Today’s debate has some real skin in the game. It’s a wild matchup between two creatures of the depths. It’s Blobfish vs. Naked Mole Rat! In one corner we’ve got actor and comedian Mike Cabellon ready to put on the pressure for team Blobfish! And donning the mantle for team Naked Mole Rat is comedian Comrade Tripp. Who will be crowned the Smash Boom Best? Vote below to tell us who YOU think won!
This week’s sponsors are: IF - from writer and director John Krasinski comes a new film about what happens to our Imaginary Friends (IFs) when we grow up. Out in theaters on May 17th!
Also… do you have your Smarty Pass yet? Get yours today for just $4/month (or $36/year) and get bonus episodes every month, and ad-free versions of every episode of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Moment of Um and Forever Ago. Visit www.smartypass.org to get your Smarty Pass today. As an added bonus, your Smarty Pass will grant you access to a super special debate starring Sanden and Molly!
Audio Transcript
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ANNOUNCER: From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.
LINNEA: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a match-up between two dazzling denizens of the depths. It's blobfish versus naked mole rat. We've got actor and comedian, Mike Cabellon, ready to put on the pressure for team blobfish.
MARK CABELLON: Team blobfish here to make you sob fish.
MOLLY BLOOM: And comedian, Comrade Tripp is here to don the mantle for team naked mole rat.
COMRADE TRIPP: The mantle, the core, the crust, every layer of the Earth, we're going to unearth the truth.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is, Linnea, from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Linnea loves to read, has a soft spot for ugly animals, and has visited around 20 national parks. Hi, Linnea.
LINNEA: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So you've been to 20 national parks. That's an incredible feat. Which one was your favorite?
LINNEA: Definitely Dry Tortugas in Florida.
MOLLY BLOOM: Tell me about it. I don't know anything about it.
LINNEA: OK. So it's basically just an island in the middle of the sea that you have to take a boat to. And on this island, there's a huge historic fort and there's a moat that you can walk around and see a coral reef in the water. And there's a beach where you can go swimming. It's so cool.
MOLLY BLOOM: That sounds amazing. So is there one that's still on your list that you haven't visited?
LINNEA: OK, so I haven't been to Voyagers, which is here, in Minnesota, so it seems kind of weird. But it's part of the Boundary Waters that separate the US and Canada. And it's mostly water but there's still hiking trails and stuff that you can do.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very cool. OK. So what is it that you love about ugly animals?
LINNEA: I don't know, it's just their charm. Like most people hate them. But I look at a picture of an ugly animal and I see the things that make it cute. Like maybe it has tiny ears or something, or a little curly tail. It's not about the big picture. It's the little things.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's wonderful. So do you have any advice for our debaters today?
LINNEA: Don't afraid to be mean, I don't know. There's just something about people not like having a filter and just saying what they want about what they believe.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, so maybe not mean. Maybe just direct.
LINNEA: Yeah, direct.
MARK CABELLON: No, I just threw out all of my polite notes, so here we go.
COMRADE TRIPP: I've never been mean before.
MOLLY BLOOM: Will Linnea side with Mike or Comrade? We'll have to dig in to see. Linnea, are you ready to judge today's debate?
LINNEA: Never been readier.
MOLLY BLOOM: Amazing. Before we dive in, let's review the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds of argumentation, the Declaration of Greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack, and the final 6. After each round, our judge Linnea will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. OK, Mike, Comrade, and Linnea, are you ready?
LINNEA: Yes.
MARK CABELLON: Let's do it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the.
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of Greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30s to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin, and Mike, you're up first. Tell us what makes blobfish worthy of the win.
MARLIN: Hey, dudes. I'm marlin the blue marlin.
SAM: And I'm Sam, the Atlantic salmon. We are best friends and the coolest fish in our school.
MARLIN: Yeah, we are. We listen to the coolest music.
SAM: Eat the coolest food.
SAM: And have the coolest time. We're just the coolest fish around. Geez, here comes Bob the blobfish.
BOB: Hey, guys. Did you guys do your algebra homework? Oh, by the way, great news. We're having a pop quiz today. Yeah.
SAM: Bob.
MARLIN: Bob. So uncool.
MARK CABELLON: Sure, the blobfish might not seem like the coolest creature in the sea at first glance. It looks all floppy and squishy, kind of like it's melting. Plus, it has slimy skin, a wide, sad mouth, and what looks like a big, bulbous nose. But once you get to know the blobfish, you'll realize it's truly incredible and worthy of our love and respect.
BOB: Yeah, only look like a melty blob when I'm taken out of the water. I live almost 4000 feet deep in the ocean, and I look totally different down there. Check it out.
MARK CABELLON: See?
MARLIN: Bob, you're beautiful.
SAM: So cool.
MARK CABELLON: It's true. The blobfish is perfectly suited for living thousands of feet underwater, where water pressure is really high. The pressure of the deep ocean works almost like your skeleton works in your body. It holds everything in place. That's why the blobfish looks like a squishy lump when it's pulled from the ocean.
BOB: Oh, no.
MARK CABELLON: Its body is actually a fascinating piece of evolution. Because it lives on the ocean floor, the blobfish has no swim bladder. Now, for those of you who aren't proficient in marine biology, a swim bladder is a special organ lots of fish use to stay afloat in the water. Instead of a boring, old swim bladder, the blobfish uses something else to float, its beautiful, gelatinous skin.
And unlike other fish, who are constantly rushing around, the blobfish is incredibly chill. In fact, a lot of its time is spent waiting, waiting for prey. The blobfish is a very patient hunter. This deep sea diner waits for crustaceans or other sea creatures to walk in front of it, then munch. Snaps them up.
Makes sense, right? Why go around chasing food when you can just wait for it to come to you?
BLOBFISH: Hey, Tony, you want to drive 50 miles to get a slice of pizza?
TONY: Nah, let's just get it delivered and have it come to us, like we are noble blobfish.
