable.
MECHAGODZILLA: One time, he absorbed the soul of his friend and shot me with a laser.
KING GHIDORAH: Which laser beam?
MECHAGODZILLA: The red spiral one.
KING GHIDORAH: Yeah, that one stings a lot, buddy. He's just so--
MOTHRA: Powerful?
MECHAGODZILLA: Terrifying.
KING GHIDORAH: Right behind you!
[GODZILLA GROWLING]
MECHAGODZILLA: It's Godzilla, run for your lives.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Running for your life makes sense because Godzilla is the baddest monster out there.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Like a cold-blooded Nicolas Cage, he's been in over 30 films, meaning Godzilla has the longest-running film franchise in history. He's also been in dozens of comics and a few video games. He's fought everything, from the Avengers to his own clone, and won! And it's no wonder he's over 900 feet tall. He can regenerate when he's hurt. He can throw up a force field for periods of time. And most notably, he can shoot lasers from his mouth.
[GODZILLA GROWLS]
[LASER SHOTS]
He's also been known to hit his foes with jump kicks, wrestling holds, and judo moves probably because the actor who originally played Godzilla has a black belt in judo. Not to get too meta, but early on, Godzilla was played by a guy in a rubber suit. And that man had an actual black belt in judo. So he uses the moves all of the time.
[GODZILLA WHINES]
Come on, pal, that's how you got started.
[GODZILLA GROWLS]
Thank you. But how did Godzilla get all these powers? One word--
[GODZILLA WHINES]
Sorry, two words, nuclear radiation. Most lumbering in the Pacific Ocean, a reptile was blasted by nuclear radiation. After absorbing the radiation, the reptile transformed into Godzilla, the city-destroying monster we respect and fear. But a lot of monsters are made to scare people. Godzilla was made because people were already scared.
Godzilla was unleashed in Japan just nine years after atomic weapons were dropped on the nation during World War II. These weapons destroyed the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and were seen as awesomely destructive. Godzilla represents the fearsome power of nuclear radiation, which is just one more reason the nuclear lizard is so interesting. But Godzilla's also a symbol for love.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Case in point, he has an adopted son. The little guy's name is Minilla. And he looks just like an adorable baby Godzilla.
[BABY COOS]
GODZILLA: Oh, so cute.
[BABY LAUGHS]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: The two met when baby Minilla was being attacked by giant praying mantises. Well, not the most conventional adoption story. It speaks to Godzilla's good-natured spirit and fatherly charm or motherly charm. Technically, we don't know Godzilla's gender. But that's besides the point. Baby Minilla can't quite fight like Godzilla. But he can do some pretty cool tricks.
For example, he can shrink down to the size of a human child, and he can talk. Imagine you're hanging out on the couch and a child-sized Godzilla comes into the room and sits right next to you.
MINILLA: Hey, guys, it's me, Minilla.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: You can do so many fun things with Minilla, like play basketball or bake a cake or even help record this podcast. Hey, Minilla, what's it like having a celebrity dad?
MINILLA: It's pretty much like having any parent. But I communicate with mine telepathically. And sometimes he shoots lasers.
[LASER SHOT]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Like most parents, Godzilla's been working since the early '50s, and he still looks great.
[GODZILLA WHINES]
De nada. And like most people from the '50s, he already owns a home that has skyrocketed in value because while regular people live in houses, apartments, or vans down by the river, Godzilla lives on a private island literally called Godzilla Island. There, Godzilla, his son, and some of his monster buddies hang out and await for the next threat to befall the Earth.
But fear not, if a creature ever terrorizes your town or more likely downtown Tokyo, it won't be long before someone yells, run for your life, it's Godzilla!
MOLLY BLOOM: A laser-focused declaration of greatness for Godzilla. Elijah, why did you think about Aron's declaration of greatness?
ELIJAH: I definitely think that the judo was definitely a big part. I was very interested about the living on a private island. I would love to live on a private island myself.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes, that sounds dreamy. Tom, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to smash your competition. And your time starts now.
TOM WEBER: Godzilla Island, not very creative. King Kong is from Skull Island. And talk about love, King Kong is a family man, too, a little movie called King Kong Lives includes a baby King Kong. Also, throwing someone over your shoulders, pfft, King Kong pounds his fists on the ground and creates an earthquake. And finally, lasers, I'm not impressed. Lasers fix cataracts. It just doesn't do much for me.
MOLLY BLOOM (WHISPERING): You have seven more seconds. [LAUGHS]
TOM WEBER (WHISPERING): I don't care. I've smashed the competition with it right now.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. Excellent work. Tom was so concise and succinct. He didn't even need the whole 30 seconds. Well, now, Tom, you have some more time. It's your turn for your declaration of greatness. So tell us why King Kong deserves the crown.