MARK CABELLON: The blobfish isn't just an evolutionary marvel and a highly efficient hunter, it's also super hip. That's right. This fish is cool, edgy, and so new, at least to us. Scientists first discovered it in 2003, making it a Gen Z icon. In fact, the very day it was discovered, its picture was taken and the viral fish sensation, Mr. Blobby, was born.
Since then, the blobfish has taken the world by storm there have been blobfish toys, memes, songs, even TV characters.
MARLIN: Bob, you're on TV?
BOB: Yeah. But only until my music career takes off.
MARK CABELLON: The blobfish is also an activist it's the official mascot of the Ugly Animal Preservation Society, a group that works to educate young people on the conservation of ugly animals. Thanks to the blobfish, other less good looking animals, like say, the naked mole rat, are getting the attention they need.
SAM: Wow, Bob. I didn't know you were so beautiful on the outside and inside.
BOB: Thanks, Sam. Hey, you guys want to split a krill shake?
MARLIN: Seriously?
SAM: OMG. Totally.
MARK CABELLON: Once you get to know the awesome interior life of a blobfish, like Bob, you'll realize these creatures are more than just a deep sea diving hunter with a heart of gold. They're compassionate, complex.
ALL: And super cool.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, a declaration of greatness to make Mr. Blobby proud. Linnea, what stood out to you about Mike's argument?
LINNEA: I loved the swim bladder pun, the proficient thing. It was so funny. And I also liked how you had a ton of facts in there. I didn't know that the blobfish didn't have a swim bladder. And so that was really interesting to learn.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good. OK, Comrade, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why blobfish fall flat. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
COMRADE TRIPP: So they don't do anything. They just hang out. They're not even ugly. They just look like regular fish.
They're not even a blob. They're just regular fish. I mean, all fish are kind of ugly. But, I mean, it makes sense why they're going extinct if they're not doing anything. Gen Z, is 2003, is that still Gen Z?
I don't know enough about time to-- blobfish? More like nah, no. No thank you, fish. More like blah fish.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
COMRADE TRIPP: I'm learning to be mean.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mike, anything you want to say?
MARK CABELLON: Wow. So much, but I'm going to save it for my rebuttal.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, sounds good. All right, Comrade, it is your turn. Tell us why naked mole rats are top of the heap.
SPEAKER 1: I found something incredible, a discovery that will revolutionize the field of zoology.
SPEAKER 2: Is that a raw bratwurst?
SPEAKER 3: Or a very large pink raisin?
SPEAKER 2: No. It's a burrito inside of another loosely wrapped burrito.
SPEAKER 1: I think it's a mole or a rat or something. I found a bunch of them underground and each one is more beautiful than the next. I think I'll call it the wrinkled mouse gerbil.
SPEAKER 3: How about we call it the naked raisin bratwurst?
SPEAKER 2: Oh, or the bald mole bandicoot.
SPEAKER 3: Or the unclothed badger rat.
SPEAKER 1: No, no, no. You named the last species. It's my turn. It's the naked mole rat.
SPEAKER 2: The naked mole rat.
SPEAKER 3: The naked mole rat.
SPEAKER 1: The naked mole rat.
COMRADE TRIPP: Naked mole rat. Individually, those three words are the most unappealing I've ever heard. But when you put them together, you get the most perfect creature to ever exist. It's not a mole or a rat, and it's not completely naked, but no other name quite fits. Except maybe Smash Boom Best winner.
Naked mole rat may look soft and fragile, but they're actually super survivors. They don't need to drink water, they don't need sunlight, and they barely need air. How is this possible, you ask? They live in underground tunnels so they've evolved to get all the water they need from eating plant roots. And they can go without oxygen for up to 18 minutes.
Plus, naked mole rats can live up to 30 years, which is at least two times longer than most any pet, cat, dog, or fish. Shout out to my childhood pets, my two fish, my two cats, and my dog, rest in peace. Maybe if I'd gotten a pet naked mole rat back then I wouldn't be alone now.
Another thing that helps them live long lives, they almost never get cancer. Scientists don't know why, but they think a special compound in their loose, stretchy skin might be the reason. And as they grow older, they don't look any differently than they did when they were young. Naked mole rats are spry and limber until the end.
Healthy as a horse? More like healthy as a naked mole rat. The super tough creatures live in colonies and are led by a super tough queen. You've heard of the queen bee. Well, the queen naked mole rat is bigger and badder than any other, literally. She can grow twice as big as the rest and fights off anyone who dare challenge her.
Every colony has its own dialect of squeaks, taught by its queen, who sings to her servants, instructing them what to do. She even has a special song for when she uses the bathroom.
QUEEN: [SINGING] Dig far and dig deep, and share what I've sung. Build new bedrooms to sleep and care for my young. As your queen, I command you, follow my every decree. Also, build me a bathroom because I've got to go pee.
COMRADE TRIPP: Each naked mole rat has its own role in their society, digging new tunnels and rooms, searching for food, and caring for dozens of babies. But even though they all have jobs, they have to work together.
Naked mole rats are cold blooded, like lizards, so they have no way to regulate their own body temperature. To keep each other warm they cooperate and huddle together. We could all learn something from these little pink rodents.
Naked mole rats, they live longer than horses, are cold blooded like lizards, sing like songbirds, spend their entire lives underground, and dodge cancer. Naked mole rats versus blobfish? The real match-up is naked mole rats versus every single other animal ever. And naked mole rats would win that one too. Music fade out.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Teamwork really does make the dream work for naked mole rats. Linnea, what's it out to you about Comrade's declaration of greatness?
LINNEA: I liked your point about naked mole rats never getting cancer because I think that's super cool. I also like the digging song. There was just something about that song that I liked.
MOLLY BLOOM: It was captivating.
LINNEA: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: That queen, big, knows how to sing. Very impressive. All right, Mike. It is time for your rebuttal. Please tell us why naked mole rats really aren't all that. You've got 30 seconds and your time starts now.
MARK CABELLON: OK. So, look. I want to say this rebuttal is going to be really difficult for me, but you did all the hard work for me. I mean, you admit that the name is bad, naked mole rat. It's the only animal name where every word is worse than the last word. Naked, mole, rat? No thank you.
We also skipped, conveniently, over the fun fact that naked mole rats don't need water because they get all their nutrients from poop. That's right. Naked mole rats eat their own poop. I think that should be enough of a point. But I'll keep going.
Living in colonies? You know what's worse than one naked mole rat? A hundred naked mole rats.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
COMRADE TRIPP: Only the babies eat poop, just to be clear. The rest--
MARK CABELLON: Oh, like that's better. Only the babies that eat poop.
COMRADE TRIPP: They eat plant roots, like tubers and stuff, like carrots. And some of them can even plant, they'll plant like the vestiges of the tubers so they have more food later.
LINNEA: Wow. That's pretty smart.
COMRADE TRIPP: Also, poop is sometimes, poop has some health benefits, I don't know.
MARK CABELLON: Uh-oh. I can't wait to hear where this sentence is going. Maybe that's how we get rid of cancer. Please don't eat your own poop. Yes, kids.
[LAUGHTER]
Sorry.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Linnea, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the Declaration of Greatness you like best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument.
Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team persuasive to the max? Award your points but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?
LINNEA: Yes, I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Comrade and Mike, how you two feeling so far?
MARK CABELLON: I feel like I made a really efficient argument.
COMRADE TRIPP: There's been a lot of good points for both of us. I mean, maybe there is a middle ground because that's where naked mole rats live, in the middle of the ground. How about that? Feeling OK.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. It's time for a quick break. Grab your swim trunks.
LINNEA: And we'll burrow right back, with more Smash Boom Best.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation. What's of debate fans? Taylor Lincoln here with my man from another fam, Todd Douglas.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hey, Tay. Are you ready to rumble? Because we are late for the big game.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: We were originally going to go to the medium game, but Todd snagged his tickets to the big game.
TODD DOUGLAS: And now we're living large, unlike the two fans we just passed.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yeah, those two were in the middle of an argument and one of them kept using a logical fallacy. A logical fallacy is a weak argument that your opponent can poke holes in.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yep. Let's loop around so we can hear their argument.
FRAN: Woo! I can't wait for this game. It's going to be so epic.
SAM: You can say that again, Fran. I always love the season opener. The fans, the food, the fresh cut field. Nothing can beat it.
FRAN: You got that right, Sam. Except the field hasn't been freshly cut. It's turf.
SAM: What?
FRAN: Artificial grass.
SAM: What? You're telling me they replaced the real grass with fake grass? That's bogus. It's going to ruin the game.
FRAN: Well, there are pros and cons to turf, sure, but that doesn't mean it'll ruin the game.
SAM: Fake grass is terrible. It ain't right. It ain't natural. The only way you can play a real game is on real grass.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: We're going to need a flag on that logical fallacy.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah. Sam's argument was a textbook example of the appeal to nature fallacy. That's when you argue something must be right just because it's natural.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Just because the game isn't taking place on real grass, doesn't mean it'll be bad.
TODD DOUGLAS: Well, we got to get going if we want to make the big game. See you next time on State of Debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
LINNEA: And I'm your judge, Linnea.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this crafty debate idea from Lily.
LILY: My debate idea is knitting versus crocheting.
LINNEA: I can't wait to see how those arguments tie together.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Lily thinks should win.
LINNEA: And now it's back to our debate, blobfish versus naked mole rat.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the micro round.
For the micro round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Mike and Comrade, the prompt was a life coach. For this micro round, each side is a life coach who is going to give a motivational speech, filled with advice. Mike went first last time so Comrade, you're up. Inspire us, the naked mole rat way.
COMRADE TRIPP: Hello. You are listening to me, your naked mole rat queen. This is part one of our motivational life affirmation with intention and love series.
As the leader of hundreds of naked mole rats, I know all too well how important it is to look beneath the surface. You know that old phrase, don't make a mountain out of a mole hill? It's supposed to mean quit exaggerating. It's no big deal.
Well, I'm here to tell you that mole hills are a big deal. I've lived in one. My entire life and they are much more intricate and complicated than mountains. They're mazes, more than two miles wide, sprawling through the soil, crawling with hundreds of hardworking critters.
Unlike mountains, mole hills can appear overnight. They are the result of extensive underground construction, vast, sunless worlds designed with purpose and intention. Sometimes your response to a problem may seem exaggerated and disproportionate compared to others because you see it more clearly than they do. Don't let them gaslight you. That's dismissive and rude.
Mountains may literally overshadow your mole hills, but philosophically, spiritually, emotionally, mole hills stand twice as tall. That is the naked truth I wanted to share with you today. Break the mold. A problem made smaller isn't solved. Problems must be understood to be solved.
And one more thing. The wrinklier your brain is, the smarter you are. So the wrinklier your body is, the smarter you are also. Love your wrinkles, love your body, love yourself. Nothing is more mole-tivating than letting yourself be yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom again.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. That was so great. All hail the queen. Mike, now it's your turn to boo us with blobfish brilliance.
MARK CABELLON: Look, I know that sometimes it feels like people are judging you without really getting to know you. Take it from me, Bob Tisch, the blobfish. I know a thing or two about being judged, not for my integrity, or my character, or my ability to cook a perfect risotto. No, I'm judged for my damp, goosey skin, and slimy, perpetual frown.
Sure. People may make fun of me for my alarming resemblance to a middle aged supply chain analyst, but when that happens, you know what I remind myself? That when I am in my element, deep at the bottom of the ocean, I am beautiful. And I am strong.
So strong, in fact, that I can withstand the overwhelming darkness and crushing pressure of the deep seas. That's the environment where I thrive. And that's what you need to find for yourself.
Find the place where you thrive, where you can accomplish the things that make you special and unique. For me, it's the frigid nothingness of the ocean floor, where I can wait for days on end for a tasty, hapless crustacean to come along.