TOM WEBER: One of the most famous scenes in all of cinema is from the 1933 black and white classic, King Kong, when the mighty Kong climbs the Empire State Building. Let's go check it out.
MAN: Hey, buddy, what's going on?
TOM WEBER: It's King Kong.
MAN: What's King Kong?
TOM WEBER: It's that giant ape that lived on Skull Island off in the middle of nowhere, not really hurting anyone, until this guy came along and gassed and shackled him to bring him here to be something for us to gawk at in a Broadway show. But he got scared by the camera flashbulbs. And he broke loose, and now he's climbing the Empire State Building. Are you not entertained?
MAN: Oh, I see. So he was brought here against his will and acted out because he didn't know how we live or what we do.
TOM WEBER: Yes.
MAN: So you're saying it's a completely different situation than that Godzilla thing because that lizard monster came out from the water and just attacked everyone for no good reason. So you're saying Godzilla is a bully. But we literally kidnapped King Kong. And now we're just living with the consequences of our own actions.
TOM WEBER: Absolutely.
MAN: We should probably go find this Kong and tell him it's not his fault. We should have never bothered him.
TOM WEBER: Let's go. Friends, King Kong is not a bad dude. He's just been pushed too far. In fact, of all the monsters out there, he's the one most likely to save you. Godzilla doesn't care about anything, except destroying stuff. Oh, Kong destroys things, too. Heck, he's given dinosaurs and sea serpents, and even a robot version of Kong the what-for in his movies.
But in New York, he only attacked when he was provoked or when he's protecting those he loves, like Ann, a human woman that this big ape fell in love with. He would battle any monster to save her, including a T-rex.
[T-REX GROWLS]
And in the new Kong versus Godzilla movie, Kong protects humans to save his friend, a kid named Jia. Look at the two times there have been major movies where King Kong and Godzilla face off directly. Both movies have Godzilla breaking stuff all to heck while we humans turn to Kong to help us. Yes, sir, Godzilla is the villain.
Kong only wants to protect Ann, his ladylove. He climbs to the top of the Empire State Building with her. Then he's attacked by a swarm of airplanes. He's fighting them off, but he's trying to hold on and trying to protect Ann. At one point, he sets her down gingerly.
[KING KONG GROWLS]
Then he's wounded by the planes' gunfire and tragically falls to his death.
[KING KONG SCREAMS]
As one character says at the end of the movie, "Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast." Here's another reason why Kong is better than Godzilla, King Kong was first. The original King Kong movie came out in 1933. The first Godzilla movie wasn't until 1954, 21 years later. And the Kong movie was groundbreaking with its use of special effects.
In fact, the man who did the special effects for and co-created Godzilla, Eiji Tsuburaya, was completely influenced by King Kong as a kid. He later said, "I never forgot that movie. I thought to myself, "I will someday make a monster movie like that." So no King Kong, no Godzilla, people, checkmate. Game, set, match.
Next reason, King Kong was also an innovator at amusement parks. Universal Studios has had Kong-themed rides, like Kongfrontation and King Kong Encounter and Skull Island, Reign of Kong for decades. You ride through and suddenly, a life-sized animatronic Kong appears, towering above the cart you're riding in.
[KING KONG GROWLS]
[GIRL SCREAMS]
Oh, man, what memories, huh? And like all Kong-related things, these rides use special effects that are cutting edge and will keep you on the edge of your seat. Meanwhile, the first permanent Godzilla-themed ride at an amusement park just opened this year in Japan. King Kong, first again. I hate to do this because I feel like I've just been taking a huge Kong fist to Godzilla pummeling him to bits in this declaration of greatness. But I just have to.
Godzilla was a Japanese creation, and we're using the English version of the name, Godzilla. In Japan, this lizard atomic breath monster is called Gojira. And that word, it's a mash-up of two other words in Japanese, gorira and kojira. Those are the Japanese words for gorilla and whale. Godzilla's original Japanese name means gorilla whale. Hello, gorilla, homage to Kong, anyone?
If it's not perfectly clear to everyone by now, the point here isn't who can destroy more stuff or has cooler powers. In this world of super-sized destructive monsters, Kong is king. He's a trendsetter and literally, the reason all the others came along. And unlike that bully Godzilla whose only setting is temper tantrum, you want King Kong on your side.
Oh, he'll bust some heads, too. But there's a chance of getting through to his heart, his ginormous, ginormous heart.