And you know what else? When I'm down there, in the inky darkness, I am gorgeous. No blobby, pink skin, no uncanny human face. Just a good old fashioned fish.
All I need is 1,000 metric tons of pressure keeping all my insides contained, like a giant set of Spanx. So don't compare yourself to others and don't let anyone judge your book by its cover. Get out there and find your bottom of the ocean.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Very, very inspirational Bob. Well done. Linnea, what did you like about Mike and Comrade's micro rounds?
LINNEA: They were both really funny, and both of them had very good life advice. Like now I'm inspired to find my bottom of the ocean and now I'm inspired to not try to make my problems smaller.
MOLLY BLOOM: Such good advice. But this is going to be a challenging point to award because they are both so good. But you have to do it, Linnea. Please award a point for this micro round.
The criteria are completely up to you. Did someone sneak in facts? Did someone make some jokes that made you giggle? Did someone inspire you to be your best self? Have you made your decision?
LINNEA: Yes, I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy, sneak attack. This is our improvised round, where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called verses verses. You've each got 30 seconds to tell us why your side is the best, in rhyme. The more rhymes, the better.
So, for example, if your side was goat, you might say, hey, I'm a goat. I'm a nanny, not a boat. Got horns. You've been warned. Chew on shoes and canoes, et cetera, et cetera.
So we just want rhymes, so many rhymes. Does that make sense, Mike and Comrade?
MARK CABELLON: It makes sense, and I'm terrified
COMRADE TRIPP: I'm very afraid as well.
MOLLY BLOOM: You guys you better listen to those motivational speeches again to get you guys hyped up.
MARK CABELLON: That's true. You're right. I should take my own advice.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly. All right. Mike, we are going to start with you. Please convince us why blobfish are breathtaking, with your time best rhymes. You're going to have 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
MARK CABELLON: OK. Look, blobfish skin might be blobby, but it's better than skin that looks dry and knobby. Blobfish skin might look fatty, but naked mole rats make me feel real batty.
MOLLY BLOOM: Keep going.
MARK CABELLON: Oh, gosh. OK. Sure, I might just look like a lump.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
MARK CABELLON: OK, good. OK, good. I had nothing. I really had nothing.
MOLLY BLOOM: I really want to know what you were going to rhyme with lump.
MARK CABELLON: I do too.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Comrade, please give us your best naked mole rat rhymes and show us why these rodents are rad. You have 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
COMRADE TRIPP: Naked mole rats live in the Earth. They know their own worth. They're brilliant, like Colin Firth. It's an actor. They're always on high alert because they know they rarely have-- they don't get hurt because no cancer.
Cancer, they don't get cancer again. They live in the dirt, alert, hurt, dirt, Earth, worth, Colin Firth. Those were, that's all I got. That's it.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. Well done, both of you. Linnea, this is going to be another tough point to award, but please think about which side impressed you the most with their amazing rhymes. And please award your fourth point. Linnea, have you made your decision?
LINNEA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. Then it's time for our final round, the final 6. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Comrade, let's hear your six words for naked mole rat glory.
COMRADE TRIPP: Mostly skin, but also a heart.
LINNEA: That's cute.
MARK CABELLON: That's so sweet.
MOLLY BLOOM: So touching. OK.
CHILD VOICEOVER:
MARK CABELLON: How do I compete with that?
MOLLY BLOOM: It's tough, but I know you can do it, Mike. It's your turn. Give us six words for why blobfish are the best.
MARK CABELLON: Blobfish, more like good job fish.
COMRADE TRIPP: That's beautiful. That's wonderful.
MOLLY BLOOM: And an excellent. Rhyme. Very well done. All right, Linnea, it is time to award your final point for this final six. Have you made your decision?
LINNEA: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, tally up those points. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
LINNEA: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, drum roll please. And the winner is.
LINNEA: Blobfish.
MARK CABELLON: Yes. Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Wow. This was a close debate. Please, Linnea, tell me, was there a moment that really sealed the deal for blobfish?
LINNEA: It was the life advice.
MOLLY BLOOM: You were inspired.
LINNEA: Yeah, I was so inspired.
MARK CABELLON: Comrade, I want to start off by saying I really liked that song. I really had no rebuttal to that song. You've got a big future on Broadway.
And I'm also a big fan of Colin Firth so we have that in common. I feel like we would get along, if we just hung out. And you're much, much better at rhyming than I am. So congratulations.
COMRADE TRIPP: Mike, your micro round was incredible and inspired me as well. I feel inspired to do better at Smash Boom Best next time. You were wonderful.
MOLLY BLOOM: And that's it for today's debate battle. Linnea crowned blobfish the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
LINNEA: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
MARK CABELLON: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Hans Buetow, Anna Weggle, and Aron Woldeselassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Derek Ramirez and Justin [? Dooler, ?] with sound design by Hans Buetow and Rachel Breeze.
COMRADE TRIPP: Our editors are Shahla Farzan and Sanden Totten.
MALE VOICEOVER: And we had production help from Rosie Dupont, Anna Goldfield, Ruby Guthrie, Marc Sanchez, and Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Perlman, and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Mike, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
MARK CABELLON: Sure. I want to shout out my favorite human, Laura, and my favorite dog, Cosmo.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Comrade? Any special shout outs?
COMRADE TRIPP: I'd like to shout out my nephew, Dylan, and neice, Malala. And I don't have any pets. As I said before, they've all passed away.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Linnea? Any special thanks or shout outs?
LINNEA: Yeah. My family, for always being there for me. And my friends, who are just the best people in the world. And especially Clear Springs Elementary in Minnetonka, for letting me use one of your classrooms to audition for this, especially Miss Bartels.
MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you, Ms. Bartell. We appreciate you. Before we go, let's check in and see who Lily thinks should win the knitting versus crocheting debate.
LILY: I think knitting should win because it's easier and more fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down, drag out debate. head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line.
And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube, where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a news Smash Boom Best debate battle next week.
LINNEA: Goodbye.
MARK CABELLON: See you.
[MUSIC] Oh, you're the smash boom best, put you through the test. You're the smash boom best, better than the rest. It's a smash boom best, it's a smash boom best.
MOLLY BLOOM: Bravo. That was delightful. Holy cow.
COMRADE TRIPP: We did it.
MOLLY BLOOM: So funny.
COMRADE TRIPP: We did it.
MOLLY BLOOM: We did it.
LINNEA: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a match-up between two dazzling denizens of the depths. It's blobfish versus naked mole rat. We've got actor and comedian, Mike Cabellon, ready to put on the pressure for team blobfish.
MARK CABELLON: Team blobfish here to make you sob fish.
MOLLY BLOOM: And comedian, Comrade Tripp is here to don the mantle for team naked mole rat.
COMRADE TRIPP: The mantle, the core, the crust, every layer of the Earth, we're going to unearth the truth.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is, Linnea, from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Linnea loves to read, has a soft spot for ugly animals, and has visited around 20 national parks. Hi, Linnea.
LINNEA: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So you've been to 20 national parks. That's an incredible feat. Which one was your favorite?
LINNEA: Definitely Dry Tortugas in Florida.
MOLLY BLOOM: Tell me about it. I don't know anything about it.
LINNEA: OK. So it's basically just an island in the middle of the sea that you have to take a boat to. And on this island, there's a huge historic fort and there's a moat that you can walk around and see a coral reef in the water. And there's a beach where you can go swimming. It's so cool.
MOLLY BLOOM: That sounds amazing. So is there one that's still on your list that you haven't visited?
LINNEA: OK, so I haven't been to Voyagers, which is here, in Minnesota, so it seems kind of weird. But it's part of the Boundary Waters that separate the US and Canada. And it's mostly water but there's still hiking trails and stuff that you can do.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very cool. OK. So what is it that you love about ugly animals?
LINNEA: I don't know, it's just their charm. Like most people hate them. But I look at a picture of an ugly animal and I see the things that make it cute. Like maybe it has tiny ears or something, or a little curly tail. It's not about the big picture. It's the little things.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's wonderful. So do you have any advice for our debaters today?
LINNEA: Don't afraid to be mean, I don't know. There's just something about people not like having a filter and just saying what they want about what they believe.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, so maybe not mean. Maybe just direct.
LINNEA: Yeah, direct.
MARK CABELLON: No, I just threw out all of my polite notes, so here we go.
COMRADE TRIPP: I've never been mean before.
MOLLY BLOOM: Will Linnea side with Mike or Comrade? We'll have to dig in to see. Linnea, are you ready to judge today's debate?
LINNEA: Never been readier.
MOLLY BLOOM: Amazing. Before we dive in, let's review the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds of argumentation, the Declaration of Greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack, and the final 6. After each round, our judge Linnea will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. OK, Mike, Comrade, and Linnea, are you ready?
LINNEA: Yes.
MARK CABELLON: Let's do it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the.
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of Greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30s to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin, and Mike, you're up first. Tell us what makes blobfish worthy of the win.
MARLIN: Hey, dudes. I'm marlin the blue marlin.
SAM: And I'm Sam, the Atlantic salmon. We are best friends and the coolest fish in our school.
MARLIN: Yeah, we are. We listen to the coolest music.
SAM: Eat the coolest food.
SAM: And have the coolest time. We're just the coolest fish around. Geez, here comes Bob the blobfish.
BOB: Hey, guys. Did you guys do your algebra homework? Oh, by the way, great news. We're having a pop quiz today. Yeah.
SAM: Bob.
MARLIN: Bob. So uncool.
MARK CABELLON: Sure, the blobfish might not seem like the coolest creature in the sea at first glance. It looks all floppy and squishy, kind of like it's melting. Plus, it has slimy skin, a wide, sad mouth, and what looks like a big, bulbous nose. But once you get to know the blobfish, you'll realize it's truly incredible and worthy of our love and respect.
BOB: Yeah, only look like a melty blob when I'm taken out of the water. I live almost 4000 feet deep in the ocean, and I look totally different down there. Check it out.
MARK CABELLON: See?
MARLIN: Bob, you're beautiful.
SAM: So cool.
MARK CABELLON: It's true. The blobfish is perfectly suited for living thousands of feet underwater, where water pressure is really high. The pressure of the deep ocean works almost like your skeleton works in your body. It holds everything in place. That's why the blobfish looks like a squishy lump when it's pulled from the ocean.
BOB: Oh, no.
MARK CABELLON: Its body is actually a fascinating piece of evolution. Because it lives on the ocean floor, the blobfish has no swim bladder. Now, for those of you who aren't proficient in marine biology, a swim bladder is a special organ lots of fish use to stay afloat in the water. Instead of a boring, old swim bladder, the blobfish uses something else to float, its beautiful, gelatinous skin.
And unlike other fish, who are constantly rushing around, the blobfish is incredibly chill. In fact, a lot of its time is spent waiting, waiting for prey. The blobfish is a very patient hunter. This deep sea diner waits for crustaceans or other sea creatures to walk in front of it, then munch. Snaps them up.
Makes sense, right? Why go around chasing food when you can just wait for it to come to you?
BLOBFISH: Hey, Tony, you want to drive 50 miles to get a slice of pizza?
TONY: Nah, let's just get it delivered and have it come to us, like we are noble blobfish.
MARK CABELLON: The blobfish isn't just an evolutionary marvel and a highly efficient hunter, it's also super hip. That's right. This fish is cool, edgy, and so new, at least to us. Scientists first discovered it in 2003, making it a Gen Z icon. In fact, the very day it was discovered, its picture was taken and the viral fish sensation, Mr. Blobby, was born.
Since then, the blobfish has taken the world by storm there have been blobfish toys, memes, songs, even TV characters.
MARLIN: Bob, you're on TV?
BOB: Yeah. But only until my music career takes off.