MOLLY BLOOM: A multifaceted argument for the sensitive and entertaining King Kong. Elijah, what do you think about that argument?
ELIJAH: The first thing that stuck with me is the King Kong always comes first. I hate being second. I hate losing. I like being the original. And I think that that was one of the main things that stuck out to me. And the fact that they say that King Kong is just so loving and supportive, and he's just-- it's a good way to get through to him. I think that was something good to know.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good. Well, Aron, it is time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to blast your competition. And your time starts now.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: What can we say about King Kong? I don't need to talk about the ape's racist origins or problematic history of grabbing ladies through windows. I can talk about his massive size. And that's all. If you want to see how interesting King Kong is, don't go to the movies, go to a zoo because he really is just a big ape. I mean, the only cool things about apes are their use of tools and the possibility of using sign language.
You know what's not going to protect you from laser breath? Sign language or any tools.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: So on the one side, we've got a laser--
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh, so close.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Elijah, it's time to award your first two points. And remember, we're asking you to judge based on one simple thing, which side is cooler? It's up to you to decide the criteria. Did one side bring more robust research? Maybe the other made you laugh more. Whatever it is, make a decision. But don't tell us which side is getting the points.
So remember, one point for best declaration of greatness, and one point for the best rebuttal. So have you marked down your points?
ELIJAH: Yes.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Tom and Aron, how are you feeling about the battle so far?
TOM WEBER: Man, I feel gorilla-rific.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I feel very good. I feel like I brought up a lot of really interesting points about Godzilla. But I've got to give a little praise to Tom. I've got some primate sympathy going on. But I think in the end, Godzilla will prove through.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, well, it's time for a quick break, tear up some buildings, pound your chest, whatever you need to do.
ELIJAH: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
MARLEY: You're watching State of Debate, home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Taylor Lincoln here with my freaky friend and fallacy smasher--
TODD DOUGLAS: Todd Douglass. We crashed a serious logical fallacy fast today and stopped a slippery slope fallacy in its tracks.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Logical fallacies are debate mistakes that make for weak arguments.
TODD DOUGLAS: And the slippery slope fallacy is when you think an itty-bitty action or event will lead to an earth-shattering outcome.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Big personalities love to use it. But it's a load of baloney. Just listen to this from Chauncey the Clown.
CHAUNCEY: Oh, well, I cannot perform my circus act without my lucky juggling balls. I will not go on.
MAN: What's the difference? These balls are fine.
CHAUNCEY: Oh, no, if I don't have my lucky juggling balls, I will surely drop one. It will roll into the elephant ring. An elephant will slip on it and slide into the circus temple, which will crack and topples any trapeze artist flying into the stands as the tent collapses onto the audience.
[BUZZER]
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yikes! That clown was slipping and sliding all over the place with that slippery slope fallacy.
TODD DOUGLAS: Just because he doesn't have his lucky juggling balls does not mean the circus tent is going to collapse on the audience.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Or that any of those other terrible things are going to happen. That clown's got to try a new tactic because we're going to the circus right now. Come on, Todd!
TODD DOUGLAS: Coming.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Catch you next time on--
BOTH: State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Smash boom.
Smash.
Smash boom.
Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
ELIJAH: And I'm your judge, Elijah.
MOLLY BLOOM: One of my favorite things about this show is all the amazing debate ideas we get from listeners like you. Check out this awesome debate suggestion from Nora.
NORA: My debate idea is past versus future.
ELIJAH: It's about time we had this debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Nora at the end of this episode to see which side she thinks should win.
ELIJAH: And now, it's back to our debate of the day, Godzilla versus King Kong.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two the--
MARLEY: Micro Round.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: For today's Micro Round, it's monster cribs. We're here to take a tour of your monster mansion. We want to know what makes their digs so jaw-droppingly fantastic. Aron went first last time. So Tom, you're up. Let's hear about King Kong's crib.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
[DOOR OPENS]
ARTHUR KONG: Oh, hello, hello. You're the reporter from Mansions Magazine, right? Arthur Kong, nice to meet you. Oh, I know what you're thinking. King is just a title. Although Arthur is my real first name. Come on in. The pool people are here. They're filling the pool.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SIGHS] What can I say, my manse is a museum, tall ceilings, tall doorways, that's important. Never forget the doorways. You will bump your noggin in nothing flat. [LAUGHS] Now, let's see. Oh, yes, this is the banana room.
[DOOR OPENS]
It has a chute. So the delivery people can just dump the whole truck of bananas straight in from the driveway. Oh, I love technology. Speaking of technology, did you know, the technology used on my first film, revolutionary. The special effects had just never been done before. They used stop motion animation and matte painting, rear projection, and miniatures all to make me look so alive to those audiences back in 1933.