MARK CABELLON: The blobfish is also an activist it's the official mascot of the Ugly Animal Preservation Society, a group that works to educate young people on the conservation of ugly animals. Thanks to the blobfish, other less good looking animals, like say, the naked mole rat, are getting the attention they need.
SAM: Wow, Bob. I didn't know you were so beautiful on the outside and inside.
BOB: Thanks, Sam. Hey, you guys want to split a krill shake?
MARLIN: Seriously?
SAM: OMG. Totally.
MARK CABELLON: Once you get to know the awesome interior life of a blobfish, like Bob, you'll realize these creatures are more than just a deep sea diving hunter with a heart of gold. They're compassionate, complex.
ALL: And super cool.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, a declaration of greatness to make Mr. Blobby proud. Linnea, what stood out to you about Mike's argument?
LINNEA: I loved the swim bladder pun, the proficient thing. It was so funny. And I also liked how you had a ton of facts in there. I didn't know that the blobfish didn't have a swim bladder. And so that was really interesting to learn.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very good. OK, Comrade, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why blobfish fall flat. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
COMRADE TRIPP: So they don't do anything. They just hang out. They're not even ugly. They just look like regular fish.
They're not even a blob. They're just regular fish. I mean, all fish are kind of ugly. But, I mean, it makes sense why they're going extinct if they're not doing anything. Gen Z, is 2003, is that still Gen Z?
I don't know enough about time to-- blobfish? More like nah, no. No thank you, fish. More like blah fish.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
COMRADE TRIPP: I'm learning to be mean.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mike, anything you want to say?
MARK CABELLON: Wow. So much, but I'm going to save it for my rebuttal.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, sounds good. All right, Comrade, it is your turn. Tell us why naked mole rats are top of the heap.
SPEAKER 1: I found something incredible, a discovery that will revolutionize the field of zoology.
SPEAKER 2: Is that a raw bratwurst?
SPEAKER 3: Or a very large pink raisin?
SPEAKER 2: No. It's a burrito inside of another loosely wrapped burrito.
SPEAKER 1: I think it's a mole or a rat or something. I found a bunch of them underground and each one is more beautiful than the next. I think I'll call it the wrinkled mouse gerbil.
SPEAKER 3: How about we call it the naked raisin bratwurst?
SPEAKER 2: Oh, or the bald mole bandicoot.
SPEAKER 3: Or the unclothed badger rat.
SPEAKER 1: No, no, no. You named the last species. It's my turn. It's the naked mole rat.
SPEAKER 2: The naked mole rat.
SPEAKER 3: The naked mole rat.
SPEAKER 1: The naked mole rat.
COMRADE TRIPP: Naked mole rat. Individually, those three words are the most unappealing I've ever heard. But when you put them together, you get the most perfect creature to ever exist. It's not a mole or a rat, and it's not completely naked, but no other name quite fits. Except maybe Smash Boom Best winner.
Naked mole rat may look soft and fragile, but they're actually super survivors. They don't need to drink water, they don't need sunlight, and they barely need air. How is this possible, you ask? They live in underground tunnels so they've evolved to get all the water they need from eating plant roots. And they can go without oxygen for up to 18 minutes.
Plus, naked mole rats can live up to 30 years, which is at least two times longer than most any pet, cat, dog, or fish. Shout out to my childhood pets, my two fish, my two cats, and my dog, rest in peace. Maybe if I'd gotten a pet naked mole rat back then I wouldn't be alone now.
Another thing that helps them live long lives, they almost never get cancer. Scientists don't know why, but they think a special compound in their loose, stretchy skin might be the reason. And as they grow older, they don't look any differently than they did when they were young. Naked mole rats are spry and limber until the end.
Healthy as a horse? More like healthy as a naked mole rat. The super tough creatures live in colonies and are led by a super tough queen. You've heard of the queen bee. Well, the queen naked mole rat is bigger and badder than any other, literally. She can grow twice as big as the rest and fights off anyone who dare challenge her.
Every colony has its own dialect of squeaks, taught by its queen, who sings to her servants, instructing them what to do. She even has a special song for when she uses the bathroom.
QUEEN: [SINGING] Dig far and dig deep, and share what I've sung. Build new bedrooms to sleep and care for my young. As your queen, I command you, follow my every decree. Also, build me a bathroom because I've got to go pee.
COMRADE TRIPP: Each naked mole rat has its own role in their society, digging new tunnels and rooms, searching for food, and caring for dozens of babies. But even though they all have jobs, they have to work together.
Naked mole rats are cold blooded, like lizards, so they have no way to regulate their own body temperature. To keep each other warm they cooperate and huddle together. We could all learn something from these little pink rodents.
Naked mole rats, they live longer than horses, are cold blooded like lizards, sing like songbirds, spend their entire lives underground, and dodge cancer. Naked mole rats versus blobfish? The real match-up is naked mole rats versus every single other animal ever. And naked mole rats would win that one too. Music fade out.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Teamwork really does make the dream work for naked mole rats. Linnea, what's it out to you about Comrade's declaration of greatness?
LINNEA: I liked your point about naked mole rats never getting cancer because I think that's super cool. I also like the digging song. There was just something about that song that I liked.
MOLLY BLOOM: It was captivating.
LINNEA: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: That queen, big, knows how to sing. Very impressive. All right, Mike. It is time for your rebuttal. Please tell us why naked mole rats really aren't all that. You've got 30 seconds and your time starts now.
MARK CABELLON: OK. So, look. I want to say this rebuttal is going to be really difficult for me, but you did all the hard work for me. I mean, you admit that the name is bad, naked mole rat. It's the only animal name where every word is worse than the last word. Naked, mole, rat? No thank you.
We also skipped, conveniently, over the fun fact that naked mole rats don't need water because they get all their nutrients from poop. That's right. Naked mole rats eat their own poop. I think that should be enough of a point. But I'll keep going.
Living in colonies? You know what's worse than one naked mole rat? A hundred naked mole rats.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
COMRADE TRIPP: Only the babies eat poop, just to be clear. The rest--
MARK CABELLON: Oh, like that's better. Only the babies that eat poop.
COMRADE TRIPP: They eat plant roots, like tubers and stuff, like carrots. And some of them can even plant, they'll plant like the vestiges of the tubers so they have more food later.
LINNEA: Wow. That's pretty smart.
COMRADE TRIPP: Also, poop is sometimes, poop has some health benefits, I don't know.
MARK CABELLON: Uh-oh. I can't wait to hear where this sentence is going. Maybe that's how we get rid of cancer. Please don't eat your own poop. Yes, kids.
[LAUGHTER]
Sorry.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Linnea, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the Declaration of Greatness you like best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument.
Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team persuasive to the max? Award your points but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?
LINNEA: Yes, I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Comrade and Mike, how you two feeling so far?
MARK CABELLON: I feel like I made a really efficient argument.
COMRADE TRIPP: There's been a lot of good points for both of us. I mean, maybe there is a middle ground because that's where naked mole rats live, in the middle of the ground. How about that? Feeling OK.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. It's time for a quick break. Grab your swim trunks.
LINNEA: And we'll burrow right back, with more Smash Boom Best.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation. What's of debate fans? Taylor Lincoln here with my man from another fam, Todd Douglas.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hey, Tay. Are you ready to rumble? Because we are late for the big game.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: We were originally going to go to the medium game, but Todd snagged his tickets to the big game.
TODD DOUGLAS: And now we're living large, unlike the two fans we just passed.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yeah, those two were in the middle of an argument and one of them kept using a logical fallacy. A logical fallacy is a weak argument that your opponent can poke holes in.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yep. Let's loop around so we can hear their argument.
FRAN: Woo! I can't wait for this game. It's going to be so epic.
SAM: You can say that again, Fran. I always love the season opener. The fans, the food, the fresh cut field. Nothing can beat it.
FRAN: You got that right, Sam. Except the field hasn't been freshly cut. It's turf.
SAM: What?
FRAN: Artificial grass.
SAM: What? You're telling me they replaced the real grass with fake grass? That's bogus. It's going to ruin the game.
FRAN: Well, there are pros and cons to turf, sure, but that doesn't mean it'll ruin the game.
SAM: Fake grass is terrible. It ain't right. It ain't natural. The only way you can play a real game is on real grass.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: We're going to need a flag on that logical fallacy.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah. Sam's argument was a textbook example of the appeal to nature fallacy. That's when you argue something must be right just because it's natural.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Just because the game isn't taking place on real grass, doesn't mean it'll be bad.
TODD DOUGLAS: Well, we got to get going if we want to make the big game. See you next time on State of Debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
LINNEA: And I'm your judge, Linnea.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this crafty debate idea from Lily.
LILY: My debate idea is knitting versus crocheting.
LINNEA: I can't wait to see how those arguments tie together.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Lily thinks should win.
LINNEA: And now it's back to our debate, blobfish versus naked mole rat.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the micro round.
For the micro round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Mike and Comrade, the prompt was a life coach. For this micro round, each side is a life coach who is going to give a motivational speech, filled with advice. Mike went first last time so Comrade, you're up. Inspire us, the naked mole rat way.
COMRADE TRIPP: Hello. You are listening to me, your naked mole rat queen. This is part one of our motivational life affirmation with intention and love series.
As the leader of hundreds of naked mole rats, I know all too well how important it is to look beneath the surface. You know that old phrase, don't make a mountain out of a mole hill? It's supposed to mean quit exaggerating. It's no big deal.
Well, I'm here to tell you that mole hills are a big deal. I've lived in one. My entire life and they are much more intricate and complicated than mountains. They're mazes, more than two miles wide, sprawling through the soil, crawling with hundreds of hardworking critters.
Unlike mountains, mole hills can appear overnight. They are the result of extensive underground construction, vast, sunless worlds designed with purpose and intention. Sometimes your response to a problem may seem exaggerated and disproportionate compared to others because you see it more clearly than they do. Don't let them gaslight you. That's dismissive and rude.
Mountains may literally overshadow your mole hills, but philosophically, spiritually, emotionally, mole hills stand twice as tall. That is the naked truth I wanted to share with you today. Break the mold. A problem made smaller isn't solved. Problems must be understood to be solved.
And one more thing. The wrinklier your brain is, the smarter you are. So the wrinklier your body is, the smarter you are also. Love your wrinkles, love your body, love yourself. Nothing is more mole-tivating than letting yourself be yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom again.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. That was so great. All hail the queen. Mike, now it's your turn to boo us with blobfish brilliance.
MARK CABELLON: Look, I know that sometimes it feels like people are judging you without really getting to know you. Take it from me, Bob Tisch, the blobfish. I know a thing or two about being judged, not for my integrity, or my character, or my ability to cook a perfect risotto. No, I'm judged for my damp, goosey skin, and slimy, perpetual frown.
Sure. People may make fun of me for my alarming resemblance to a middle aged supply chain analyst, but when that happens, you know what I remind myself? That when I am in my element, deep at the bottom of the ocean, I am beautiful. And I am strong.
So strong, in fact, that I can withstand the overwhelming darkness and crushing pressure of the deep seas. That's the environment where I thrive. And that's what you need to find for yourself.
Find the place where you thrive, where you can accomplish the things that make you special and unique. For me, it's the frigid nothingness of the ocean floor, where I can wait for days on end for a tasty, hapless crustacean to come along.
And you know what else? When I'm down there, in the inky darkness, I am gorgeous. No blobby, pink skin, no uncanny human face. Just a good old fashioned fish.
All I need is 1,000 metric tons of pressure keeping all my insides contained, like a giant set of Spanx. So don't compare yourself to others and don't let anyone judge your book by its cover. Get out there and find your bottom of the ocean.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Very, very inspirational Bob. Well done. Linnea, what did you like about Mike and Comrade's micro rounds?