There were even reports of some people fainting because it all just seems so real. Can you believe that? [CHUCKLES] Well, I guess that's why I'm number 41 on the American Film Institute's list of 100 years, 100 movies. [LAUGHS] Oops, oops, you won't find Godzilla on that list. Yeah, the plaque is over there next to the reproduced skeletons of all the dinosaurs I felled on Skull Island. Oh, how I miss that place.
[PHONE RINGS]
Oh-- [CLEARS THROAT] --will you excuse me?
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello, this is Arthur. [CHUCKLES] It's my agent. Hey, Morty, what do you got? Commercial, how much? Yeah, when? Yeah, take it, bye. Oh, so sorry, looks like we'll have to cut this interview short. So good of you to come. Listen, if you come back in nine or 10 days, those folks out back should have the pool filled. Bring a towel. Ta-ta for now.
[DOOR CLOSES]
MOLLY BLOOM: A peek inside a monster mansion, sounds pretty groovy. All right, Aron, tell us about Godzilla's gargantuan villa.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Hey, Zilla gang, welcome to Monster Cribs, the only show where we show you what it's like to live like the king of the monsters. Now some monsters have caves, others have forests, but Godzilla has a whole island.
[HORN BLOWING]
Welcome to Godzilla Island, everyone. This spot has everything. We've got a sick volcano. And you know you can't say no to a volcano. It's too hot to touch. [LAUGHS] Most people don't know this, but when you're the size of a skyscraper, a volcano can be a great place to hold a barbecue. It's one-of-a-kind smoke that you can't get anywhere else. Now if you're feeling a little sick and achy, I suggest you try out one of our hot springs.
[HORN BLOWING]
What can I say, some monsters take showers, Godzilla likes baths. He's one of those.
[GODZILLA GROWLS]
And when you're all done with the day or just want to play a game of catch with your enormous reptile son, take a walk through Sanda Plains, a lush valley full of your favorite monsters. Plains are perfect for any monster-sized activity. Want to throw the old pig monster skin around? Head to the plains. Want to watch a foreboding meteor shower? Head to the plains. Want to duke it out with your platonic blood enemy? That's plain activity, if I've ever heard it.
[GODZILLA GROWLS]
That's all we've got for the show. But if you're ever rolling through the Pacific, come on by to Godzilla Island.
MOLLY BLOOM: Godzilla Island sounds like a pretty happening place. Elijah, what stood out to you in our debaters' Micro Rounds?
ELIJAH: I think that for King Kong or Arthur Kong, I should say--
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
ELIJAH: --one of the things that were funny to me--
[LAUGHS]
One of the things that were funny to me was the little shade of the "Oh, the plaque's over this way." I really like that. And then for Godzilla, the comment about the volcano and the grill, mm-hmm, is giving me fresh vibes, the best steak I ever had off the grill.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it's a tough decision. So you have to award a point, though. Don't tell us who's getting it. The criteria is up to you, where would you rather visit, who seem more persuasive, who made you laugh more. It's up to you. Have you awarded a point?
ELIJAH: Ooh. That's a tough one.
TOM WEBER (WHISPERING): King Kong, King Kong.
ELIJAH: This was a good round. This was a go round.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is hard. These debaters make it hard.
ELIJAH: I've awarded my point.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--
MEN: Ha-ha, hoo-ha!
MOLLY BLOOM: --Sneak Attack. Your Sneak Attack today is initial thoughts. We want you to write an acrostic poem for your side. That's a poem where the initial letter of each line spells out a word or phrase. For example, if your side was rat, you might write this acrostic, R, rodents, A, are, T, tricky. So it spells out rat. Luckily for us, Godzilla and King Kong are both eight letters. So it's a very even match-up. Tom and Aron, does that make sense?
TOM WEBER: Absolutely.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, I'll give you a few minutes to brainstorm. While you work, let's listen to some calming hold music.
[JAZZ MUSIC]
(SINGING) It's Godzilla, hear it cry, shooting lasers from its eyes. Atomic lizard, watch it scrape the sky. King Kong, watch him climb, scaling towers all the time. Awesome ape, a monster in his prime.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aron, you're up. Hit us with an atomic acrostic.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Guardian of the Earth, zany powers, incredible, loving, lizard, amazing.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
TOM WEBER: That's very beatnik. Cool, though.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very nice. Tom, we're ready for some chest-pounding poetry. Give us what you got.