LINNEA: They were both really funny, and both of them had very good life advice. Like now I'm inspired to find my bottom of the ocean and now I'm inspired to not try to make my problems smaller.
MOLLY BLOOM: Such good advice. But this is going to be a challenging point to award because they are both so good. But you have to do it, Linnea. Please award a point for this micro round.
The criteria are completely up to you. Did someone sneak in facts? Did someone make some jokes that made you giggle? Did someone inspire you to be your best self? Have you made your decision?
LINNEA: Yes, I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy, sneak attack. This is our improvised round, where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called verses verses. You've each got 30 seconds to tell us why your side is the best, in rhyme. The more rhymes, the better.
So, for example, if your side was goat, you might say, hey, I'm a goat. I'm a nanny, not a boat. Got horns. You've been warned. Chew on shoes and canoes, et cetera, et cetera.
So we just want rhymes, so many rhymes. Does that make sense, Mike and Comrade?
MARK CABELLON: It makes sense, and I'm terrified
COMRADE TRIPP: I'm very afraid as well.
MOLLY BLOOM: You guys you better listen to those motivational speeches again to get you guys hyped up.
MARK CABELLON: That's true. You're right. I should take my own advice.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly. All right. Mike, we are going to start with you. Please convince us why blobfish are breathtaking, with your time best rhymes. You're going to have 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
MARK CABELLON: OK. Look, blobfish skin might be blobby, but it's better than skin that looks dry and knobby. Blobfish skin might look fatty, but naked mole rats make me feel real batty.
MOLLY BLOOM: Keep going.
MARK CABELLON: Oh, gosh. OK. Sure, I might just look like a lump.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
MARK CABELLON: OK, good. OK, good. I had nothing. I really had nothing.
MOLLY BLOOM: I really want to know what you were going to rhyme with lump.
MARK CABELLON: I do too.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Comrade, please give us your best naked mole rat rhymes and show us why these rodents are rad. You have 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
COMRADE TRIPP: Naked mole rats live in the Earth. They know their own worth. They're brilliant, like Colin Firth. It's an actor. They're always on high alert because they know they rarely have-- they don't get hurt because no cancer.
Cancer, they don't get cancer again. They live in the dirt, alert, hurt, dirt, Earth, worth, Colin Firth. Those were, that's all I got. That's it.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. Well done, both of you. Linnea, this is going to be another tough point to award, but please think about which side impressed you the most with their amazing rhymes. And please award your fourth point. Linnea, have you made your decision?
LINNEA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. Then it's time for our final round, the final 6. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Comrade, let's hear your six words for naked mole rat glory.
COMRADE TRIPP: Mostly skin, but also a heart.
LINNEA: That's cute.
MARK CABELLON: That's so sweet.
MOLLY BLOOM: So touching. OK.
CHILD VOICEOVER:
MARK CABELLON: How do I compete with that?
MOLLY BLOOM: It's tough, but I know you can do it, Mike. It's your turn. Give us six words for why blobfish are the best.
MARK CABELLON: Blobfish, more like good job fish.
COMRADE TRIPP: That's beautiful. That's wonderful.
MOLLY BLOOM: And an excellent. Rhyme. Very well done. All right, Linnea, it is time to award your final point for this final six. Have you made your decision?
LINNEA: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, tally up those points. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
LINNEA: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, drum roll please. And the winner is.
LINNEA: Blobfish.
MARK CABELLON: Yes. Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. Wow. This was a close debate. Please, Linnea, tell me, was there a moment that really sealed the deal for blobfish?
LINNEA: It was the life advice.
MOLLY BLOOM: You were inspired.
LINNEA: Yeah, I was so inspired.
MARK CABELLON: Comrade, I want to start off by saying I really liked that song. I really had no rebuttal to that song. You've got a big future on Broadway.
And I'm also a big fan of Colin Firth so we have that in common. I feel like we would get along, if we just hung out. And you're much, much better at rhyming than I am. So congratulations.
COMRADE TRIPP: Mike, your micro round was incredible and inspired me as well. I feel inspired to do better at Smash Boom Best next time. You were wonderful.
MOLLY BLOOM: And that's it for today's debate battle. Linnea crowned blobfish the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
LINNEA: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
MARK CABELLON: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Hans Buetow, Anna Weggle, and Aron Woldeselassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Derek Ramirez and Justin [? Dooler, ?] with sound design by Hans Buetow and Rachel Breeze.
COMRADE TRIPP: Our editors are Shahla Farzan and Sanden Totten.
MALE VOICEOVER: And we had production help from Rosie Dupont, Anna Goldfield, Ruby Guthrie, Marc Sanchez, and Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Perlman, and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Mike, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
MARK CABELLON: Sure. I want to shout out my favorite human, Laura, and my favorite dog, Cosmo.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Comrade? Any special shout outs?
COMRADE TRIPP: I'd like to shout out my nephew, Dylan, and neice, Malala. And I don't have any pets. As I said before, they've all passed away.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Linnea? Any special thanks or shout outs?
LINNEA: Yeah. My family, for always being there for me. And my friends, who are just the best people in the world. And especially Clear Springs Elementary in Minnetonka, for letting me use one of your classrooms to audition for this, especially Miss Bartels.
MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you, Ms. Bartell. We appreciate you. Before we go, let's check in and see who Lily thinks should win the knitting versus crocheting debate.
LILY: I think knitting should win because it's easier and more fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down, drag out debate. head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line.
And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube, where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a news Smash Boom Best debate battle next week.
LINNEA: Goodbye.
MARK CABELLON: See you.
[MUSIC] Oh, you're the smash boom best, put you through the test. You're the smash boom best, better than the rest. It's a smash boom best, it's a smash boom best.
MOLLY BLOOM: Bravo. That was delightful. Holy cow.
COMRADE TRIPP: We did it.
MOLLY BLOOM: So funny.
COMRADE TRIPP: We did it.
MOLLY BLOOM: We did it.
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