TOM WEBER: Kong is necessary. Guy kills only the nasty and greedy.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good, both very impressive acrostics. Elijah, which poem impressed you most? Give the team a point that you think won this Sneak Attack round.
ELIJAH: This one was a really good round.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our debaters are on fire today. Have you awarded your point?
ELIJAH: Yes, I have. Yes I have.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Sounds like it was a tough decision.
ELIJAH: I'm looking at my notes. I'm like, ooh.
MOLLY BLOOM: They're not making it easy for you today. Well, it's time for our last around--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MARLEY: The Final Six.
MOLLY BLOOM: Tom, you're up. You've got just six words to make a lasting impression on Elijah here. Give us that King Kong charisma.
TOM WEBER: All right, you ready? Here we go. Without King Kong, there's no Godzilla.
MOLLY BLOOM: A thinker, I like it. All right, Aron, your turn, six words to get Godzilla-sh with it. What's it going to be?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Fear King, praise a Godzilla.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very nice. All right, today's behemoth battle is coming to an end. We've witnessed a super-sized struggle. But it's time to award the final point and crown one of these marvelous monsters the Smash Boom Best. Elijah, are you ready to award the final point?
ELIJAH: Oh my goodness, no.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aron and Tom, you guys have done such a good job. You've really stumped our judge.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I know.
TOM WEBER: Let's do this.
ELIJAH: Y'all have done an amazing job. I'm literally-- what?
MOLLY BLOOM: Have you tallied?
ELIJAH: I've tallied.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, drumroll, please. The winner is--
[DRUMROLL]
ELIJAH: King Kong.
TOM WEBER: Yes!
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Ahh!
TOM WEBER: Yes!
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: [SIGHS] It was the acrostic, wasn't it? I knew I shouldn't have used that. [GRUNTS]
MOLLY BLOOM: So Elijah, can you walk us through a little bit your decision-making process?
ELIJAH: Up until the last round, it was completely tied. For the first round, it was a split. I think that Godzilla had an amazing rebuttal. But the declaration of greatness for King Kong, it's just-- it stuck with me. The mansion round, I gave that one to Kong just because I like the little cockiness. Like "Oh, well, here's my plaque. And here's the high walls, the high ceilings." And I just like that.
But the poem, I gave it to Godzilla. But the last round, that was what really stumped me because I just think that King Kong really made this emphasis that without King Kong, there wouldn't be a Godzilla. And I just can't shake it.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I loved-- I love Kong's mansion. It was classy all the way, all his accolades, the money, the pool. It was lovely.
TOM WEBER: Fantastic job with Godzilla, Aron. I loved your six words, actually, loving the King, respecting the Godzilla. The turn of phrase there, man, I'm a big fan.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, that's it for today's colossal clash. Elijah crowned King Kong the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?
ELIJAH: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think should win.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: It's produced by Rosie DuPont, Sanden Totten, Ruby Guthrie, and Molly Bloom.
TOM WEBER: We had engineering help from Johnny Vince Evans and Jeremy [INAUDIBLE].
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: And we had production help from Marc Sanchez and Menaka Wilhelm.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios' executives-in-charge are Lily Kim, Alex Schaffert, and Joanne Griffith. Rosie DuPont is the voice of our whole music, and our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. We want to give p special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Coffman. Tom, is there anyone you want to thank today?
TOM WEBER: Everybody, just everybody. I'm in a good mood. I feel good. King Kong won. You're all great.
MOLLY BLOOM: How about you, Aron, any special shout-outs?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I want to think of Elijah. And I want to thank-- I want to reiterate my thanks to the team at Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you for being here. And Elijah, do you want to give any special thanks today?
ELIJAH: I want to give a special thanks to everybody. I appreciate being here. I appreciate listening to the debate. It was really fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is such a lovely end. Well, before we go, let's hear who Nora thinks should win in her future versus past debate.
NORA: I think that past would win because we can learn so much from the past, learn from the mistakes we made in the past, and find how as humans evolved from where we were a long time ago.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knockdown drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week. Ta-ta!
ELIJAH: So long.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: See you later. Woo!
[MUSIC PLAYING] Oohh, you're the smash boom best. Oohh, Put you through the test. Oohh, you're the smash boom best. Oohh, better than the rest. It's Smash Boom Best. It's Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: So are you ready, Elijah?
ELIJAH: Yes!
MOLLY BLOOM: Are you ready now?
ELIJAH: Definitely, let's do it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Are you ready now?
ELIJAH: Wait, I'm sorry.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm sorry.
MOLLY BLOOM: You did great.
Transcription services provided by 3Play Media.
